Larry's Wife

It's a beautiful day here in Space City, USA!! All the windows are open. There's a lovely breeze. The wind chimes are performing a symphony for me!! I've been puttering around the house all morning. I've already accomplished quite a bit.

Deb, my husband did not have that particular regimen, but I just wanted to chime in and say congratulations on the new addition to the family. I'm glad to hear you are all living life!! Lynn

Mike, I'll bite on your question. Let me preface my answer by saying this: I believe that Heaven is so glorious that our paltry human imaginations (as vivid as they can be at times) cannot grasp the reality of what it will look like. Having said that, I think, since we are made in God's image, that earth might also resemble Heaven to a small degree. The landscape will be breathtaking. Think of all the most beautiful scenery you have ever seen and multiply that by, oh, I don't know, at least 100,000. That will be Heaven's landscape. And there will be many mansions there. They are prepared for us. Some people think that there are no animals in Heaven. I disagree. I think all God's creations will be there. But all will be in perfect harmony. Lions will lie down with lambs, etc. I could go on and on, but I think I will stop here.

Well, Nick's there. My mom and I took him out to lunch and then headed over. We met the school principal. They have two boys houses. We met both house fathers. Everybody was gentle but honest with him. Nick and his bags were searched. Then we went into his new home. It's very nice. No more than 6 boys to a house. Two bedrooms-each has a single and a bunk bed. Plenty of closet space and drawers for his stuff. Beautiful view of the lake from the patio doors. They explained quite a few of the rules. Honestly, not too bad, but for an "independent" boy like mine, I'm sure he'll be receiving "discipline" quite frequently at first. Nothing I would object to. Mostly an escalating loss of privileges. The questions he kept asking over and over again were: how long will I be here? Mom, will you take me out of here if I don't like it? The answers he got varied from "it depends on you" to "several months" to "whenever you graduate from the program" (from staff), to "let's just see how it goes" (from me). They let us have some time alone. He didn't want to talk too much, other than the same questions. I told him that I would never intentionally do anything to harm him, and that I thought this would help both of us. He had a tear or two and my voice broke once or twice, but we held it together for the most part. I was invited to call tomorrow to see how he is doing. Plus I'll be there for Parenting Class in the evening. So, we're on our way... ...and my heart is broken and hopeful, both at the same time.

OK, then. How do you feel about kitten cacciatore? just kidding Since Lil Smokey is a bit more mature now, I'll bring him along. He can entertain us between songs.

He is absolutely gorgeous!! Lynn

Thank you all for the encouragement. I'm sure this is going to be a difficult journey for the both of us.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Things look so dark right now. It helps to hear that I am on the right track. Denise, thank you. Your voice of experience rings clear. Of course, I want a miracle, but if Nick benefits from this as Christy did, I'll be grateful. Love you all!! Lynn

Muriel and Randy, I really appreciate the votes of confidence. I'm flying by the seat of my pants right now. And that's not how I'm used to doing things. Including the end days with Larry, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to face. My mom and my church have been super-supportive, but, to be honest, I'm a basket case right now.

Goodness. I don’t even know where to start. My son is troubled. Honestly, he’s been troubled for a long time…and I’ve had blinders on. A few months after Larry was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Nick committed a crime. He entered a diversion program for first time offenders. He seemed to be remorseful, worked hard and graduated from the program. I really thought (hoped) he was “rehabilitated”. Yes, I’ve had problems with him since Larry died. Not wanting to go to school and getting poor grades. I tried to talk to him about it. He never had anything to say. I suggested counseling. He didn’t want to talk to anyone but me. But he wasn’t talking to me, either. The very day I was arranging for a mentor for him, the police came to my workplace to show me a video...he committed another crime. And the police suspect him in a few more, so at this point, I’m not sure what all we are facing here. Of course, I am devastated. And angry. And mortified. And guilt-ridden. And sad. And, and, and... I have obtained a placement for him in a home for troubled youth. It’s Christian-based. Heavy on love and counseling. It’s not a boot camp by any means. Their goal is healing hurts and to put families back together. They offer individual counseling for each of us and we will attend family counseling together. He’ll be there for a year to 18 months. Of course, the judge doesn’t even know what I’ve done yet. I have a letter asking him to assign Nick to their program. They say that they have a good rapport with the judicial system, so I’m praying that it will work out. From my understanding, the judge could order Nick to be held in juvenile detention for as little as 21 days or until he’s 24 years old, if he doesn’t agree to assign him to the program I have selected. But I know in my heart that juvenile detention will not solve our problems. How can I live without my son? He’s all I have! But if I don’t do this, I’ve lost him already. I’m not willing to give up on him and I’m not willing to give up on being a family. This is the last thing I can do for Nick before he is on his own. But is it the right thing? I’m putting all my eggs in this basket and it frightens the hell out of me. I’m scared. Larry would NEVER have agreed to this. But he’s not here and I feel so alone. I know that Nick needs more help than I can provide. But this is just so hard.

Oh, Janette! I don't have the words to express my sorrow. I'll be keeping you, your daughter and your entire family in my prayers. Lynn

Deb, my first thought was that your mom might be depressed. And who wouldn't be, really? Many lung cancer patients take antidepressants. I suggest a talk with the doctor. Also, she may just need some time to wrap her head around this thing. It's a tough pill to swallow, especially if she has read any of the statistics. (Which she shouldn't, if she hasn't already -- those statistics don't mean anything to an individual person!!) You might just play this by ear. If she's not progressing into fight mode, some antidepressants may be just the boost she needs. Prayers for you!! Lynn

Congratulations!! Glad to hear Vivienne is doing fine. That experience had to be beyond the pale!! BTW, Myles' height and weight are the same as my Nick's when he was born. At 15, Nick is tall and lean. I bet Myles will be tall and lean, too. As beautiful as Vivienne is, Myles is destined to be one handsome young man. A total "chick magnet". Don't tell me later that I didn't give you fair warning -- you're going to have to beat the girls off with a stick! Might as well get that stick ready right now. Love you, Sis. Lynn

Amie, I am so sorry that Suki passed away. My condolences to you and your family. Lynn

Happy Birthday, Leslie!! Lynn

I agree that those monk seals are cute, but I've always been partial to a man in uniform. I guess I'll take what I can get, though....

I remember more of those than I would have thought! Carefree times.

I'm a navigator's daughter. And I inherited the genes!! If you can get to me, I'll take over the navigation responsibilities!! In the meantime, follow these directions: North = up South = down East = right West = left If you have to, turn the map upside down. LOL

I am so sorry to hear that your PopPop passed away. My condolences to you and your family. Lynn

I'm ready. Pick me up by the side of US 1. I'll be the lady in bandaids. I'm leaving the little kitty at home. I don't care what Nick says. We have to change his name to Shredder. My right hand is all scratched up and bleeding. You should see this thing attack a bottle! Unfortunately, my hand is attached to it. I'm telling you, he's vicious!!

(((Jenn)) I'm so sorry to hear about your step dad. My condolences to you and your family. Lynn

Sandra, no worries! I've got your back. I'll pack an extra roll of duct tape just in case Bruce goes "squirrely" on us. He can feed my kitty up on the roof rack so Muriel doesn't sneeze. Ann, how do you feel about heading on over to Hawaii to visit Ned? Warm and exotic! The keg bus should fit on the ark for the ocean crossing. It is still sea-worthy, isn't it?

Yes, I'm ready to go. Just give me a holler when you hit the Florida line. I'll be waiting patiently out on US 1. I'll have to bring the little kitty -- sorry Muriel!! He's too young to be left to his own devices. Nick, on the other hand, can fend for himself!

(((Tina))), I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Hugs and prayers for you and your family. Lynn

It's a lovely day here is Space City, USA. I'm doing something new and different -- playing nursemaid to a 3-week old kitten. Cute little thing, but definitely high maintenance!