OhioKat Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Well today is my last scheduled chemo session. Next week is the CT scanning to see if I get another all clear. I managed to make it through this chemo without losing ALL my hair although it did thin out quite a bit, but thats better then totally losing it like I did the first time. I have to say I'm glad I changed Drs for the chemo this time. My symptoms seemed to have been managed a lot better, although in fairness to my original Doc it could be that the first time the Etoposide was the cause of most of the problems or something and since thats not what I'm getting this time that could explain the decrease in the side effects. The CT scan has me nervous, which is kind of strange. I'm not nervous about the actual scan, because I've had enough of those to know its not a big deal. I'm just nervous about it coming back clean and then a few months later it something popping up again like last year. They gave me the all clear and then 6 months last a softball sized tumor shows up on my ovary. Honestly I think I'm going to hate this part the most.. this waiting and wondering if it'll come back again. Well I'm off to chemo.. have a good day ya'll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I hear you on the waiting for the other shoe to drop thing... I had to change my perspective on my one-year anniversary. See, I seem to have put my life on hold for the two year period I was told the cancer would probably come back in...at the one year mark, I wondered what in the hell I was WAITING for, I needed to live as if it will NEVER come back or it will have won the mental battle before the physical one has even begun! ...and so, I'm working on getting a new house! Here's hoping all your news is good news! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Hi Ohio. Been wondering how you were. Glad you tolerated chemo well. Remember anything worth having is worth waiting on. This will make sense when you get those results back. Will be looking for your post in the Good News Forum. Bruce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 (((((Kat))))), Glad things went better for you this time round. Prayers and best wishes for a clean scan headed your way! God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Hi Kat, Great to see you post. I am really very happy that your last scans show all clear. I fully understand waiting with bated breath for the next one. I will keep you in my prayers that all continues to go very well. Hang in there, and enjoy each and every day. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Congratulations on getting thru that.I was glad when I finished mine.Prayers to you everything will be clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhioKat Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Found out when I got to chemo that today may not have been my last treatment, that Dr Skeel tends to do 4 sets of treatment (12 actual treatments) then do his scans and stuff & follow it up with 2 more sets (6 treatments) of chemo so chances are this isn't the end quite yet. *sigh* I've often thought the infusion center was much to quiet, not much chit chatting or anything going on. Mostly its people sleeping or reading or sometimes chatting with a friend or family member who's come to chemo with them. Today was different. Today a new guy was there and he was determined to talk & make friends which was cool with me, even if he was in MY chair. hehehe. He's a nice guy. Good looking guy too. He's 33 years old. He, like many here, has SCLC. His is so extensive though, both his lungs are practically filled cancer. He was only diagnosed 3 months ago while he was living in Wisconsin. He's moved back to Ohio to be close to his family. He's only been married 2 months. He's 33 years old, has 3 children & finally married his long term girlfriend. He's been given a year to live. I said numbers aren't written in stone and he nodded but he had that look in his eye, that look that said what the Doc told him felt "right". He didn't say that of course. He did say that his tumors are larger then they were when they were first found 3 months ago. Even with chemo his cancer is growing. He was smiling and laughing and being quite upbeat about it. He wants to be able to take his kids to DisneyWorld. I told him I'd never heard of an organization that will do that sort of things for adults, but Donna the one nurse said she thought there might be one and was going to check with the social worker for him. He looks healthy as can be, I was surprised to learn that he was nearly as upset about losing his hair as I was. I honestly thought for men it wouldn't be as bad since it much more acceptable for a man to be bald. He was pretty upset about his hairy legs not being so hairy anymore, says he won't be wearing any shorts this summer. I thought that was funny since my losing the hair on my legs was definetly a plus since I didn't have to shave them anymore. I'm hoping good things for him. He's much to young for this. They told him he has the lungs of a 90 year old. He looks good. I'm going to be praying for him. I wonder what must it be like to be told in a definet way that you have 1 year to live. I was at least told I had a 20% chance of making it two years. I'm trying to wrap my mind around hearing it laid out so flatly. You have 1 more year to live. That was 3 months ago. He's down to 9 months now. The time it takes to carry a child to full term may be his last time here on earth. 9 months to live, 9 months to be born, 9 months to die. He didn't look like someone looking death in the eye. He didn't look sick at all. I hope if I have to have more chemo that I run into him again, and again and again. I hope the evil sonofabitches in his lungs stop growing. I spent an hour with his man and I already feel invested some how. I really, truely, don't want him to die. So here I am, home from chemo. Feeling not so bad physically, good enough that I'm planning on going out to the group meeting at the Victory Center this evening. Mentally I'm a little numb, bothering at the idea of 6 more treatments the way a tounge worries over a sore tooth and thinking of a man with bright sparkleing eyes and not long enough to live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Ohio, It sounds like this man has a positive attitude about living and beating the odds. That is all it is, statistics and percentages. No one but our Lord, Jesus can say when it is our time to come home. Doctors cannot say what his time frame for living or going home to be with the Lord is. We rebuke that in Jesus name. Miracles do happen as we all know. I will be praying for total healing for this young man as I do for all of the people here on this site. This man has too much to live for and we want to keep his mind set positive. The Lord has plans for him. That is so nice of you to kind of take him under your wing. I pray that your chemo continues working for you and you will be NED. Your in my prayers each day! God Bless and hugs for you, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 OhioKat, it is not easy to go through the 2nd line chemo. You are doing very well indeed. I understand that anxiety is always surrounding us no matter how good news in front of you. But, anyway, this is not controlled by ourselves. Now, I am in a stage to learn to let go but instead, to enjoy the everyday with my dad. OhioKat, live for today. Enjoy it and get the most out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Kat, I met a young man with a similar prognosis from NSCLC, stage IV, mets to... many places. He wasn't happy with the no more options talk he got at johns hopkins, so I referred him to my surgeon at NIH. He had had several courses of chemo by then. My surgeon found him NED. So did the second opinion from my oncologist. Miracles happen. I will keep your young friend in my prayers. A little extra chemo isn't going to hurt if you're NED now. Think of it as insurance. Prayers. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 OhioKat, glad to hear from you! Waiting is h@ll. Hope you can keep occupied enough. And the young man you've met...we can pray he'll get a response from chemo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharKats Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 Oh, I'm so sorry you're having to go through so much more chemo. I KNOW how you felt when you thought you were having the last one because Monday I start my 6th and last round (hopefully last round) at least for a while and when I walk out of there Wednesday I'll be doing a happy dance. (course there's those lovely shots to go back and take Thurs and Friday but that's nuttin. I don't think doctors should ever tell a patient they have a month, a year, or whatever. How the hell do they know for sure? So many people would be devastated and if they really did have just a year they would probably spend a lot of time agonizing over that fact. I hope and pray this young man you met proves them wrong and has many more years ahead of him. I'm sure you gave him a lot of encouragement and hope. I found out last Friday that when my onc first saw me back in January she and the other doctors didn't think I would live more than a few weeks. They are just amazed that I'm still around and kicking and doing so well four months later. I can't tell you how HAPPY I am that they didn't tell me that initially. Just the diagnosis alone is shock and horror enough but to be given an actual death date is just plain wrong! I'll be thinking of you and hoping, wishing and praying things will go well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 OhioKat, Your message about the young man was so moving. You wrote about him so vividly that I almost feel like I've met him, myself. I will pray that he's another of those who prove the doctors wrong.... will pray that during the time he has left, he has a wonderful time and makes many happy memories with his family ... and that during this time, researchers will find something to help this prognosis be all wrong. I'm sorry you have to have more chemo after all -- but glad your doctor seems to be taking the most aggressive approach! You're in my prayers, too. BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 OhioKat, I'm so sorry you have to have more chemo. Hang on! That's easy for me to say, isn't it? I'm not the one that has to go through it, but I do care and have no idea how you must feel about all this. I will pray for you and for good results for your scans next week. I hope you will be able to relax and enjoy your weekend. God loves you, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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