Larry's Wife

(((Bruce))) I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Please extend my condolences to his family and loved ones. Lynn

Lisa, I am sorry that you lost your dad to this horrid disease. It happened so quickly that you hardly had a chance to even wrap your head around the diagnosis before he passed away. That's got to be tough to deal with. I'm sure it put you into a tailspin. But let me say this, with emphasis. YOU ARE NOT DEFECTIVE!!!!! Please, please don't measure your grief by the number of tears you shed. Those tears, honestly, don't have anything to do with the depth of love you felt AND STILL FEEL for your father. I'm sure you have heard about the different stages of grief. Don't get too caught up in that, though, because we each grieve in our own way, and we grieve differently for different loved ones. For instance, I cried every day for two weeks for my dad, who passed away in 2000. But after that two weeks, I never shed another tear for him. But I yearn for him still. For my husband, I hardly cried at all, even though I find I miss him more with each passing day. Perhaps I didn't cry for him for similar reasons as you. We have a son. And he needs my full attention right now. I've never felt like I had the luxury of just letting go and allowing the roiling emotions to bubble up to the surface. I guess what I am trying to say to you is that you shouldn't judge yourself too harshly. Just because you are not grieving in the way you "think you should" doesn't change the fact that you miss your dad and you wish he were still here. If you cannot find peace with your personal grieving process, though, you might consider grief counseling. My son and I both attend counseling. It's not grief counseling, per se, but I've spent many hours talking with my counselor about that very thing. It's helped me immensely. And I try not to be too curious about my son's sessions, but I can see that it has helped him, too. This may be exactly what you need to take the lid off your box.

No need to be sorry. Jim's got an admirable six-pack. I wait with bated breath for next year's "blue fairy". Gotta love Fantasy Fest!!

Ahhh....the promised cool weather has arrived here in Space City USA!! I've got the doors open and am enjoying the cool breeze. Judy, here's hoping you are on the mend. Enjoy the party!! Lynn

Oh, Michelle. I am so sorry to read your news. Your husband was one special man. And I'm sure he counted himself blessed to be married to you--one special lady. Please do not let lung cancer take even more from you by feeling guilty for not being able to save your husband. If love alone could cure cancer, millions upon billions of people would still be alive today. Look at what you have done to fight this beast. You were a most awesome advocate for your husband. Shoot, around here, you're practically a legend--you're a "sticky" for a good reason!! Nobody could aspire to be a better caregiver than you have been. Every single action you took during this journey was for the benefit of your husband--even to the detriment of your own health. You did everything humanly possible to provide the best of care for your husband, even though his physicians were dropping the ball right and left. I honestly believe that without your interventions, it's likely your husband would have passed away months ago. You bought that gift of time with your own blood, sweat and tears. Don't diminish your role in his survival just because he didn't receive the cure he deserved. Michelle, widowhood is a bumpy road. I know because I'm walking it. Please don't make it bumpier by carrying unfounded guilt on your shoulders. Dear Heart, you are in my prayers.

Excellent news!! And didn't your mother tell you that it's nice to share? Glad you decided to play nice. LOL

I am absolutely heartbroken for Sandra's family, friends and loved ones. Even though most of us here knew Sandra only through her written words, she has touched our lives in a most marvelous way. If she could touch us so deeply through a computer screen, I can only imagine how much greater her impact must have been on those who knew her personally. My deepest condolences to all who knew and loved this remarkable woman.

Well, I picked brownies, but that doesn't quite fit me. But if I went for the plate with a bite of each of my favorites, it comes quite close: BROWNIES -- a unique sense of humor, loyal. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- can be counted on in a pinch. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING-- can appear to have a cold exterior but warm on the inside, love to laugh. CARROT CAKE -- likes to laugh, a little quirky at times.

Larry and I were at work- municipal government. They called us all over to watch the TV. Breaking news, the World Trade Center was hit by an airplane. While we were all watching, the second plane hit. Oh.......then we knew.... We were all frozen, watching the TV, when the first tower fell. We continued watching. The second tower fell. The pentagon. Flight 93. We saw it all as we intently watched that screen. I remember such a sense of dread. I remember wanting to go home to gather our family together. But we couldn't go. Because we worked for the government. We had to put our families aside and comfort our citizens.

Oh, Michelle, my heart aches for you. I have been where you are -- and I had help! I read somewhere (perhaps on this site?) that 40% of caregivers predecease the patient. At the time I read it (early on in our journey), I dismissed this statistic as totally ludicrous...and then I walked the walk. Caregiving is the most rewarding, stress-filled, honorable, exhausting, loving job. And it can kill you if you let it. Please, do what you have to do to take care of you. You will be no good to your husband if you fall ill because of exhaustion.

I had two mantras I kept repeating to myself: Before scan: I'm not going to worry until someone tells me I should worry. After scan: It is what it is. I honestly believe that saying these things in my head helped to keep me centered. But I also remember that I needed to keep repeating them to myself -- whenever I started to feel the anxiety bubbling up.

Well, it depends on the temperature, really. I like the feel of satin against my skin. Slick and cool. I like the feel of cotton fleece against my skin. Soft and snuggly.

Yes, folks decide to suspend treatment and remain resolved to their decision. Other folks get physically stronger after a break and decide to try again with another regimen. In our case, Larry decided to forego treatment after he had a crisis and landed in ICU. We actually brought him home on Hospice thinking he had only a few days at most to live. But he rebounded. About a week later, he decided to go back on chemo, albeit a different regimen than he was on when he had his crisis. He enjoyed a good quality of life for another six months before we discovered multiple brain mets, which in his very particular case, could not be treated with the gold standard, whole brain radiation. At that point, even though he was offered another treatment option, he decided not to pursue it. My point in telling you this is just to affirm that the decision to stop treatment can be changed if you so desire. There is no right or wrong. It is very much a personal decision. We will support you and help you in any way possible as you go forward. Lynn

I'd love to say Doc, but alas, I must tell the truth and admit to being Dopey.

My name is Lynn. My husband passed away last year from sclc. Our son is 15. He is known as "Creature Boy", so we have several pets. I have a yorkie. His name is Suburban - big name for a little dog - it's a long story. Nick has a boxer. He's white, so his name is Casper, of course. We have a feral rescue kitten named Lil' Smoky. We should have named him Shredder, though. He gets pretty vicious at times. And last but not least, Nick has an albino red rat snake. It's quite pretty, sort of a peachy/pink color. We live in Space City, USA. I work in ministry. I'm the Finance Director at a Christian school and a Sunday School teacher.

Michelle, I am beyond impressed with your tenacity and ingenuity. I would never have thought to call 911. But I'm going to take your little trick and put it in my back pocket, just in case the need ever arises. You are one awesome lady!! Lynn

The dog barked and the goose landed on him yelling out loudly, "who ate the my last bug ? The Mad hatter, lost his hat so he stuck a paper bag on his head. Just as it began to snow. he jumped up and down singing "This is Thriller"! The cameras rolled while catching Alice B. Toklas dancing the jitterbug with

on his head.

YUCK, YUCK, YUCKY!! But I do like the onions that goes with it. Cheetos

Walter Cronkite & Xaviera Hollander

Steve Martin and Terri Garr

Kathy Najimy and Lawrence Olivier

(O)out of order...could be anything, from the copy machine to the restroom. Makes for a tedious day.

I agree with Kasey, and for the same reasons, too. Having a heart is the most important thing. The ability to love and to be compassionate outweigh smarts and courage.

YUM! yogurt