Angie Daughter of Bill Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Some of you please help me with this one. About six weeks ago, Dad started having really bad coughing "spells". I insisted that he go to his family dr. Well, sure enough, he had a pretty bad case of bronchitis. For the last four days, he is doing the same thing.......coughing like crazy, not sleeping at night because of the coughing, wheezing.......in general, not feeling well. I am CERTAIN that he has bronchitis again. (or maybe pnuemonia by now) I have tried for four days to get him to let me call his dr. Nooooooooooo, he doesn't want me to. He says that he has an appointment on Thursday of next week with his oncologist and we can "mention" it then. I think that is too long to wait. My Dad just doesn't take a "change in symptoms" seriously at all. I probably take them too seriously. I have been staying awake most every night listening to him breath and cough. At times, it is really scary. I might also mention that my Dad has not left the house for more than 15 minutes for the last four days. He normally stays out most all day. It is so frustrating. He doesn't want to "bother" the doctor on a Friday. Well, what about Tues., Wed., and Thurs.?? I try so hard to take good care of my Dad, but it is hard to do when he is so stubborn. I know I sound like I am talking about a child......I do not disrespect my Dad in any way. (I hope I am not coming across that way) At what point should I absolutely insist that he go get checked out?? And, how do I convince him to take a change in his symptoms seriously? I'm afraid that he is going to end up in the hospital before the weekend is over. Thanks! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Angie, I don't know how old your dad is, but most of us from about 50 and over were brought up that you just don't bother the doctors unless it's an emergency. I had, and still have, that problem with my dad (age 76). Last winter he was having signs of pneumonia and wouldn't call the doctor because he said "the doctor had more important things to worry about". He kept wanting to "wait until tomorrow" or "wait and see how the weekend goes". I finally just told him that he couldn't wait because he could have pneumonia and if he let it get too far out of hand, he would die. I just flat told him that. He said, ok, he would call the next day. He has severe COPD and his pulm doc didn't even make him come in. Gave him a steroid dose pack and anitibiotic over the phone. Every relationship is different, but if you're comfortable to do this with your dad, I would suggest that you just sternly tell him that he has a severe case of bronchitis and maybe even pneumonia and if he doesn't get attention now, he might not make it to Thursday. Sometimes you've just got to get tough and take over. I tried it with my mom, too, when she was living, but it wouldn't work with her. She would just get mad and say leave her alone and that she would call when she was d*** good and ready. They're all different, but hopefully you can push your dad. It sounds like you have a great relationship, so even if he gets mad, he won't stay that way. Love, Peggy P.S. Thanks for the prayers at your church - it means a lot to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 I don't have an answer for you, but instead want to tell you again what a special daughter you are. Your dad is lucky. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Hey Angie, Oh Kiddo, I'm so sorry your having to go through this, and I don't think your "disrespectly" in any way shape or form! Your just a Dear Darlin daughter who love her dad very very much. So having said that, how about saying to dad, Hey dad, this crap can change pages in a HEART BEAT, so would you do ME a favor and at least have it checked out??? PLEASE???? At this stage of the game, begging can't hurt! Beside, doctor's get paid, Monday thru Sunday, at least the last time I checked they did! I'm praying for you my dear, and I'm praying for your dad. Maybe telling him, to be safe then sorry is really the better of the two! Good Luck and keep up posted. Your in my prayers. Hugs, Con Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Shoot, it may be too far into the day for this to help but I agree with Peggy. Tell him that if he lets it go too far that he may die. That's hard to say but I think it needs to be said. If he gets worse over the weekend, tell him that you will take him to ER and do it. Make sure you tell ER up front that he has lung cancer. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Okay, this is what I do.... when Daddy pulls his "I am fine, it can wait CRAP" I CRY.... it works everytime... I get in the car - go to his house and INSIST he go to the doctor and then I CRY until he does.... Maybe blackmail, but it works.... Hope he listens to you - I swear sometimes they don't want to go because they are afraid what the doc will say... so you just have to make him feel like, Dad, I am sure everything will be okay BUT until you go... I won't be able to eat, sleep etc... they usually feel so guilty making their daughter suffer that they cave in!!! Let me know what happens... Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 My father was the same way. I always felt terrible that he felt like he was a "bother" to his doctors. I tried to tell him that is was their JOB. I think sometimes, too, he was just sick and tired of going to the doctor. He did chemo for almost 3 years straight and I don't blame him. Toward the end he had to throw in radiation too, and I think that was the last straw for him. I had some awful arguments with him too sometimes about him taking pain meds the proper way and insisting on certain tests and so forth. I feel really bad about all that now. You can try and talk to him, but my own personal opinion is, if he is getting upset and you can see that he doesn't want to, then let him do it his way. I hope he decides to see the doctor for peace of mind. I wish you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Angie, I agree with what everyone else has said.... get him there any way that you can. Its the only thing thats gonna settle your head. Best of Luck, it dosent seem like an easy task! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 I agree with the others. He needs to get it checked. Let us know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted June 12, 2004 Author Share Posted June 12, 2004 Thank you! Some of you suggested that I do what I had been thinking of. I just want to shake Dad and say, "Look, if we are going to fight this, then we have to give it 100% and let the doctors in on everything that is going on. The doctors can't help if we don't call. If we don't call your doctor, you could end up in the hospital.......or worse." I have not done this yet. It sounded harsh to me, but it's all I could think to do. Of course I couldn't get him to go to the doctor today. If he continues this coughing, etc., we will be making a trip to the emergency room. Five or six hours of waiting to be seen should teach him to call his doctor. Sharyn, I might have to resort to your suggestion..........crying.........it works every time. (Why didn't I think of that???? Dad hates to see me cry.) Thanks..........at least I know that I am not being paranoid and that he does need to get checked out. Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I vote for the crying--it's bound to work. I pray for you and your dad every day, Angie, and today I am praying double. elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Angie. I am one of the over 50 people that dont always want to go to dr. but the coughing is usually always something that really needs checked out.Should get him there somehow/???????? My wife usually nags like hell till I go,& usually turns out good that I went. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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