Randy, Randy, Randy...I used to think so highly of you...Then you post this....
PLEASE NOTE!!!!! DO NOT waste perfectly drinkable vodka on any of these...Watch and learn...
1.) Want to remove a bandaid painlessly...Drink the vodka till you can't feel anything then take the bandaid off.
2.) Why waste time cleaning caulk around the tub...Drink the vodka and believe me, you'll be lucky to see the tub let alone the dirty caulk.
3.) Clean your eyeglasses???? What for??? The only thing better than beer goggles is vodka goggles...Man she looks hot....that is a girl isn't it? Drink the Vodka, everything will look just perfect.
4.) Clean your razor??? Drunks don't shave.
5.) Spray Vodka on Wine Stains...Why the heck are you drinking wine when you have perfectly good vodka sitting there...Give the wine away at the next party you attend, and drink the vodak...Added bonus...Vodka won't stain the carpet.
6.) Clean your face with Vodka??? Look we all know that you can clean the outside of anything to make it look better...I can put new siding on my house, but it's just hiding the termite damage underneath...Start on the inside and work your way out. Drink excessive amounts of vodka in the sun, or other warm location. Eventually, you will begin to sweat vodka through your pores thereby removing the toxins from the inside out. Wipe the sweated out toxins off with whatever your drunken head lands on at the end of the day.
7.) Add to Shampoo??? See number six for cleansing from the inside out. Same will work on the scalp.
8.) Killing bees and wasps??? Get drunk, and they'll be no need to kill anything...Can't we all just get along?
9.) Ok, I'm alright with number nine, as long as after you ice the ache, you add some lime flavoring and drink the lime vodka slushy....
10.) Drink Vodka, you'll have no aches and pains.
11.) Use it on a washcloth to relieve a fever...See number six for inside out rule.
12.) Foot Odor...Refer to # 6 again for the inside out rule, plus, when you're drunk do you really care what your feet smell like?
13.) See rule six for cleansing from the inside out...Plus, Should your drunk butt really be in the water anyway?
14.) Rule 6 AGAIN...Cleanse from the inside out.
15.) Finally a good idea of how to use vodka!!! Through the teeth and over the gums, look out stomach here the vodka comes....
Man was I bored at work today.