Remembering Dave

Addie - this is Karen, typing for Dave - I read your question to him. He said that his chemo nurses pretty much say that sort of thing every and every time they give him chemo. They've never mentioned shortness of breath specifically but say if he feels weird in any way including shortness of breath to let them know. He had your same cocktail last year - carbo and VP-16 (etoposide) and never had any shortness of breath with it. After his fifth round (he had six total) his blood counts dropped low enough that he had a transfusion but even with that he didn't feel that bad. Keep us posted, Karen and Dave

TeeTaa, you are so funny. My attorney friend came back to work and answered my email. She said she's seen this exact thing happen to someone else recently. My take on her take: the agency is interpreting things in a very strict and literal sense and they can do that. Must don't. They're in Fairfax County, Virginia, which is a HUGE urban county - we are in probably the smallest oldest county in Virginia - in fact, our county courthouse is the oldest courthouse in America in continuous operation. Just imagine how dinky the court system is in King Wm. county that they're still using the same, single, tiny courtroom in the same old brick building that has been there since the early 1700's! So my attorney friend suggested I call the county clerk or the county dept. of social services and see what the local interruption of what is required is, then forward that to the agency wench. so once I FEEL like doing that I will. I'm just not up to it today, in fact went to work for exactly two hours today. but am feeling better, thanks to my "black market" cipro, ha! Inlaws should be here by the end of next week. Somehow we're getting though each day, but let me tell you, it is tough caring for a very feisty high spirited almost three year old when both Dave and I feel like we've been hit by a truck! well, thanks for the support. On a side note, we have been corresponding and talking to JustAKid and as long as Dave is up to it we're going to go meet her tomorrow. She said she felt like the only person in Richmond, Virginia (home of Philip Morris USA by the way) with lung cancer and I can tell you that we feel the same way. But she met another person locally with lung cancer so we're all going to try to start a support group. The funny thing is, all three of them work in the mortgage industry. In fact, she and Dave know some of the same people. Best to everyone, Karen

Tina, I want to make sure you don't think I think you're whining. I don't at all. Trust me, I'm struggling, too. But think positively . . . it really helps. But whine all you need to. I do all the time. Best, Karen C.

AMY, this is Karen C. that would be non small cell lung cancer. Small cell is almost never operable and spreads alot faster, but also seems to respond better to chemo and radiation. There is no substitute for being there whenever a doctor is present. I go with my husband too all appts. I don't necessarily go to every chemo but I go to every appt. there is nothing like hearing it first hand and being able to ask the doctor questions. Try to go to the appts., it's more important that work . . . they're probably doing a stress test to see if his heart will hold up to surgery. that's good. A pet scan to see if they find any hot spots anywhere else where the cancer may have spread. it sounds like they're on the right track to me, but try to be there if you can, knowledge is very empowering. Hang in there, you're doing great. God Bless, Karen C.

Please don't think like that. Relish every day. And think, OK, we made it to this anniversary, we'll make it to the next one . . . OK? It's tough I know. Don't I know . . . God Bless, Karen C.

AMEN SISTER! Karen C.

You have deffinitely been blessed. What a horid experience. David C

Darn it all. Im so sorry. Karen C.

Ok, ya'll, I think I know at least part of the reason I've been so down. I'm sick! I have a bladder infection . . . no wonder. Once I figured it out I started taking Cipro, Dave has a bottle of it left over from something. one day of it and things are better, I talked to a nurse at our family doctor's office today and she said Cipro is generally prescribed for bladder infections, so I promised her in exchange for that information I would come see the doctor if I didn't think things were improving. Dave is knocked off his butt from the chemo, mostly the cisplatin. poor guy. I took him to Massey (our big cancer hospital) this morning for planning session for his bonkitis radiation and then stayed home with him. I wish I would stay home with him every day. Karen

Exactly right...........holy shi_ . . . what a ride!" David C

Andrea, makes sense to me! I don't think you should be embarassed and you know I work with lawyers, too! Karen C.

Don, Beautiful tribute to your Mom. I wish I'd known her, she sounds like alot of fun. God Bless a great son, Karen C.

A toast to a beautiful couple. Your love will live forever. Karen, Dave and Faith

Ginny, when I say I think about you constantly I am not kidding. I came to General today looking for your daily update. I am heartbroken for you. Again, I will say as someone already has, you and Earl have been a real inspiration to me about what a real marriage is all about. Deepest sympathies from the Chapmans Love, Karen and Dave and Faith

Carleen - I think of you often and am glad you posted. Your feelings are certainly normal and expected. Hang in there. I know it's hard for me to keep my chin up when Dave is down - he is the one who keeps me up, seems like it should be the other way around, doesn't it? I wish for the best for Keith in NO and please keep us posted as you can. Your hotel down there or even the hospital may have a business center where you can borrow a computer or rent time on one. God Bless, Karen C.

Justakid - just sent you a PM. Am excited to meet you I hope. Karen C. (p.s. I'm not the one with the disease, my husband is, but I confuse everyone by using his sign on).

Paige, so sorry to hear you lost your Mom. Moms are our best friends. God Bless, Karen C.

Andrea - Mom is doing OK, she's recovering from the colon surgery nicely, but has to have another major surgery on August 30 to remove the part of her liver where the mets was there. then six months of chemo. But as she said, (a) she's not looking forward to it; ( she will be glad to have it behind her; so that © she can live to 95 like her own mother did. Gail - was it you who said I'd be helping others? That's another thing - me - and everyone I know - is stuck in this rat race, working full time and totally absorbed in their own lives. No one has time to help. All our friends are our age of course and work every day and don't have time to help. I betcha I couldn't even find a friend to go to a movie with (like I'd have time, but after Dave's parents get here I plan to treat myself to that every once in a while even if I go alone). I just wish I didn't have to work so I could properly take care of everyone and help others, too. I wish life wasn't like this. It's not worth it. well, the dog is scratching at the door to come in . . . goodnight eveyone, Karen

Hi ya'll. I just sat here and had a little cry. dave wouldn't let anyone drive him to chemo except for me or his parents I think. and I worry about him, he drove in today to see the radiation oncologist, nausous from yesterday's chemo, blurry eyed (I didn't know about that, heard him confess it to the doc today), taking perkosat (sp?). I had 56 hours of leave without pay on my last paycheck so he'll do anything to keep me from missing any more work than I have to. We live 45 minutes out of town in the country, not convenient for anyone to go out and get him and we don't know many folks out there really. but like I said Dave doesn't want anyone driving him, but when his parents are here he would let his Dad take him, he did last year, he enjoyed that buddy time with his dad. so I worry about that until his dad is here. We joined a church a few years ago and was pretty active there, but a few months after Dave's initial diagnoses they just started ignoring us despite my leaving repeated messages for the minister and music minister to call us. so I quit going. Dave had stopped going during his chemo, I got tired of going and being ignored. No one noticed I was gone for months apparently. It's not a real big church either. all of that is a long story. But Faith's daycare teacher's mother has offered up her own minister to help us, told him about us and gave us his number and she would probably rally up some folks to help us out when we really need it. I do feel like I can count on them to help out with Faith and I have twice already in the last few months, one time with no notice. I guess I just got too dependent on my parents who have always been healthy and active and helpful but now my mom is in the fight for her life as well so here I am . . . . Andrea - an attorney I work with, who also has a daughter adopted from China, prepared the papers to the court to file for Faith's readoption, but she's out of town until Thursday and I'm going mad wanting to talk to her. she's done this a gazillion times so I know she did it right. I want her to call the adoption agency lady and straighten her out so I need to wait for that. I sure hope she's not too busy when she gets back. The thing is, this agency has been so so good to us that I was blindsided by this email. I've only had one other interaction with this woman and I remember thinking she had no warmth to her at all. And she's the executive director of the agency - the only person above her is the guy who founded the agency and is President, but he also runs an architectural business. I copied him on all my emails to her but haven't heard from him yet, but at this point I'll wait for Mary Jo. I'm too tired to fight today any more. I'm just in a real funk, I got FMLA approved but am worried about my job, worried about money, feel spread too thin and feel that I'm a disapointment to alot of people. I really don't care what anyone but Dave and Faith think but I wish I had more time for them. well, here I go crying again so I'd better wrap up my pity party break and wade through some more of my stacks of work . . . thanks for the encouragement and ideas everyone. I just need to hold out until Dave's folks get here. Karen

Yeah, Gail, I just gotta hang on until Dave's parents get here. Poor things, their truck broke down in Montana and they are delayed waiting to get it fixed. I know they want to be here as soon as they can. Faith's little teacher at daycare can probably take her home on the day of my Mom's surgery, but she starts back to nursing school that day so I can't be sure of her availability - she won't be teaching that day. And then I worry about Dave getting himself to and from chemo all alone. maybe I can find a friend of his to look after him. but they all work now. used to be all his friends (including Dave) made their living playing music and were pretty much around during the day. now they're all responsible guys with day jobs, darn it all. I feel better already, I just needed to vent. I called BeckyCW yesterday on the way home and cried to her, but I'm feeling down again today, needed a quick fix here Karen

Hi all. I feel bad because I haven't even peeked at this forum in a few weeks, and here I am venting out my problems. I'm just down down down. I feel overwhelmed. Dave had chemo yesterday and was so sick. I'm trying to take care of our feisty little daughter. And work full time. And I filed some papers with the local court to finalize Faith's adoption and now a woman at the adoption agency says she won't sign off on our final homestudy report to the court unless we do a whole new one INCLUDING making us both pass physicals. Long story but she can't do this to us - we passed our final post placement reports 12 months after we got Faith and that is all the court requires. I feel that she is targeting us because of Dave's illness (she made reference to our suitability as parents - HOW DARE HER). We were on vacation last week and now I'm swamped at work. My mom is having surgery in two weeks for her colon cancer, surgery on her liver - MAJOR surgery. Dave's parents are coming but may not be here by then. And I'm totally exhausted and trying to juggle all this. I just don't want any pressure from anyone but feel like I'm getting it from everyone. Did I mention hos tired I am? I'm trying to look in my crystal ball to the future, when all of this is behind us. But it's hard to do right now. Thanks for listening, Karen

The Movie Title--A Trumpet Players Life Me--a cross between Mel Gibson and Maurice Andre My wife--Jennifer Aniston (sorry honey) My Daughter--my daughter (she is a one of a kind) My Father--John Wayne (although I always have thought he looks like Clint Eastwood, John Wayne has always been my hero) I can't think of anyone to play my sisters or my mom . I have never been really into movies like Karen has. David C

Connie, we're on the list and I would love to have an updated list to send cards to folks. we probably got one at one time but now I have no clue where it is. we have gotten cards from many of you folks and it means to much to us and I want to find time to return the favor. Love, Karen

I LOVE DON WOOD'S ANSWER - PERFECT! oK, not sure of the movie, but I want to be Julia Roberts, Dave can be Mel Gibson, and Faith can be Lucy Liu (sp?) of course in about 20 years though, ha! Karen

hey, Ray, us Chapmans (including BeckyCW) have been away in the wilds of Glacier Park so I just saw this post. What's up now? I sure hope they can blast this thing with some RFA. I vote for that. I think Alimta is used for colon cancer? I remember seeing something about it on the local news because it's for colon cancer too and that caught my eye/ear as my mom has colon cancer. please keep us posted. Love, Karen C and Dave and Faith