rinksgal

Darrell and I went to get his 3rd shot of aranesp shot today that is suppose to bring up his red blood cells count. They did blood work and his wbc is 0.7 his rbc 2.11, hemoglobin is 7.4 platelets 97 and his abs nutrophil is 0.20 They say he is at high risk of infections.. not to go anywhere around people without a mask, etc..... They gave him another shot of aranesp (which is like procrit) and tomorrow he has to get 2 units of blood... No wonder he hasn't been off the couch for 1 1/2 weeks....no energy at all.. I am so worried about him... What Chemo does to our loved ones suck! They practically kill them to get rid of Cancer!!! Damn I hate that word more every day!!!I just hope its working!!!!! I hate seeing Darrell so low physically... Christy

Janet, I'm sending you lots of special prayers and good luck!! My thoughts are with you!! Christy

So Sorry to hear about your loss! It sounds like you and Mike had alot of good years together!! My heart breaks everytime I hear of someone else losing their loved one due to this awful disease!! Christy

Great News Norme, I glad you put the doctor on the spot. Don't they know what they do to the patient and caregiver when they give the wrong news out. I mean come on! They need to make sure what they say is correct and not just assume.. I mean poor buddy Went through unnecessary treatment!! But nothing to be none about that now.. Maybe somehow it also helped him..I think Ry is right, doctors are so afraid of being sued that they can't admit they made a mistake. I'd rather hear a doctor say I'm sorry or that they did make a mistake, then to try and blame you saying you misunderstood, or send a nurse back in like they did with us saying I guess they've decided its not mets, when just 2 min. ago they said it was and he left the room..But we second guessed him and he left and read the report and thought opps, but couldn't tell us himself!! Poor nurse had to come and tell us... In my opinion it wasn't her job.. I'll keep praying for more good news for Buddy!! Take Care Norme!! You are really a go getter!! Buddys a very lucky man to have you in his corner!!! Christy

Does anyone feel over whelmed?? I feel so over welmed at times that I think I'm gonna lose my mind! I'm actually seeing my doctor tomorrow due to not being able to sleep, and I've tested my b/p due to feeling so stressed and pains in my chest lately.. my b/p was 183/96heart rate 111, so I went to another store and tested it again and it was 175/117 heart rate 97. I believe it is all brought on my stress of trying to search so hard and to do so much.. I have tons of responsiblity on me.. Not to mention the thought of losing Darrell is killing me inside. I feel like I'm whining but I'm just so stressed over trying to do everything and to stay on top of things for Darrell that I'm getting worn down myself, I too worry that if things are missed it could cost him his life....I"m already on meds for depression... they've even increased it 3 weeks ago, but I seem to be getting worse, not better. I have nightmares every single night just constant...I wake up and I feel as though I'm drugged or something, due to not sleeping well. I wish I had a solution for you. If you figure out how to make it better let me know... I anxious to see what others suggest to you.. Good luck and I hope things get better for you...Christy

well so far my s/o started out with before surgery one lesion, 7mm then he had 4 lesions next pet scan, some were 2 cm + the next scan showed 6 lesions... All reports reccomended mri as follow up, no oncologist did one, and we didn't question anything until the last oncologist visit.. So anyways hes getting a new ct scan on Oct. 27th we will find out results on oct 30, 2003... We asked them about them and anyways if this ct scan shows them still or more or growth they are gonna follow up with pet scan or mri.. not sure at this point... I have always worried about these... they seem not too.. the radiationoncologist said that if we don't get what here pointing at darrells chest that we won't need to worry about the liver and thats how he left it... all reports have said probably cancer due to metastic disease, but last report says probably begnein... I don't trust reports... but it also said not to rule out metastic disease. We told the oncologist we want to know what we are dealing with and if they are cancer we need to know and they need to proceed as they should for liver cancer.Hope this helps some.. also Norme that is on here her husband has 2 lesions which they said was mets and now they did a ultrasound I think and anyways they are not cancer... Ihope we come out with same results but I'm not so sure at this point.. Good luck and hope you have good results... But don't let them just sit on them, there are test to find out what those lesions are... make them do them, insisit on it... Good luck!! I'll be praying for you.. Christy

Darrell also doesn't want to hear a time limit or prognosis at this time... He has 6 lesions on his liver, all reports have reccomended an mri, but none have been none...we asked about this at the last oncology visit.. all reports have said could be due to matastic disease, then the last report says probably begein and are probably hypatic cysts... After next scan they will check his liver and possibly do a pet or mri... We'll see.. I told them we want to know what we are fighting and we wondered why no one has suggested an mri being all reports have reccomended them... I'm tired of doctors playing with our lives and I hate to hear that RFA has a limit, because darrell started out with one lesion and then four and now has six.. guess we'll see what the next scan shows.. if theres more they are gonna find out why... I have had a bad feeling about this all along...the liver that is... I wish you luck and Earl and if you find out anything about the liver and anything new that can be done please let me know, because I'm sooooo very scared that we will be dealing with that before we know it.. I pray not, and pray that we could be as lucky as Norme's Buddy, but his was there from the begining and Darrell keeps getting new ones. To me this isn't a good sign... I wish I had more time to be on here it really helps me and I'm getting so stressed lately.... I HATE CANCER AND WHAT IT DOES TO ALL OF OUR LIVES AND OUR LOVED ONES!!!!!!!!!! I pray for a cure daily!!! Keep us posted!! Christy pm me if you hear of anything new or email me at rinkersgal@allvantage.com thanks

I'll be praying that your treatment works... good luck Christy

I agree that maybe you should send a card or a letter, or offer to help out in some way... We have had so much company and phones that never quit!! I know everyone means well, but there are times that we are just so tired, with him doing treatments, and me doing everything else imaginable! that I don't have much engery left and he doesn't either. He admitted to me once, that your right, all this company is wearing me out. It was really wearing me out, because they'd hang around for hours and then I'd still have tons of stuff to do with us living on a farm and all.. Darrell used to do so much of this stuff. Now I realize how much he did that I could have been helping him with...or at least appreciated it more.. Now I"m doing it all and I'm worn to the bone and so very tired at times... I wish I had some help... People really mean well and I have to remind myself of this very often!! I know and understand the way they feel so often but I'm tired and have so much to do and sometimes it seems like we never have 5 mins. alone together.... I try to be patient, but I'm worn out to be honest... Some days I don't think I can take more... god here I go whining again... I'll let you go, but maybe this gives you another perspective... I know everyone loves him to death.. and most the time he loves the company, more than I do anyways.... he has little family and his friends are his family. but I want time with him too, and I need quiet time too just to get through this...I probably didn't help at all, but hope so... guess I'm just blowing off alot as usual... Christy good luck, card or letter would be best if your not good friends...this way it would also be appreciated!! and you wouldn't be bothering her in anyways, and who knows you might even hear from her.

good luck, I answer so few post, I wish I had more time to answer more post... Hope your test turn out with good results!! Christy

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.. Christy

Dave, I know we'd ALL like to see the cancer gone!! But just like sharyn said 3 years for her dad and no change, which means no growth!! I'd be happy if Darrells cancer could get to that point where his is stable. Sure we rather hear its gone!!!! But right now I'll take stable!! Thats really Good News Dave!!!!!!! Christy

I lost 40 lbs when this first happened to darrell, this past week I think I put 10 back on!!! I was pretty depressed, worry takes it off and depression seems to put it on...for me anyways.... We are all on a roller coaster ride!! It seems when I'm real worry my nerves just seem to make food go straight through me and when I'm depressed I guess I eat more and it sticks around! Christy

Norme, I am so relieved for you and buddy!! It pays to second guess them sometimes!!! Thank God you did and that the radiation oncologist questioned this!! I have hope that maybe Darrells lesions are just that too, "cysts"!! I'll be praying that his lung test turn out good too!! I'll be thinking about you and buddy!! Great News Norme!!! Christy

When my grandpa died, every holiday I would take cards and write letters to him and leave them on his grave. It would somehow make me feel better and closer to him... Maybe some think this is whierd but it helped me!! Christy

I also wish I had the time to read and respond to more post than I do!! I just don't seem to find the time. Darrell has only had one good week that he was full of energy and almost felt good!! Just enough to give him a taste of what he used to feel like!! We are hoping all of this bad feelings will mean good results in the end...We just try to take advantage of his few good times we have!! Hes felt bad since March of 2003, before his dx... and just 3 weeks ago or so he felt good for one week, and then boom he fell hard and couldn't even hardly get off the couch.. but he feeling a little better but sits and sleeps most of his days...Just hang in there!! and just know we all think of everyone on here and CARE!!! Time just isn't always there!! I hear hogs calling my name now (food)!! Good luck! Christy

I'm just now reading this about ada, I've only been on this board for a few months and didn't know her well, but I always liked reading her post. She seemed to give so much to so many. This brought tears to my eyes, I hate this disease!!! She will be missed by many!! Christy

mmm...Darrell also did these 2 chemo's .. They just hydrated an hour before and an hour after the cisplatin...Plus he was told to drink plenty of fluids...after going home.. I didn't know some were actually hospitalized for this...I just found this interesting.. Christy

When they first found Darrells mass in his lung we were told it could be a fungus tumor, I remember we joked about praying for fungus! I'm sure people thought we were nuts! I'm glad you have fungus!! I wish you well! Christy

Darrell just told his oncologist the exact same thing today!!! He's sick of being sick and tired all the time!! But he also in his next breath told the oncologist to hit him with everything they have and then some!! And that he wants to beat this! He said, "Whatever it Takes, I'm willing!" Just keep hanging in there Ray!! I know this is soo very hard for all of you! I feel for each and every one of you having to go through so much!! Good Luck! Christy

I am so sorry for your loss! christy

Prayers to both of you!! Christy

I continue to be amazed at all of the errors that are made out there..I understand people make mistakes and that doctors are human but they are playing with our lives and our loved ones!! This scares me to death, and thats why we have to stay on top of our or our loved ones treatments. We have to know whats going on!! Good Luck to all of you!! Christy

Norme, So far so good!! I'll be praying that the pet scan doesn't show any uptake!! and I'll definatly be praying that Buddy's liver ultra sound shows Cysts!! Hopefully one way or another you will find out whats going on. I mean no matter what, we do want to know what we are fighting! Let me know what you find out and I appreciate you willing to talk to Darrell about getting a mri, I may just take you up on that... I talked to him last night about what you and buddy are going through. Maybe he will push for a mri on his liver... Thanks a million Norme!! I'll be thinking about you and buddy!! Christy

You know Norme Darrells report has also mentioned "radiation fibrosis to lung" and as you know "Hepatic Cysts" I just don't get this...At one point they say probably metastic of the lesions then they say cysts.. Does anyone know anything??? Darrell has also had different test done different places...3 to my knowledge..I have never felt good about his lesions on the liver.. started one lesion, went to four and now 6? but now they say probably not cancer, just hepatic cyst... I wish you well and will be waiting for the results, I might just have to get more persistent with those liver lesions.. The report reccomends an mri but does anyone ever suggest one? Of course not...do they just not care about lc patients, do they think they don't deserve to live? One doctor said well right now it isn't important, because if we don't get whats in your chest the liver doesn't matter. But does that mean ignore it all together? Our last visit the doc said he had mets and then sent his nurse back to tell us he made a mistake, "after he left the room he actually read the report" I'm assuming and found out it said probably not cancer.. Who knows if they know anything.. Good Luck Norme, I'll be watching for a news update!! Christy