Remembering Dave

Take a deep breath! You can't be there for your mom and be supportive if you're freaked out! Trust me on this! I think it's good your Aunt is going with her since she's been through chemo. The worst thing is not knowing what to expect. Try not to be so anxious - your mom needs your calm support. as far as her energy level goes, let her do whatever she feels like doing. Dave was on steroids for a while a few weeks ago and was so hyper that he started cleaning out closets, file cabinets, baskets of junk. at first it made me nervous but then I sorta enjoyed it - getting stuff cleaned out! A chemo patient should do as much as they feel like doing, to just sit around is to give in. Maybe you should see a therapist and get some anti-anxiety meds. Better living through chemicals, I say! Karen C.

Listen to your sister - take the pain pills! You can heal better if you are resting, and you can't rest if you feel pain. You'll heal up fast and in a week or two it will all seem like a fuzzy memory. you hang in there and know we're all pulling for you! God Bless, Karen C.

Joni, I just saw this post. The funeral sounds lovely. I know that Robert saw it and loved it and appreciated it. and I bet his misses you as much as you miss him. but you will be together again one day, in God's Kingdom of Heaven. Karen C.

Andrea, happens to me all the time, especially in church. hang in there, girlfriend. Karen C.

Pamela, I don't know what to tell you but to hang in there and pray. Prayer for me helps me find peace, and maybe it can help you with that. I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know what else to say. Reading your post made me feel so sad for you and for your precious Dad. Take care and God Bless, Karen C.

Don, All I can say is, please do not be mad at yourself. You can't always know in advance what the completely perfect this would have been to do at every turn. You did an AWESOME job taking care of your mom. I agree with what Peggy said, God was always there. And He is taking good care of your mother now, taking over for you. I think it's a great idea to leave the house and get an apartment. You certainly need a fresh start. Please stay with us and let us help you heal your wounded heart. God Bless, Karen

Ray - I'm glad you're feeling better but am curious if you tapered off the decadron appropriately, sure hope you didn't go cold turkey. also, why are you taking it? do you still have a brain met? for some reason I thought they were all gone. At least you tolerate decadron OK. It makes Dave a raving lunatic. he swears he'll never take it again. God Bless, Karen C.

crap, I have no idea what to say about that. I guess that sucks - that's the only thing that comes to mind. But I have to agree with what Cat said. You're OK, Fay. There's alot of stupid people out in the world and you must be running into a few of them. God Bless, Karen C.

David - make those plans and kick that cancer's butt, OK? God Bless, Karen C.

To the whole Tbone clan: We are so sorry that Terry passed away. Our hearts ache for you. We have all lost a dear friend. God Bless your wonderful family. The Chapmans

YOU GO GIRL!! What is it with husbands and bossums? I hate the darn things, they just get in the way!!!! Can't wait to see the new photo - I bet you look very pretty with dark hair! Karen C.

Jane, I'll try to get this right: PCI stands for Prophalactic (sp?) Cranial Irradiation. Now, I'm pretty sure SCLC is rarely operated on because it is so fast growing, it would be like chasing ping pong balls around your body, but since it responds to well, generally, to chemo and radiation, they are much more effective at ridding the body of SCLC than surgery. Why PCI for SCLC and not NSCLC? Hmm, I think that's been addressed on this website before. But part of the reason may be the behavior of SCLC - it generally will mets to the brain fairly predictable and because it does respond so well to radiation? Not sure, maybe someone can find the thread again. Karen C.

Dean, You sound like Dave! The way you celebrate! Karen

Dianne, sounds like you've got a great radiation oncologist, to speak to you so openly and honestly about his own personal opinion on the procedure - I also think it's great he's got other patients that are willing to talk to you about this. Dave had PCI last September after successful chemo and radiation to the chest. I won't lie to you, the PCI was harder on him, we believe, then the radiation and chemo which he had simultaneously. He was just starting to feel better after the chemo stuff when he did PCI. It took him another three months to return to work part time and three more months I think to work full time. I think it was mostly fatigue. But he, nor I, regret him doing it. His attitude all along and I agree is to do every treatment possible to get rid of the cancer. Now he's got a recurrence but in his right frontal sinus cavity and surrounding bone, pushing into his brain. But it's not IN his brain. And who knows, if he hadn't had PCI maybe it would be in his brain now, too. I say go for it, but be prepared for months afterwards to be fatigued, etc. Dave also had brain swelling after the very first day of PCI and had to go on decadron (steroid) back then. Steroids make him psycho. So be prepared for that kind of thing, too. But as long as you keep telling yourself you (and your family and friends) can make it through this, you can. Best of luck and keep us posted! Karen C.

Where are you Dean? I sang happy birthday to you in General II. Karen

Andrea - I've posted in Family Members. I was really busy at work yesterday coupled with coming in late and leaving early to look after Dave a little bit. Everyone is well at Chapman Acres. thanks for checking on us - don't worry! Karen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DEAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! Karen C. where are you?

I haven't had time to be on the board for a day or two and have been wondering about T-Bone Terry. We are thinking about you. God Bless, Karen, Dave and Faith

Peg, I wish you the best. I can't even imagine what it feels like now, and you will be missed but we all wish you and your sweet daughter and beautiful life from here on. Take care. God Bless, Karen C.

Just a note to say that all is well again at home. very well, except for Dave being beaten up by the chemo treatment. but the yelling is gone and everyone is getting along just fine. Now I look back and think, hmmm, that was only about a week of psycho-husand, that was a piece of cake, why was I so worried about it? I guess because for two or three days I just didn't think I could take it for one more day. But I have to remind myself that I can and I will. And if it happens again I will try hard to remind myself that I can and I will. Thanks everyone for letting me vent. Sometimes I just don't have anyone to talk to that will understand except for BeckyCW (Dave's sister). My mom understands but I don't want to get her worried unnecessarily while she's also fighting cancer. God Bless us all, Karen

Just a note to say that all is well again at home. very well, except for Dave being beaten up by the chemo treatment. but the yelling is gone and everyone is getting along just fine. Now I look back and think, hmmm, that was only about a week of psycho-husand, that was a piece of cake, why was I so worried about it? I guess because for two or three days I just didn't think I could take it for one more day. But I have to remind myself that I can and I will. And if it happens again I will try hard to remind myself that I can and I will. Thanks everyone for letting me vent. Sometimes I just don't have anyone to talk to that will understand except for BeckyCW (Dave's sister). My mom understands but I don't want to get her worried unnecessarily while she's also fighting cancer. God Bless us all, Karen

Ok, everyone - Dave is off the steroids, he swears it did it the right way and the way the doctor instructed him to . . . he's been on decadron before so I have to trust him on that. But his mood is completely different. He had a chemo on Wednesday which probably has something to do with it as well - but the yelling is gone, the harping on everything I do or say is gone - the total psycho behavior is gone and dear sweet Dave is back. OK, he's not so sweet . . . but actually he's a little sweet today and yesterday so I'd say the change in behavior is drastic. I'm with whoever above just said you'd think they'd find another drug to do what these steroids do. I guess they work so well at their prescribed purpose the medical community doesn't care about the side effects? Dave said he will never take decadron again. I sure hope he doesn't HAVE to make that decision for real. Again, I'll say to you Fay, that I would never hold a permanent grudge against Dave for his steroid induced behavior. I just didn't know how much longer I could take it. I wish your daughter didn't have a grudge about it but she is younger and it's harder to realize that a person just can't help certain things, when you're young and fairly inexperienced in life. Take care everyone, Karen

Don, deepest sympathy from the Chapmans. You were a great son and did your best for her. Take comfort in remembering that and knowing she is now with God and with our family who have already with God. Karen C.

Joni and Alex, have a wonderful trip, the adventure of his first flight will be great, and you'll forget about your fears. check in with us when you return, and God Bless, Karen.

Thanks everyone. I think all is better today. Dave had been gradually decreasing the steroids and he didn't take one yesterday or today. He seems alot better today insofar as steroid-craziness goes, but feeling really bad from yesterday's chemo. I almost stayed home with him. Thanks for letting me vent and all the advice. I think we got through the storm. Joni - know what you mean about whether to take the kid away or not. Faith for the most part seems OK with everything but I hear at daycare she will cry for no reason every now and then (sounds like me). but she's better off in her own bed and house unless things are really bad. In fact, every single day when I pick her up she looks at me hopefully and says "mama, home?" I mean almost begging, she just wants to go home, poor dear. Dave's parents will be here in a couple of weeks and that will really help with everything. Fay: Dave says he's followed the step-down program the doc told him to do to get off the steroids. I thought it was just to reduce the dose, but I'll trust that he got it right - he says he did. Thanks everyone, Karen C.