Melinda

(((JONI))) I am so very sorry and wise that I had words of wisdom to offer... It sounds like you are doing an amazing job of being there for Alex. I hope someone is there to give you a shoulder to cry on, too. Melinda

Charolette, We, too, are unable to find appropriate words given all that you and your family are going through right now. What a horrible shock. Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your brother-in-law and know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Melinda and Geoff

Oh, Karen-- Breathe deeply!!! What GREAT news about your mom! I didn't think anything could top the news that the in-laws had arrived. So glad this did. Melinda

I just gleaned this from the information in Hebbie's link below: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: November 6, 2004 Event: 2nd Annual Lung Cancer Walk and Rally Location: Benet Academy, Maple Avenue, Lisle, IL Summary: Join us for this fantastic event, and help us make strides in the fight against lung cancer. This year, we expect over 250 participants. There will be a 1-mile walk, followed by a celebration and rally! This meaningful event will include ways to honor your loved ones who have fought or are fighting lung cancer!

Thanks, Hebbie-- The Southern NJ event is the same weekend as the Southampton (and Virginia Beach) event--otherwise I'd go to both! Are you going to the NJ one? Melinda

John-- Great to see your post!!! I noticed last night that you'd been MIA for a couple of weeks and was hoping that you were enjoying a WONDERFUL vacation somewhere. Is there any way that you could cut and paste this article for some of us--I can never seem to get into the Washongton Post web site--even after I register, etc. It looks like a "must-read". Thanks--and it's GREAT to see your name popping up on the board again. I felt a little lost without knowing your expertise was simply a PM away. Melinda

(((RAY))) Praying for option 1 --with #2 as a back-up. Please--take a deep breath (seriously!!!)--know we are ALL rooting for you--and KEEP US POSTED!!! Melinda

Oh, Kate-- It is so hard being under all that stress, needing to take care of your husband, the practical household matters, AND feeling like the "bad guy" vis a vis your MIL. It's a wonder you are still standing! She sounds like the MIL in "Everybody Loves Raymond" x10! LOCK THE DOOR!!! I understand that she, too, is terrified and wants to be of help (he is her son, after all)--but she needs to be realistic about what behavior is helpful. Your thought about setting a "regular" visiting hour for her sounds like a good one--also the adding a few groceries to her list (although--be prepared--she may add or delete as she sees fit!). J. sounds too sick to talk some sense into her right now (if that was ever his strong point--it's a tough thing for some guys to tell their mothers "no" or to politely "back off" and respect that they are no longer living with them, with their rules). You must, as everyone above has said, set some boundaries to not only take care of yourself--but to make sure that you are able to take care of BOTH of you right now. As you have made clear--your job is NOT to be taken lightly at this time (not that it should ever be--even if you had a million dollars!). Feel free to make that clear. If they don't get it--that's their problem. This is not play-time. I guess talking to your FIL is out of the question, as he sounds rather frail himself... Just remember--YOU ARE NOT THE BAD GUY HERE. You are doing what needs to be done to take care of your husband in his time of need and make sure that you both still have food to eat and a roof over your heads. My hat is off to you for living up to this task during such a difficult time. Many people (both male and female) have buckled under this kind of pressure. I sincerely hope that you are able to get a little more sleep and that your MIL and various "well-wishers" are able to help, not hinder, your efforts. Please keep us posted--you are in our thoughts. Melinda

Connie-- Thank you for your update--we have all been eagerly awaiting it! Poor little Austin doesn't have a clue how many people have been looking forward to hearing of his progress. I stopped typing there for a moment to sign "Congratulations!". Melinda

Dear Arayden, Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you today... Melinda and Geoff

Thanks, Elaine. Sounds good! Melinda

Thank you, guest! Please note: I have never had any personal experience with the Patient Advocate Foundation--so I can not vouch for the way they operate. I just thought that it might prove to be a valuable resource for research... Melinda

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the money!!!

Boy, My mother would agree!!! After 30 odd years in New York City, she has returned to her roots--North Carolina. And she STILL is unable to get over the fact that she somehow managed to raise two Yankee daughters.

Did you hear the GROAN all the way from New York City?!?! Wow...

I'll wager Geoff doesn't appreciate this one as much as I did. Melinda

Loved it!!! You can't park your car (ANY ol' car) here in NYC for under $20 a DAY. That was one smart broad...

Thanks, Andrea-- You are the one who insprired me to troll the web for fall/Nov. LC events! For those who have not gone to the Activism Forum, these are simply the events I came up with last night (please see what other members may be aware of and/or are helping to organize): There is a Golf Classic in Aberdeen, MD on Oct. 11 There is a Run/Walk in Virginia Beach on Nov. 6th There is a "Weekend Walk" in Southampton, NY (Long Island) Nov. 6 & 7 Geoff and I should be at the one in Southampton as it is in our neck of the woods. I would love to meet other members there! Raising money and awareness for LC, getting to put faces to names (or icons), and taking a brisk walk so I don't get thrown out of the "Chub Club". Sounds okay to me... Back to bed (no pun intended). Melinda

Yet another one: (I'm quoting verbatim from the brochure, below) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Weekend Walk for Lung Cancer Saturday and Sunday, November 6 & 7 In Southampton, with room accommodations at the Southampton Inn. To reserve your spot and receive a starter's packet with information,call CancerCare of Long Island at (516)-364-8130 or e-mail Aimee Catalano at acatalano@cancaercare.org ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm pretty sure that Geoff and I will be there as it is in our neck of the woods. We would love you meet y'all there!

They are yours. Glad you and your mom will be together on Wednesday. Melinda and Geoff

Welcome back! Fingers (toes, etc.) are crossed about Vanderbilt; glad he is feeling better. Melinda

Denise, We are so tremendously sorry that you lost your mom. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help in the days and weeks to come. Melinda and Geoff

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month Lung Cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths in the United States for both men and women. Both current and former smokers have a greater risk of developing lung cancer -- but even people who have never smoked can get the disease. Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center Signs On as a Partner for Lung Cancer Awareness Month The Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center (VICC) is an organizational partner for Lung Cancer Awareness Month, the Alliance for Lung Cancer Advocacy's efforts to build awareness about the leading cause of cancer death in the U.S. for both women and men. The American Cancer Society estimates that 154,900 Americans will die from Lung Cancer in 2002. This is more than breast, prostate and colorectal cancers combined. Vanderbilt-Ingram is one of the leading health institutions partnering with the Alliance for Lung Cancer Advocacy, Support and Education (ALCASE) in their education campaign which culminates in November, Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Approximately 170,000 Americans from all races and socio-economic backgrounds will be diagnosed this year with lung cancer. Among these diagnoses, the most dramatic increase is currently among women and African-American men. Organizations such as Vanderbilt-Ingram are making it possible to reach greater numbers of people with vital information that could help save lives. A major message of the campaign is to build awareness that former smokers always remain at a higher risk for lung cancer than those who never smoked. In fact, more than 50% of lung cancer diagnoses are now found in people who are not current smokers. Many of these people quit smoking 10, 20, or even 30 years ago. Additionally, more than 25,000 U.S. residents who have never smoked will be diagnosed this year with lung cancer. Exposure to asbestos, radon, passive smoke, diesel fuel, or other chemicals can cause the disease. People with lung cancer in their family of origin may also be at a higher risk. ALCASE believes that early detection plays a crucial role in increasing the rate of lung cancer survival. When people are diagnosed with early-stage lung cancer, their chances of five-year survival can be as high as 85%. But because symptoms may be vague or nonexistent in the early stages, most people with lung cancer aren't diagnosed until the disease is in late stage. When symptoms are present, they can include shortness of breath; chronic hoarseness or cough; a recurring lung condition such as asthma, bronchitis, or pneumonia that does not clear up with prescribed medication; back or shoulder pain; sudden weight loss; or coughing up blood. For more information contact: The Alliance for Lung Cancer Advocacy, Support and Education 1-800-298-2436 www.alcase.org

Run for the Lungs (RFL) is a group of dedicated runners committed to raising money for the Alliance for Lung Cancer Advocacy, Support and Education (ALCASE) and to urging increased lung cancer research. The team supports ALCASE's vital programs for people living with or at risk for lung cancer. We also want to create much greater public awareness of lung cancer issues. RFL forms a natural connection: healthy runners using their lungs to full capacity to change the course of lung cancer and show compassion for people facing the disease. You can be part of this unique and important team, running for heroes! The Idea for the Team The idea for the Run for the Lungs team came about from Kevin Manley's desire, in the spring of 1999, to train and run a marathon and his desire to promote more lung cancer research. (See: A message from Kevin Manley.) Behind every great idea, there is an even greater inspiration. Kevin's inspiration was his sister-in-law's determination to fight lung cancer. "I knew I wanted to run a marathon and I also knew I wanted to raise money while doing it. I searched for an organization that had an existing marathon training program. That's when I found ALCASE on the Internet and contacted them about setting up the Team." Kevin Manley. To show what could be done, Kevin sent out donation requests, got media coverage, and even met renowned marathoner Jerry Dunn. By the morning of the Cincinnati marathon (May, 1999), Kevin and his enthusiastic support team had raised an amazing $11,000 and ignited continuing interest in a "Run for the Lungs " team program. Marathons so far San Francisco Chronicle Marathon in 2001 (our first!) Hops Marathon by Tampa Bay in 2001 Houston Marathon 2002 Cincinnati Flying Pig in 2002 Marine Corps Marathon 2003 Contact us for an informational packet. Or, complete our Join the Team form and we'll contact you! YOU choose the full or half-marathon you want, anywhere in the continental U.S., then contact us to join the Team. Even if you're not a marathoner yet, there's still time to train, and to involve your family, friends, and community supporters. Share the wonderful energy that comes from supporting a good cause! By committing to your fundraising minimum goal, you receive: • Team fundraising ideas and letterhead • Training T-shirt and racing singlet • Tips for improving your endurance and running technique • Roundtrip airfare to the Marathon city with paid entry into the Marathon • Hotel accommodations • Team pasta party the night before the Marathon If running 26.2 miles seems too challenging, you can form your own two or four person relay team. Contact us for an informational packet. You'll amaze yourself as you run toward your goal! Volunteer Coach, Jerry Dunn America's "Marathon Man," Jerry Dunn, is Team volunteer Head Coach, and contributes training tips from his vast experience. He ran 200 marathons in the year 2000--at age 55! Jerry is an official spokesperson for RFL as he continues running marathons nationwide. He urges everyone to challenge their limits. Thanks, Jerry! Find out more about Jerry and his achievements at Jerry's web site. Also, check out Jerry's Training Tips on this site.

Medical Update on Non-small Cell Lung Cancer Wednesday November 17 1:30 pm - 2:30 pm Eastern Time A Free Telephone Education Workshop Presented by CancerCare and Women Against Lung Cancer Speakers: Paul A. Bunn, Jr., M.D. Grohne/Stapp Chair in Cancer Reseach, Professor of Medicine and Director, University of Colorado Cancer Center Nasser Hanna, M.D. Asst. Prof. of Medicine, Div. of Oncology, Indiana University Registration required. Register Online or call 1-800-813-4673 to have a registration form mailed to you.