Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Just FYI, I'm too exhausted to explain well. I lost the hours between about 7 p.m. last night and 6:30 this morning. Suddenly I looked up from the computer (this morning & I've no idea what I was doing) and decided to get groceries for supper (thinking it was evening). I got up and stumbled back and forth like a drunk. Got in car - can you believe I was so out of it - I didn't put on my wig!!!!! Perspective was complete gone. Headlights on either side seemed to criss cross rather than be pararel. Sideswiped one of our county's perrenial barricades, flattened tire, stopped at 7-11, explained something was wrong with me, they called paramedics. This time paramedics did take me in themselves which is highly unusual - only cardiac and strokes. Maybe it was when I kept tell them it was night and they said it was morning. Coming home I found my bed not slept in and my toothpaste not out (this is incredible) Talked to my onc. Did another brain scan. they made mistake, didn't do contrast so was there for another five hours waiting for repeat CT. Local hospital is doing a third biopsy on cells they already have - using their money. The onc wants me to have a fourth physical biopsy. His reasoning. It appears to be NSC so they would need surgery if it was alive but he believes it might all be necrotic. No one could figure what happened this morning/last night. No, I don't do drugs or liquor. The onc said I was under so much stress and having no one to talk to about it - maybe it was a stress blackout - like a mini breakdown. If it wasn't for all of you, it would have been a complete breakdown but I'm home and chasing my dog. Okay, scratch that last - I'm too tired to chase the little brat. I am soooooooo tired. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Ummm well if you were a Dean Koontz fan you'd think you had a fugue (temporary amnesia) they happen all the time in his novels. Maybe you did. Sorry to hear about your lost time Cat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 You know I remember reading about that happening to someone else here, I cant remember who it was though.. That must be a bit scary for you especially being alone..I hope they get to the bottom of it for you. Are you feeling okay other than not remembering those hours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Please try to get some rest. You have been through so much. Keep us posted. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 I hope you don't see this reply for about 24hrs or so ... because your sleeping! Stess plus sleep deprivation can lead to unsual behavior. Also be aware that low blood suger levels and low calcium levels (from not eating due to stress) can be another thing that might cause confusion and black outs. The message here is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! Eat, sleep, and take some time out from thinking about all this. Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Cat, Please, please take care of yourself. Is there anyone that can check on you ocassionally? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Yes, Cat - please be careful! I hope the docs figure out what happened..... Hugs and prayers, SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Cat, Please get some rest tonight. Sometimes I think our bodies just go into shutdown mode when they are stressed beyond their ability to cope. This might be what happened to you. You have faced a tremendous amount of stress this past week. We had a traumatic situation with our son when he was about 14. I drove 10 city blocks north after work one night and suddenly didn't know where I was and didn't remember driving there - that was very, very scary. My mind was just in a cloud. Hang in there, kiddo, and get some rest tonight. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Cat, I hope you don't read this until Wed night. You need to be sleeping. Did you ask the doc for some sleep aids and something for anxiety? You have so much on your mind and no one there to scream at or cry with. I hope you are feeling better soon and remember we are all thinking about you and wishing you the best. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Cat, I hope you are getting needed rest. I sure don't know what happened, but it's good you did get to see your onc and get the ball rolling on what to do next. Things happen for a reason. I missed seeing you post earlier today and wondered about you. Glad to hear you are home. Pls let me know if I can do anything to help. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Cat, Oh my goodness...that is very scary. Do take care of yourself and stay safe. You need nourishment, rest and a big break from this stress. Thinking of you, Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Yikes, Cat! I hope the dr. can find an answer for you. Please take care of yourself and get some sleep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Cat, No one should be alone and have to deal with all of this. Come and live with me and I will take care of you!! I mean that!! God bless you, Jane PS I will be waiting to hear from you!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Jane, That's exceptionally kind of you. I wish I had something other than HMO so I wouldn't have to stay in this area to get care and could take your beautiful offer. I called my onc to tell them I don't think I can force myself to go for a 4th biopsy tomorrow. Since they found out the biopsy they did was wrong and the treatment of the 7 months was for the wrong cancer, they've been pressuring me. In my usual timid way, I agreed. But I have no one to take me and the hospital courtesy van is booked already and they won't let me take a cab or drive myself. I asked the onc why a 4th biopsy. First he said if they find cells are necrotic then they don't need to do surgery. Next day, he's pressuring me to get it done sooner. His reason that day was if the cells are necrotic that tells them the treatment they gave me worked. I think it's CYA & I just can't take anymore. For five days, I haven't been unable to sleep or stop crying. I never cried about the cancer before this. I asked them please to wait until my daughter came down 16th, 17th or 18th. I get this 'well you're health options and you already had the blood test and this means we'll have to get another permission from Health Options & do blood tests again.' I say I really don't think I can handle it, that I am very depressed. So now I have to wait until the doctor calls - probably tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I just tried to call his office back and got the answering service. Since the onc knows about the problem & is supposed to call me back, I didn't leave message. Then I called the pre-op nurse. She wasn't in. I called the ambulatory service & told them I wanted to cancel. She says I should call onc. I tell her I did but that I felt I was so extremely depressed that I did not think it would be good for my physical being to have the surgery done tomorrow. She said okay, I had that right and she was going to cx. it and also call the onc. to let him know. I don't understand why I can't stop crying. It's embarrassing. I need groceries but am afraid I'll break down crying while standing in line. It's not that I'm unaware of the goodness in life and the fact that I'm still living. It's like some weird thing that has nothing to do with my rationale mind and over which I have no control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Cat I was just wondering if they ruled out a stroke. I know people that have had strokes and never even knew it. The reason I ask is because I know with many stroke victims one if the side effects is they become very emotional, crying all the time for reasons they would never get emotional over prior to the stroke. It might be something to check into.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Cathy, I've wondered about that too. Around May last year I was hospitalized and the final dx was possible TIA (little stroke). At that time I was having vision problems, dizziness, sweating. When I was brought to the ER (May 2003) I failed the gait test. I forget what it's called. Although later, I wondered if it was the cancer. They didn't do an x-ray or Ct of chest. Also I have a history of a major stroke, bleeding that originated in the vision area. (1975 - clipped aneuryism) Tuesday, besides confusion, I had visual problems and gait problems. At ER they did a CT scan of brain but as far as I know did not r/o stroke. Their final diagnose was temporary confusion, etiology unknown. It's scary. I really think I was right in cancelling the 4th biopsy. Something just doesn't compute - something's askew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Cat - I am so sorry to hear about your episode - Must be really a frightening thing. I will tell you that a friend of mine had the same thing happen to her - she is a healthy 50 year old woman.... was fine at 6:00am and remembers nothing until around 5:00pm that night. They ran all kinds of tests.... admitted her to the hospital.... she had short term memory loss for a few days, then everything cleared up. That was about a year ago, and they could never figure out what it was so they said it was stress induced. She has been FINE ever since. I hope that gives you some peace of mind. Stress can play havoc on ones mind and body. I wish there was more I could do for you. Love Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Dear Cat, I thought about you all day today. When is your daughter coming and for how long? do you live far away from eachother? I cant imagine going through the illness and stress you are going through. If there is ever any change and you can move , I would care for you in a heart beat!! My prayers and thoughts are always with you. God bless you, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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