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A dose of Reality for Christmas


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WOW! Did I get a dose of it and big time. My sister wanted me to go to the graveyard with her to put some flowers on Beverly's grave, and the tombstone had been put up that morning, but we had not been notified of that. It was like everything came crashing down when I saw that tombstone. I think I stay so deep in denial that I almost went into shock when I saw it. Is that normal?

It is a beautiful tombstone though,and we were able to get some beautiful silk flowers for her. It was a tough day to get through, but we did and I know she is happy that we were able to enjoy Christmas even though we missed her terribly.

I hope everyone was able to manage ok as well.

Love to all,


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Bobby, your reaction is totally normal. There have been several doses of reality thrown my way since my husband passed. I think I've absorbed that he's gone, then something happens to drive it home again. Like I get mail addressed to "the survivors of Joe" and I feel like throwing up.

This Christmas was the first for many of us and I have to say that I'm glad it's over. And I'm glad we survived it.

Big hugs to you.

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"KatieB" Denial is a nice place to live (or have extended visits) but those doses of reality are such a shock.

Oh -- ain't that the truth!! I'm a "regular" in the land of denial, still waiting for him to magically come home. Then the reality hits and it feels like some lunatic is maniacally laughing while they twist the knife that resides in my heart.

Hugs and HUGE kudo's to all for getting through this, the first of many "firsts" for us. We did it!!


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Hi Bobby,

There is no grave marker for Bill (he didn't want one), but I would think that would be a HUGE shock to see for the first time. Huge.

I check Bill's email every other week or so, just in case. Well a day or two before Christmas he received an email from a former work colleague who didn't know he had passed. It was so strange to have to email him and say those words. Then to receive the shocked response back. Reality once again.

I know that I'm not even close to accepting it completely. Intellectually, yes. Emotionally and spiritually, not even.

But Bobby -- I just know Bev and Bill have met up in Heaven!

Good to hear from you,

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Wait til the Grass starts to grow in over the Site! Thats really hard to see. Wishing everyone Peace Comfort and Hugs wrapped IN BIG WARM BLANKETS FROM THE DRYER!!!!!! Love and Peace Randy

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Hello Everybody, I haven't around much lately. I too just wanted the holidays to pass as quickly as possible. My mom loved Christmas and the shopping and making cookies and that great stuff that brings families together. This was my 1st Christmas without her and there is such a hole in my heart. Mom passed away November 9th and when I went to the cemetery Christmas Eve morning her marker had just been added that morning. That was such a great Christmas gift. She nows tells the world Here I Am! I hated not seeing her name on the crypt, but at the same time I could pretend that she wasn't really in there. Overall I am very happy that her name and dates are there.

I thought a lot about those who lost their love ones this past year to this ^%@$*^#@ disease and I pray for happiness for all of you. Lung Cancer may have taken them way too soon but it will NEVER destroy their spirit. They will live on in us and we keep them alive through stories about the happier time. Big hugs!

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