Debi

Joni, I am so sorry. I hope that the fact that so many of us are thinking of you and your family helps you in some small way....

Bruce, Fay is most likely right but like she said, call your doctor..get it checked out. I know you had a cough recently that he attributed to allergy..maybe this is too. You just need to drive your butt in to see him. Call him on Monday, pretend your going to Dollywood and get in the car and drive to his office. Just leave the Dolly Parton wig at home......

Nina, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. It's easy to say, well you weren't hurt or anything, you were lucky. However, you never quite get back that innocence that is lost when something like this happens. I understand your feeling of being violated and know that what the sheriff said is most likely true..it won't happen again. The problem is, that it happened at all. I hope that each day you get back a bit of normalcy to your life. Not sure if you already have one but maybe a big dog will make you feel safer??

Amy!! That's okay, last time my 4 year old granddaughter was here she got all upset because the boys had been jumping on the couch when I left the room. She said all indignantly that now she was going to have to straighten the couch christians. I didn't tell her they were cushions.

David, How cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make sure you send pics!!!!!!!

Sharon, I went to my doctor about 6 or 7 months out of surgery because I thought my right side was swollen. He looked at it and said there was nothing to worry about. I STILL think it is swollen; it could be for real or it could just be my imagination. And by the way, I'm still numb, and still uncomfortable at times and STILL can only wear a sports bra. All that said, I do agree with what the others said, it won't hurt to see the surgeon to put your mind at ease.....

David, You need to check your medication...once again you're getting your dreams confused with reality!

Angie, Actually it wasn't Alabama for once!!! It was an "A" state though! Since I now pronounce things as layeft instead of left, have at least once said fixin to and love chicken and dumplins... I am well on my way to becoming a redneck myself. Oh, and my barbeque grill is currently sitting in my front yard.....

Cute!!!

I like these

Okay, I've taken out the state and substituted Redneck so as not to insult anyone. Just insert state of your choice.... Redneck Residency Application Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) > Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check > appropriate box) Age: ____ sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_) Unemployed Spouse's Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet (_)Farm Animal Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___ Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name:_______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you (_)own or (_)rent your double wide? (Check appropriate box) Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard __ Number of vehicles on cement blocks ____ Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ > bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed Model and year of your pickup: ___________194__ Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_)The National Enquirer (_)The Globe > (_)TV Guide (_)Soap Opera Digest ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO ___ How often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)N/A Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)N/A Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_) 2 miles (_)don't know

Ginny.. I don't know what to say except that I am so so sorry....

David, I'm not too good at prayers but I have lots of good wishes for you......and I can cross things real well.... I hope you will feel better soon (((((((((((( David )))))))))))))))))))

I was kind of feeling sorry for myself this weekend because I couldn't make it up to my daughter's for the 4th of July and I really don't have many friends here. The few that I do have are busy celebrating with their families. Fourth of July used to be a big holiday up home, we would have all the neighbors over, have a big cookout and make a whole weekend out of it. My life is so different now, in a strange place without friends and family within a 5 minute drive. Anyway, in the middle of my pity party, I remembered last year when I was a little more than 2 weeks out of surgery. The place where they have the fireworks here is up a hill and you have to park the car and walk. So last year I so wanted to take my son to see them but had to stay home instead, for the first time ever admitting that I had a physical limitation and COULDN'T do it. It was a hard pill to swallow. I had not really cried the entire time but I remember crying that night, faced with the fact that my son couldn't see the fireworks because I wasn't strong enough to walk up a damn hill. So the moral of the story... hell, even though I think my weekend sucks, last year it sucked worse !! At least this year, myself and Eric can navigate the hill and see the fireworks. I think I can find much gratitude in so many things, if only I remember to look....

I know that there are people that have lung cancer that do not smoke, my story does include smoking. I know that smoking contributed to my lung cancer, but it confuses me that I got lung cancer and 9 other smokers didn’t. Why was I #10, what is with me that I ended up with lung cancer? If I didn’t smoke, would I have gotten cancer somewhere else?? Was this cancer gene in my body waiting to settle somewhere that was weakened? OH well..maybe one day we will know. I was the child of an alcoholic, a fearful kid, afraid of everything.. afraid of getting on the bus, of going to school, of coming home from school, what have you. I always wanted to fit in but always felt like the outsider, like I never quite fit anywhere. When I was around 13, I would wait for my mother to leave the house (this was the 60s, sometimes I would have to wait a week she never went anywhere!) and go out on the back porch with one of her Pall Malls that I had stolen from her pack to practice smoking. In my junior high mind, this was the one thing that would help me to fit in, most of the kids smoked- at least the "cool" ones did. The high school even had a Senior Smoking Lounge. I shed a lot of weight during high school, took up drinking, drugs, boys and of course, learned how to smoke properly. I remember one day when I was 15, 2 new found friends and myself sat at one of the outside tables of McDonalds and they taught me how to inhale. The first time the smoke actually hit my lungs I remember coughing my head off, trying to suck in air so I could breathe. Call me crazy, but I think my body was trying to tell me something! I got married at 20, had my daughter at 21 and when I was 25, I entered a rehab for alcohol. EVERYBODY there smoked. In the years after rehab, I attended many an AA room in a church basement filled with so much smoke you could hardly see the speaker at times. And like my friend DavidA, smoking was something that was encouraged to quit down the line maybe but not YET because my immediate killer was alcohol and/or drugs. After all, only 1 out of 38 people stayed sober, not exactly great odds. As it turned out, smoking would be probably the hardest addiction to kick. When I was in my 30s I went to a new doctor for a check up. I was terrified because he took a chest xray and I remember waiting for days for the result. My way of approaching things was normally to stay in a state of denial, if I didn’t HAVE a chest xray, there wouldn’t be anything wrong. Anyway, the xray was clear but I will never forget what he said. He told me that if he had seen just a tiny dot on the xray, it would be lung cancer and I would be gone within 6 months. That was my only dealing with lung cancer before I was diagnosed.. the idea that if I ever had it, it would be fatal. I solved THAT problem by avoiding xrays of course. At 41 I had everything I ever wanted, the material possessions I had so craved in my early single mother days (yes, I divorced my daughter's father after I sobered up!), a great job. I also lived with a psychopath, one in a line of many in my life (that would be a different website ). One day I woke up, couldn’t get in the shower, had no motivation to do anything but sit and stare. I was diagnosed with severe depression and pretty much told by the psychiatrist that I needed to leave all my pretty things if I wanted to get my mind back. After 6 months of the prescription for Prosaic getting stronger and stronger and my depression growing into a total inability to walk outside the house, I somehow found the strength to leave. I left New York because I was terrified of my soon to be ex, and figured if anytime a fresh start was needed, it was then. So once again in my life, I had to start over. It was difficult to walk away from everything I had worked so hard for, more difficult to learn the humility of having nothing again. Well, here I am in Oklahoma, 6 years later with a 5 year old silly son and lung cancer. I went to my doctor in January of 2003 because I was feeling tired. He took a chest xray for some reason unknown to me and found a shadow on my right upper lobe. I had a CT and a Pet Scan and neither one was conclusive of what I had, other than an 11 mm nodule. They suggested I go back 2 months later and when I did, it had grown. I went to a Pulmonary Specialist I didn’t like who wanted to do a bronchoscopy that I found out later, I didn’t need. I ran from him and fought like hell with my insurance company to get where I wanted to go for treatment. This took full days on the phone and a couple weeks for resolution but I won. I did not come to this life to die from inadequate medical care and I refused to accept no from my insurance company. If I had one thing that I wanted to make sure that people realize, it is don't just take what your insurance company or doctor says as the law. FIGHT IF YOU NEED TO!! I just passed the year mark from my surgery and not smoking. The surgery wasn’t exactly a picnic, but it was doable. They took out my upper lobe, and then my middle lobe not because there was cancer found, but because it wasn’t operating properly once they removed the upper lobe. All my nodes and tissue were clear, it was just the nodule itself which was cancerous. A year later, I still have discomfort on my side and under my right breast but other than that, I am physically okay and mentally I guess I am okay also. I have shared before, there are days sometimes now where I actually forget that I had lung cancer and that it is just a phone call away from being back. This is amazing to me after many sleepless nights and my fear of making long term plans. This board is both a blessing and a curse for me. I always come here and read it, but don’t always find the words to post. On one hand I don’t want the reminders, on the other hand, I can’t not come here, I would feel like I was deserting. I have met so many good people on here and some who I couldn't imagine living my lifetime without meeting. I have had hours of fun with my chat buddies on Tuesdays. Who would think that you would come to a lung cancer board and laugh? Humour has always made life so much easier for me... I guess that's pretty much my story.. I didn't want to just write about my lung cancer because to borrow the words of someone smarter than me, my life has not just been defined by lung cancer... Thank you all for being here to help me feel welcome when I so needed you the most and for continuing to do so every day...

I can't say it any better than Elaine has. Same here...

Ry, I cannot believe that you have resorted to dangling cute Russian, big muscled floor strippers named Igor under my nose to get me to the party. There probably isn't even an Igor. I'll come up there and it will be Bruce in a Dolly wig that he got off Ebay, singing Thank God I'm a Country Boy in a bad Russian accent while David shoots at his feet and Becky sings harmony.

Wooooooo Hooooooooooo Becky!!!

Sandy, I was just thinking of you today and wondering how you were doing.. Everything is still crossed.. will be with you in spirit on Tuesday!!! Best wishes ....

Welcome back Ry!!! Have you counted the silverware yet?? By the way, speaking of Bruce.... He mentioned that Thank God I'm a Country Boy is his favorite song ... I think that merits a HUGE fine, but thought I'd leave it up to you.....

Welcome back Don and Lucie!!!!!!!

Preston, Sorry that you have to be here but welcome..

Rich, I didn't have a broncoscopy as the nodule wasn't in a place where they could do that, but I know lots of people on here have. As far as the fear, I think we can all relate to the dread you are feeling. Just take the steps one at a time and we'll help you walk through it...

Signs You've Grown Up 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. 14. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 15. You no longer take naps from noonto 6 PM. 16. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 17. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." 18. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 19. You read this entire list looking desperately for just one sign that doesn't apply to you, but you can't find a single one to save your sorry old butt.