needhope

I'm so sorry that you are having a difficult time right now. I can relate. It was also my first without my Dad. Like your brother in law, I, my mom, and my sister did something completely different this year. We went on a 7 Day Cruise. It was part avoidance and part needing a break from the difficult year we just had. It was still hard for me at times throughout the trip but I am glad we did it. I don't think I would have been able to handle Thanksgiving at home. Here's to wishing that Christmas is a little easier Rochelle

Teri, I completely understand. Sometimes I wake up and ask myself what the heck just happened. After my father passed, I would have dreams about him and then wake up to discover the horrible truth. It all seems so cruel. And you are absolutely right, it does seem like an eternity somedays and other days like it just happened yesterday. I look at my life and see that I am only 27 and realize that I have so many more years (if blessed to live a long life)without him. It sucks! Rochelle

Remembering my incredible father Jimmy and my wonderful aunt Catherine. Rochelle

Like everyone, I am so shocked to read this. Your husband's story provided all of us with so much inspiration. I pray that God grants you and your family peace through the difficult times ahead. Rochelle

Thanks Teri, I have been looking at grief groups in the area that may be helpful. As well as volunteer opportunities. She loves working with kids. This is not her first major loss; she lost a son before I was born. Thirty years later she is just now starting to talk about him after the passing of my dad. So I think she is making some strides as it relates to dealing with grief. Rochelle

Well, it has been almost 5 months since my dad passed and I am having my good and bad days as I am sure everyone is. It is still hard to believe that it happened and sometimes I have to take out his funeral program to come to terms with the reality. Has anyone else, after the loss of one parent, been increasingly worried about their other parent? I am worried about my mom's health and want her to lead a more healthy life. She has some health problems including hypertension, high cholesterol, obesity, and arthritis. She is also a stomach cancer survivor (9 years-surgically removed). She is not working and hasn't worked in 9 years. My dad was the breadwinner but now that he is gone she doesn't do much all day but lay around (which she had been doing before his illness). She joined a fitness center during the summer but has slowly stopped going.I love my Mom but she is a stubborn woman. How do I get her more proactive about her health and enthusiastic about working out and staying active? Any suggestions? Rochelle

I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. I can definitely relate. May God grant you peace during the difficult days ahead. Rochelle

I am so sorry to read about your husband. When I first joined LCHelp you were one of the first posters to reach out to me. May God give you and your family peace during this difficult time. Rochelle

I'm sorry to hear that your Dad is not doing well. I understand all too well. This is a horrible, horrible, horrible disease. I pray that God grants you and your family peace during the upcoming days. Rochelle

Stories like these are great to hear. I've had similiar things happen to me after my dad crossed over. Knowing he is still with me puts a smile on my face and helps take the sting of him being gone away. Rochelle

I am so sorry to read this. Though I did not know Cheryl, I remember her story being one of the first ones that I read when my Dad was first diagnosed. She was such an inspiration. May God give you peace during this difficult time. Rochelle

Just found out my grandad (dad's dad) has throat and lung cancer. He's 87 yrs old so they are going to just keep him comfortable. So for our family this is number three. My aunt died of colon cancer in Oct. '06, my dad of lung cancer in May 'O7, and now my grandad has inoperable cancer. Rochelle

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. May God grant you peace in the upcoming days and give you strength to forge ahead. Rochelle

I was doing okay today until I was cleanining off my hard drive at work and found some pictures of my Dad that was taken at the last family reunion during Memorial Day Weekend 2006. He passed away on Memorial Day 2007. What a difference a year makes! I became instantly depressed because I realized that in the fall my dad was diagnosed with this horrible disease and our lives were turned upside down. Sigh Rochelle

About a week after my dad passed the doorbell started ringing on its own. My mom said after living in the house for 35 years they have never had that problem. We wrote it off as a shortage. One day it was so loud, almost like someone was just leaning on it. My mom beat the ringer to get it to stop, but it would still ring sometimes on its own. Then the doorbell stopped working all together for a couple of weeks. Two days ago my mom said that the doorbell rung again. I don't know what to make of it. I hope it is my dad. Rochelle

My dad was buried over a month and a half ago. Though I've definitely had my terrible moments since my dad passed, I am a lot stronger than I thought I would be in this situation. I cry some days but not all, which I hope is a sign that I am beginning to heal. So today I went to visit my dad's plot for the first time since his burial and to my dismay I see nothing but dirt. It's like he was buried three days ago I didn't expect his grave to be fully complete but I did think that after over a month and a half, they would atleast have the area sodded. I went to the office to see what the deal was and the maintenance guy said that they had to order some more sod(after a month and a half ). I then discovered that they hadn't even sent the information to the VA for my dad's marker. The woman who assisted with our arrangements was no longer employed there, so they just had the form sitting in a folder incomplete. The VA is already notorious for being slow with the process but now that the cemetery is just now sending in the information, it is going to take even longer. This is my first time having to deal with cemeteries. Question: How long does it usually take for them to sod the plot area? place the marker? Am I overreacting? I want to know before I go back to raise hell . Thanks, Rochelle

I know what you are going through. I lost my dad less than a month ago. I too am left wondering what am I going to do for the next 50 yrs. But whenever I get depressed I just think about my dad's spirit and the legacy he left behind. I ask God to remind me that to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord. I pray that God grants you and your children peace in the difficult days ahead. Sincerely, Rochelle

This Sunday will be my first Father's Day without my dad and I am dreading it. For those who have lost their dad, what are some of the things that you do to cope during this day? Rochelle

I have been reading alot in the past few weeks about After Death Communication. I guess it is one of the things that is helping me cope. I like hearing stories like yours because it just reaffirms that there is life after death and that our loved ones are still with us in spirit! Rochelle

On Memorial Day, my wonderful, extraordinary father went peacefully to the other side. He had been in ICU for a little over a month and after developing ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) and infection after infection, God finally said enough. We had his funeral on Friday. It was a beautiful service. He would have been pleased with the overwhelming support we received. Now my family and I must learn how to cope with life without him. I miss him terribly already. I am only 27. Unless I am called Home early, I have many more years to live without him. Thanks everyone for your support. This community has been a godsend. Sincerely, Rochelle

Hello Everyone, My dad is still in ICU after a month. We just met with his oncologist and critical care team and they said in so many words that he was going to die. A month ago, we brought him to the emergency room because of the shortness of breath. The oncologist believes that his cancer is causing interstitial fluid to build up that it can't escape his lungs, thus causing them to stiffen and not work anymore. He has nodules throughout his lungs and apparently it is trapping the fluid. He is currently on 95% oxygen using a ventilator. His oxygen saturation levels are around 95-96%. The doctor asked did we want to take him off the ventilator. We said no but if his heart stops he will not be rescusitated (sp?). So now we are on the wait and see road, praying for a miracle. Question: Is there a procedure to get rid of interstitial fluid?I know there is one for pleural fluid but the oncologist and pulmunologist said there was absolutely nothing we can do for this type of fluid build-up. Therefore, I am desperately trying to find out who may know something so that I can save my Dad. While reading the old messages I did see that a rare side effect of Tarceva, which was what he was on, could be Interstitial Lung Disease. Don't know if this has anything to do with dad's case. If you have any information that may be of some help, please let me know. We are running out of time. Thanks a million! Sincerely, Rochelle

Please lift my dad up in prayer. He is very ill right now. His lungs are really sick. He is on a ventilator being given maximum oxygen and is still only breathing 77%. The doctor isn't giving us much hope . But I know that through Christ all things are possible. Please pray for him. Sincerely, Rochelle

Now we are in a difficult position . They need to get my dad off the ventilator so that they can proceed with treatment. They put him back on the ventilator after some breathing difficulties and sedated him to calm him down. Everytime the sedation wore off, he would get agitated again, causing his oxygen level to go down and his heart rate to go up. He was sedated for 11 days. The doctor said that the sedation wouldn't bother him and would be the best thing for him at this point so that he would have time to rest and his lungs would heal. Well, they took him off the sedation fully yesterday and he didn't wake up. The doctors said that since he had been sedated for so long it would take awhile to wear off and that if he did not wake up in 24 hours they would then be concerned. After about 4 hours, the sedatives were wearing off but he began getting agitated again, breathing harder, etc. so they put him back on so we didn't get a chance to see if he would fully come back to consciousness (sp?). He is on fenatyl(sp?) So they are trying it again today. The pulmonary doctor on the critical care team discussed using different medications to sedate him that would calm him down but would be more mild. Has anyone heard of twilight sedation or know of any other meds that would give my dad a soothing effect without knocking him out? I am really concerned at this point about his mental state after using these drugs. Plus, we need to act quickly so that he can start treatment again. Thanks, Rochelle

Heather, I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time. I am praying that the original oncologist's readings are correct and that the tumor is GONE. Rochelle

Well, My dad is still in ICU after almost three weeks. They put him back on the ventilator because his breathing still wasn't where they wanted it to be. And they also put him on maximum sedation so that he could rest. Throughout the week, everytime the meds wore off he would get agitated and they would have to pump him back up with sedatives. They also started him on Gemzar the first day he was put back on the machine. He has been on the ventilator a week now and he is still under sedation. His oxygen level is fine, fluctuating between 94% and 98% but he has been having fevers off and on since restarting chemo. His temp got up to 104 on yesterday and they had to put a cooling blanket on him. After coming back from out of town yesterday I noticed that his face looked kinda hollow and sunken in like he is losing a lot of weight. I feel like once we get one thing under control something else pops up. It didn't help when yesterday the nurse said that with the chemo, "it is more likely that he will get sicker before he gets better." I just needed to vent because you all are the only ones who would understand. Rochelle