diagnosis day

[deewilkey]

Hello all,

Not many know me, but I do visit often and answer some posts when I feel strong. I do hope you all got through the tough holidays with lots of support and happy memories.

I thought yesterday would be tough since my mom was sick and we didn't know what it was, but today was the day 1 year ago that she was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. She was in such bad shape and we would have never guessed lung cancer. As if her diagnoses wasn't enough, she passed away only 19 days later. It wasn't even enough time to wrap our minds around the fact that she was terminal.

Anyway, today is so hard to face because it was the beginning of her rapid decline. She was only 66 and always so healthy, biking 20 miles/day with my dad and eating salads for 40 years. It still doesn't make sense to my mind that she won't be back. She was such a fun mom, grandma, and friend that the loss is sometimes too much.

How do you all remain positive and keep going when all you really want to do is curl up in a ball and cry all the time?

You all are such an inspiration to me. Thank you all in advance for you loving words and endless support to so many grieving people.

Sincerely,

Stacey

[crystleshoe]

Stacey

Yesterday was a rough day for a lot of us here. I have no words of wisdom on how to make things easier as Ive yet to figure that out but I will tell you that sometimes I do just curl up in a ball and cry and cry and cry and sometimes it helps and sometimes it does not. I hope that the rest of this holiday season passes gently for you.

[teriw]

Hi Stacey,

I think the diagnosis day is always hard. It was for me. It's like life starts to become "before cancer/after cancer." But with your mom passing so quickly afterwards, it must have been a huge shock.

Be gentle on yourself and embrace the people who love you and who you love.

[Barbb]

{{{Stacey}}} I'm so sorry you had such a short time between dx and passing. Many days it is hard to just do what has to be done, those are the days I sit under a blanket in the recliner with my dog. It''s ok to do that.

Barb

[blueeye]

No positive-ness here. Just curl up and cry. Sometimes it makes you feel better for a bit.

[kamataca]

I think curling up and crying is a very good thing to do at times. I really haven't let myself do that too much, which isn't as healthy either.

I have kids, so I feel like I have to keep going...for them. I think it is important to show them that I am sad, but also important to keep things fun for them.

I keep moving forward, but sometimes that is just a defense mechanism. When I stop too long, it hits me. I guess what I'm saying is that there is no 'right' way to do this. We all do what we can, experience set backs, and try to move forward. I pray for some peace for you along this journey as well.

Kelly

[Maryanne]

Tough question there. You just have to take one day at a time and get through it.

Diagnois day is always stressful, especially since it happened so fast to your mom who always ate right, exercised and Iam sure had a positive outlook on life.

I am so sorry for your mom leaving so young. But she will live on through you and her love ones.

Maryanne

[Brandyswa]

Your mom is with you everyday and know that she was right there with you on diagnosis day. There days that you do want to cry and do it, the other days do something that your mom would like to do. You will make it through. When my grandma passed I thought the world would come to an end and now I bake for her all the time. Her specaility was durning christmas to make everyone there favorite dessert, so i do that now for her. It has been 3 years and I find myself still crying every now and again because i miss her so much. stacy you will make it.