-Cheryl-

Jay, Glad your O.K.. The chemo is exhausting. I will do another round of 6 treatments in a week and am really dreading it. All I could do was sleep straight for a couple of days after getiing the marathon chemo Cisplatin. Jack would come in the room to turn me every few hours and take my temperature. I wouldn't even wake up when he did this! Ha! Normally I am an insomniac. You will get you energy back soon. Hang in there! Cheryl

Dear Friends, I have had such a rough week emotionally. Last week I was too tired from the chemo to concentrate on anything, much less my own demise. This week...I have been thinking a lot about death. I do believe in an after life, but think the earth is such a grand place I am not ready to leave yet! This planet is so awesome, what must Heaven be like? Why are we here....to learn something apparantly. When we die and live for eternity, do we still learn stuff? The things that bother me most about my death are: * Will I suffer? * I share everything with my husband, but I can't share this with him....So, will I be alone when I pass between worlds? * Your supposed to love the Lord more than wordlly things....How do you let go of those things and peope that bind you to the earth, and will they see you again in Heaven? Some days, when in pain, I think to myself...I do not know if I am strong enough to endure this. It would be easier for everyone and me if I just go ahead and die. I sure wish I could ascend into heaven instead of going trough death,,,but wo am I? Christ had to die and suffered for you! But then I think,,,,I am just not ready yet. I have things I want to do, but will I feel physically like doing them? I wish I had some control over something, but cancer takes that from you. How do you plan for the future with cancer? I live day to day....but need to plan a little before it hits me in the face. The tears have been just flowing all week like a faucet. It happens just anywhere and any place. Just like some involuntary bodily funtion that leaves you embarrassed and ashamed. Meanwhile..I keep telling everyone that "I am O.K.", but apparantly my my emotions aren't on the same page. I know that we all will die, but the reality of it has hit me prtty hard this week, and made me quite sad. Cheryl

Ginny, Very good advice for all of us to follow... Nice job of detecting the mistake and glad to see Earl is responding well! Cheryl

Hello everyone, I am midway through 25 treatments of radiation, and have developed a strange pain (dull throbbing headache) on the top of my head (center/ right hemisphere.) Within seconds after I swallow certain foods, it comes on quickly, then disappears. Kind of like when you drink something cold, really fast. It is ocurring frequently now, almost everytime that I eat anyting except maybe pudding. Plus a burning in my mid chest, and nausea. I expected the nausea and burning, but not the strange ache in my head. Has anyone ever experienced this? Could the nerves in my esophagus be causing this pain all the way to my head...sometimes it also ocurrs in the base of my neck (right side.) I had a brain MRI about a month ago, and am in the "empty head club!" Cheryl

Way to go David... happy anniversary! We wil be looking for more to come! Cheryl

Hi Gail, I am taking celebrex because I requested it from my onc. After researching this drug, I learned that the drug inhibits new tumor growth. My radiation onc said that it has a "synergetic effect" especially with radiation. My chemo onc is the one who prescribes my meds. Don't take any other analgesics with celebrex. This medicine can also cause some kidney or liver problems....as does some chemos, so be careful and stay hydrated. I have to eat something before taking it which is hard to do when feeling nauseated on the chemo, it isn't easy on the stomach. Cheryl

My Dear sweet Shellie and Jay, How I can relate to the both of you. I spent years being angry at God. I thought"how could he dare take one parent, the two weels later take the other to cancer aso!" I then spiraled out of control myself for a few years. anger is something that you need to hang on to right now, don't let anyone take it away from you till your ready! Just a few simple rules about anger though....1. Don't unleash it onto those undeserving 2. Don't hurt yourself with it 3. Remember that God didn't do this to you or your mom. Bad things happen to good people in this weird Universe.God is speaking to us , but we don't always hear him. I am sorry .... I try never to bring religion into my counseling sessions, but well.... this is not a session. Shellie and Jay you are my friends who I care deeply about. WE all care, and hurt when you hurt. That is our perogative and you don't get to tell us how we feel Ha! Just don't ever give up on "hope or humanity." Cheryl

Hi Kathy, I am not a medical doctor, but Paxil can cause stomach and bowel problems. The usual complaint I get from my clients are feeling anxious on high dosages....but also most are so use to "feeling depressesd" that anything making them feel different is "weird." You should call the doctor due to the possibility of an infection with a due to the high fever! He may have had a reaction to paxil, but you need to talk to a doctor about Tim's symptoms. I a not a pill pusher, but tell Tim not to abandon an anti-depressant too soon. I would definately call your doctor, if not then atleast the pharmacist about drug interactions or reactions. What dossage is Tim on? Cheryl

Thanks Ray, I needed to hear some good news! Glad to hear your boold work is better and that you look forward to chemo. !Ha! With that attitude you will beat this disease!!! Cheryl

Becky, I am praying hard for you and your future! You have worked so very hard to be where you are and have what you have, including your family! Cancer cannot claim that from you!!! You won't let it!!! Keep your Faith! Cheryl

Bess, I agree with you, you should look for a new Onc. Perhaps one with a personality would be nice. Attitude------ "belief in the cure and curer" has everything to do healing and recovery. I took this South American culture class in college years ago that emphasized non-traditional medicines and cures. In otherwards, witchdoctors, Shamenism, and voodoo spells ect.. Ha! The point is, 75% or more of the cure exists in our mind. If you have no faith in this guy, then he won't be able to help you regardless his advanced degrees and high standing.- Beside I would want a doctor that atleast was thinking about the next move instead of "we wait and see!!!" I am with you, wait for what.... the cancer to return! Now, it is true that that you want to give your body a rest cause treatment kills the good along with the bad cells. My doctor said 'we don;t want to kill anymore of the good cells than we have too." PLus you give the body a chance to regain strenght, but didn't you say your body was strong with no counter-effects from the chemo? keep us posted and good luck!. Cheryl

THanks for thinking about me, You all or in my prayers and thoughts daily. ADA! I have been so worried about you! I read Shelly's post about your recovery, and am so gald to hear from you. How are you feeling these days? Tell us more about the trial that you are waiting for! Cheryl

Ada is back!! All of those prayers MUST be working... Great to have you back online! Jack-n-Cheryl †

Hey Guys, Sorry, I have been off the board for a while. I have had a hard time shaking the chemo/ Rad funk! Going to treatments has been about all I can muster the energy to do these past couple of weeks. Jack had been concerned about my sleeping so much, even coming into the room to turn me and take my temperature every few hours. Poor guy, he worries too much. I am lucky to be blessed with him! I have not napped in two days! Staying awake and doing more around the house. My sisters came to visit me today and had me laughing hysterically! I actually hurt from laughing so hard. Anyway, I have a question of medical sorts....If the cancer tumors have shrunk considerably enough should surgery still be a consideration for stage 3A? I mean to really be reassured the cancer will be irradicated or not return? Take care all! Cheryl

ChristyMike, We have only been a been members for 2 months but I can assure you that you have come to the right place. Like yourself, our family has been stricken with this disease and I can only say that there are survivors here of all stages. Know that there are caring understanding and loving folks who are here at your disposal for just about anything concerning lung cancer... from Drs. to Plumbers, from all walks of life. Sorry you have to be here but we are here when you need us. Only God decides! Jack and Cheryl

Kudos to you David... Determination has a lot to do with recovery and I think you are definately on the the right track. Glad to see the counts go up and hope they stay that way. We'll be thinking of you on the 28th! Does anyone know of any tricks to making one get up and going? Cheryl just finished round one (8 days) of Chemo and is on her 8th day of 25 radiation treatments. She will do the last round of Cisplatin-V-16 in three weeks. The last few days she has been very lethargic... sleeps most of the time. I try to get her to feed the horses or go for walks... she just doesn't have the energy. What made you get out more Dave? -Jack-

Dave, I guess those drugs can really fluctuate your BP... Now I know why they check it constantly. Great to hear you sounding so confident... I guess a little back pay don't hurt none either! Hang in there! -Jack-

More prayers coming your way from Texas... Thinking of you both. Jack -n- Cheryl

Ada was one of the first ones to reach out to Cheryl. Prayers being sent her way. † Jack -n- Cheryl

Way to go Earl!! You and Ginny enjoy yourselves... you guys deserve it! -Jack-

Joanie, I couldn't have said it better myself... Isn't it a shame! Remember, for every letter of complaint a politician gets from the consumer, they figure 60 more people feel the same way. If everyone from the board wrote in and kept writing in, the numbers would be impressive. -Jack-

The geust who posted the last response has a good idea. Here's President Bush's E- Mail address: president@whitehouse.gov -Jack-

Don, God is GREAT! So gald for your lovely Lucy- and yourself. You two are such special people. I am happy for the good news. God Bless! Cheyl and Jack

I agree with Norme 100% I take my wife to get her treatments. When she recovers, I certainly won't be going around saying that I saved her life. -Jack-

Carleen, Most have been involved w/ this disease much longer than Cheryl and I have... I too, thought that I had to be the "pillar of strength" and to be able to stay positive no matter what comes our way. What I have learned over the past 2 months is that there is no way one can stay positive with all of the bumps in the road. I realize now that it's OK to show that you are scared to your loved one. Heck, I think, if nothing else, it shows your loved one that you are human and that you are going to have those feelings just like he or she does. I am Cheryls greatest advocate, but I am not invincible. We cry together and it seems to give a certain sense of ease that we are both sharing the same fears openly. Don't be afraid or ashamed that you have fears of losing Keith... it is more unnatural and harder on yourself to try to act as if the possibility is not there. Keith needs you by his side to more or less "manage" his recovery, that is what he is counting on and not how well of a job you are doing in keeping him "positive." The ones that have this disease know the seriousness of it and appreciate the caregivers efforts to keep them positive, but I think they are more greatful that they have a loved one who is watching their backs, asking the tough questions to the Doc, scheduling and preparing, and being mentally sound to catch their slack when they are 'worn down." I hope I am not sounding too insensitive, but I do think the caregiver is harder on him/her self than they really should be. My advice is to relate to Keith your fears... he has the same fears as well and certainly won't get upset for you having those thoughts. People with this disease could only hope for a caregiver as devoted as you are. My approach is a little different, and may only work for me, but I have to be realistic to keep my sanity. Only God decides! Jack