bart ziggie ( Greg ) Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Hello everyone its been a while since i have been here or posted anything. I have been mired in a big funk in a whole bunch of ways. I have missed this board alot. I no longer have a pc here at home and it may be the single biggest thing i look back on to regret. I have started daily radiation and have completed 11 treatments with 22 to go. I have just completed my fourth round of chemo with 2 rounds to go. Heres whats been happening...... I seem to have somehow gotten down in the dumps and depressed since i havent been around here. I have been experiencing some other things as well. My treatments are going fairly well however i have started to experience alot of side effects that i thought i was somehow immune to having. I have changed nausea meds from compazine to kytril and it has been a wonder drug. I started having alot of nausea and some vomiting before my fourth round of treatments. I also have pain back again. I went over 8 weeks with little to no pain and in the last 3 weeks i have had break thru pain. I talked to radiation oncologist finally about it today and he is at a loss as to what it is cuased by. I am taking percoset for pain and until about 3 weks ago it had totally done the job. It is getting back to not being able to think or communicate because of this constant nagging pain. I have some pleural activity also. Pleurisy i think its called. They put me back on prednisone ( 40 mg) per day. It sure has helped my breathing alot but not the pain. Has anyone else been on percoset and doing good with treatment and all and then all of a sudden developed breakthru pain ? i am taking the 5 mg dose now. I cannnot and dont want to deal with this pain . It seems like i cant even think right. I kinda feel like i am having all these new symptoms and i am retrogressing. Is this all just part of anxiety ? GOD i miss this board ! I really need some input here. I really thought i had a handle on this crap and my emotions but i fear it is wearing on me badly. This along with all the other everyday things we all deal with. I will be visiting the local library to keep up with the board from now on. I feel like crap for not being here and talking with everyone. Am i overreacting to all this ? I am so frusterated with everything ! My financial situation thru work offers me very little short term disability and i have had one heck of a time collecting it regularily. I have gave it alot of thought ot tell my Dr. that i have got to make an attempt to return to work after my radiation and chemo. This would mean we would wait on PCI has anyone delayed getting PCI ? I really feel like the weight of the world is sitting on me. I never thought id picture myself ramling on like this. I have always been the " tough guy " this just isnt the case now. God Bless and ill see you alll soon. Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Dear Bartziggie, Just today i was wondering where you were. i'm very concerned reading your post - you and i have very similar background with sclc - you're having the exact same treatments i had. As far as pain goes, during my treatments my dr. had me on oxycontin which is a very strong pain reliever, time released in the system (it's a small pill) and it really helped me alot with pain. It does make you feel kinda "out of it" but it did control the pain in my back. I had that because nerves in my spine are being pressed on by the scar tissue left from the tumor. Eventually, i weaned myself off it, and now i take 5 mg. Percocet, like you. It is pretty good in controlling the pain. Maybe your dr. would try oxycontin? For the nausea i was on Anzimet at first, then Zofran during the time i was actually receiving chem. They controlled nausea well for me. This board is wonderful for support, which you need now. If you're able to get to the computer, we're here for you. Don't give up hope, BZ, soon these treatments will be over and you'll start to feel better. Joanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kentwisc Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Hey Bart; Sent you an e-mail, so check for it. Hope we can talk sometime. Later, Kentwisc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Greg - What happened to your computer at home? I'm sorry you're feeling so down in the dumps............it's all just catching up to you. Did you see Don Woods' comment the other day? "CHEMO - the hell you have to live through to get rid of the hell you have." Awww - I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better.......... Hugs and prayers, SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Greg, your feelings are normal, with all you are dealing with. Sounds like you feel pretty overwhelmed. I do, too, from time to time and I'm just the caregiver. My wife feels overwhelmed all the time, just about. I hope you find meds that will do the job for you, and wish you well on your treatments. Glad you're back, and plugging into some of the caring, support and info here. Blessings. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdaW Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Dear Bart, This is one place where you can come and just be yourself--we like you just the way you are--no need to be the tough guy here. I want you to know that it is very normal to feel overwhelmed by all that's going on in your life. Do you have a friend that you can talk to? I too feel overwhelmed by my cancer at times, and my husband has helped me so much through my low days. I hope you don't have to put off your PCI in order to return to work. I hope you are in a position to take care of your health, get some R&R and then return to work, but I know that may not be possible for you. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. Ada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lenr8 Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 I know things are tough and I wouldn't know what to do without this board. Please talk to your dr about an antidepressant. It may help alot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 BZ Just a note to tell you I will be praying for you and am thinking of you. Please stay with us...I know it must be hard getting to the library on top of everything else when you don't feel well. Keep inquiring about meds for the pain...there must be something that will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Greg, I am so sorry to hear about the funk. Like the other posts have said maybe some stronger pain pills will help out with the pain. Hope I am not being too nosey but has your doc prescribed any antidepressants. Mine started me on Paxil as soon as I was diagnosed and it really does help to smooth things out. If I remember correctrly prednisonee can do some wacky things to your mind also. All that combined with the chemo funk can be over wealming. Hang in there buddy, we are all here for you and thank God for public Libraries computers. Keep the faith buddy, you can do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny G. Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Greg, I can so much relate to how you're feeling. We started this journey at the same time and I started out thinking I was handling things so well. I'm sure the anti-depressents helped with that, but then the depression takes over and it's so dark and heavy. It really wears on you and then to have to worry about financial matters on top of everything else is just too much. I have had computer problems too and had to be without it for days at a time. Having this connection here is one of the few things that has helped keep me sane. I would insist on pain relief, there is something they can give you to help. I've been taking the percoset, but think I am building up a tolerance. Fortunately, my pain hasn't been bad. Can you push them to look into what is causing your pain? Hopefully, the radiation will help to relieve symptoms too. Your health has to come first and although I have continued to work it is hard to concentrate and be there, I can't imagine doing anything very physical. You really need to rest right now and let the treatments do their job. Having chemo and radiation at the same time is a lot to deal with, but it will get better. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad my friend. We can only hope it will pay off in the end and continue taking one day at a time. We're all here with you. Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candy Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Bart Sorry to hear your feeling bad. But, YES, Hugh was on percoset for back pain and it worked very well for quite a while and all of a sudden (of course on a weekend) it just stopped working. The mets in his back were looking better but he suddenly began to get the pain again. The doctors put him on a very low dose of Oxycontin (20mg/2x/day) and it worked great. He kept the percoset for breakthrough pain and only needed it for a couple days until the oxycontin began working. He is now on 10mg/2x/day and we are trying to decide to go back to the percoset for occasional pain or stay as is. The pain was so bad that we tend to be nervous about changing anything. What's up with your computer? I know what you mean about needing this board. It sure helps and it has to be tough to get out to the library when your feeling lousy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 BZ, I can only attest to myself as a caregiver and how unbearably overwhelmed with depression I feel watching my mom go through this hell. Then today when I went to her house for our morning check in she too was soooo very down in the dumps. I could not get her to tell me what was wrong. All she kept saying was "its just a down day" I can't imagine the weight on the cancer patients life. The fear, pain, treatment, treatment side effects, nausea, discomfort, fatige, all of it. You and every other person on here who has the actual cancer are stronger than ANY of us caregivers because your getting through it. Were just on the sidelines. Moms onc. told her that after about 2 weeks of radiation the full weight of side effects hits and then it takes about 6 months for things to come back to normal. Are you on steroids for the radiation side effects??? If not you may want to ask about getting on some. They help relieve pain due to fluid build up around the tumor site. It gives energy, be it false energy but energy nontheless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deanna M. Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Bart, You are in my thoughts and prayers, I really hope you start feeling better soon. (((((HUGS)))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosanne Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 I know what you mean about missing this place. I've been having computer problems on and off for a couple of weeks. I can't believe how many new people there are. Saying prayers that you get some relief. Definetly ask the doc for antidepressents. Also get Xanax for the real bad days. Rosanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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