Cookieman Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 As Becky and I approach our next x-ray/check-up (Mar.22/Mar.29), my nerves start to jangle, the jitters set in, every little thing becomes a big thing. This seems to happen before every visit to the Dr. It's a combination of hope and fear, a strange paradox indeed. I personally don't like roller coasters, both the park rides or the emotional ones. I'm sure we'll have a lot more of these (I hope). It seems just when we start to get into a semi-routine, we have to plan for the week of wondering. I know that many of you have bee through this for quite some time, any pointers on how best to handle it. Cookieman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Mr Becky, (sorry that's the name I first knew you by--lol) I dont' know if there is an answer, and llike a very wise woman told me, I think her name was Becky, "sometimes answers just bring more questions." I think I paraphrased that, so don't hold her to it. lol But seriously, as a patient, my heart goes out to you as a caregiver/helpmate/love of Becky's own true heart--We know this damn disease effects those we love, and we would give anything for that not to be. This dang disease gives new meaning to that old song "Love hurts" --but there are rewards, I only hope and pray there are. Wise Norme and Don Woods told me there are, so I must believe it, or else it would be too hard. Just hold each other tight and love with all your might. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Mr Becky, (sorry that's the name I first knew you by--lol) I dont' know if there is an answer, and llike a very wise woman told me, I think her name was Becky, "sometimes answers just bring more questions." I think I paraphrased that, so don't hold her to it. lol But seriously, as a patient, my heart goes out to you as a caregiver/helpmate/love of Becky's own true heart--We know this damn disease effects those we love, and we would give anything for that not to be. This dang disease gives new meaning to that old song "Love hurts" --but there are rewards, I only hope and pray there are. Wise Norme and Don Woods told me there are, so I must believe it, or else it would be too hard. Just hold each other tight and love with all your might. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Hello Cookieman! Nice to meet Becky's other half. I know exactly what you mean as I'm sure do most of us on this board. We went for scans for my husband David yesterday and I can tell you we were both in a mess. I still feel weak at the knees and physically sick, dreading what they might tell us in a few days time. Please know that you and "Snowflake" will be in our thoughts and we will be sending prayers and positive vibes your way. I so enjoy Becky's input on the board, she sounds like a fun person. Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Hello Cookieman, I nearly called you Oreo, your better half is quite a gal, no wonder you are worried. I never worry for myself (bc) my husband always did the worrying for me, and in return I always worried about his tests and the results. Our way of splitting the medical headaches. All I could say is during those waiting periods I always scheduled all the things he enjoyed doing and we kept busy everyday and at night funny movies came in handy. Sending for the rest of the month strong good vibes and prayers. Wishing both of you good results. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Cookieman, If you find that answer you will go from being a cookieman to top dog on this board. Sorry, just hold on tight to the roller coaster and in between time hold hands and lots of hugs......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 What I try to do is to remember that whatever the results are, we will be still fighting this thing tomorrow. No results are so bad that there won't be more options on how to fight. And then if the worst comes, I need to convince Becky of that for a day, then I can get to falling apart myself knowing that she will be there to support me. The first day is my responsibility; after that, she is in charge - the way it should be. Anybody meeting both me and Becky wouldn't hesitate a minute to make sure she was in charge. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Curtis had some good points. One thing I've found that has worked to relieve much of my anxiety of the future is that old cliche "One day at a time". There's a re-post of what I mean by that in the Path Less Travelled forum. Another thing I use (and Becky's heard this one before) is what I call "think about a Zebra instead". It works this way. First off, try NOT to think about an elephant. Doesn't work, huh? As soon as you try not to think about an elephant ... POOF ... there he is! All big and grey and with this LONG ol' nose. It just can't be done that way. BUT ... if you think about a ZEBRA instead you end up NOT thinking about an elephant. So every time I want to not think about an elephant (whatever it is coming up that is giving me the "jitters") I try to find a zebra (something totally unrelated to the coming event) to think about instead. Books, art and getting involved with what's going on with others are some ways I do it. A final little tool I use is called "I'll figure it out when I get there". That's kind of what Curtis was saying. I am an intelligent, competent human being (and I know you are also). No matter WHAT the outcome of any particular experience might be I know I'll figure out a way to handle it. So, after I've done all the preparitory work and there's nothing left to do until whatever it is I'm waiting for actually happens I tell my self "I'll figure it out when I get there", remind my self this is Wednesday not Friday, and then start thinking about a zebra instead. Sounds silly.... but it works! Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Know what you mean about being anxious before the test and until the results are known and I certainly don't have an answer. A friend gets so upset before the test that he actually has to carry a barf bag in the car! You aren't that bad so see it could be worse. Wish I had an answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Hi Mark, What Dean Carl advised, is what I do under a different guise..... Worrying never fixed nothing. So don't. Distract yourself. Rent all the movies you ever wanted to see. Eat well. Cook up a storm. Go out and do something you've wanted to do for a while. Say your prayers when you catch yourself thinking about it, and then go look for the zebra. I would get lost in rented movies, steaks, and trashy novels. You guys can hug and smooch and all that other stuff too. And the time passes. As Becky is one of my favorite people here, I hope her scans are good. The further out from treatment you get, the more likely the scans are good. My doctor told me that. He is always right. After all, I'm still here. Keeping you in my prayers nonetheless.... XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Hey Cookieman, Mr. Becky, whoever you want to be TODAY! My answer to your question regarding DREADED CHECK UP TIMES is this: NOPE! NO ANSWER, just tighten up our belt so your pants don't fall down from all the JITTERING your doing. You'll find out in YEARS to come that you have more then ONE NERVE!! WE have HUNDREDS!! I WAS SHOCKED! Hugs and Prayers are coming your way! Hang tough, it will get easier as year go by. You'll see!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Hi Cookieman, I like cookies too I will be thinking good thoughts for you. I myself am a raving lunatic and almost b-tch like during my mom's scan time. I get so insane that I refuse to allow them to use their phone in case the dr calls and forbid whomever I can not to call them so the phone won't be busy for those two seconds in case dr office calls After all, even with caller ID it could be busy for a second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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