You know, I think my fear is that I may lose it one day and have a breakdown because I have never lost control of my emotions like I do now..He never leaves my thoughts, first thing when I wake up last thing I think of before falling asleep..I feel like I am too old to be acting like a baby..I dont think people around me know because I dont tell them, all except my husband of course.. I usually am not one to share deep feelings, I had a very close cousin that I would talk to almost everyday, I havent talked to her much lately, because she works more hours and seems to be very busy..I feel myself pulling away from people and cant figure that out either..I think I just need to know how some of you feel that way I dont feel like I am going crazy, from reading your responses it has helped to know that you all know exactly what I mean, I never thought I was a "needy" person, but this whole cancer journey sure has proved me wrong.. Thank you all for being there, and caring
Jamie-thank you, the grandkids called my dad papa too, we have them from age 30 to 8 and hopefully my newly married brother has another..
Mo-I worry everyday that I will lose my mom because her heart is broken in pieces, that must have been devasting for you..Hope you are feeling better...
Oh Shelly-My mom gets upset with me because I wont go to the cemetary, they are not there Shelly, thats what I tell my mom, my dad is not there, for me going back there, would put me over the edge..I am so sorry for your pain as well, you have been through so much...
Shirley-I have read many of your post and they have comforted me, especially just looking at Randys picture, that alone makes me smile...
Katie-You know how I feel about you, an angel wise beyond your years
JC-I couldnt imagine not having any family, thank you for reaching out to me..I am sorry that you have to do this alone, but glad your here, so your not completely alone..
Gloria-your right sticking together has been a tremondous help, I am glad we have each other..
Natalie-Yes I do feel manic many times, talking to everyone here helps, I know you are having an awful time too, thanks for letting me know I am not alone..
Sandy-thank you for caring, I am sorry you lost your dad so young, I bet he is your guardian angel...