Kris,
Well I have been thinking about this day for a while. I have decided I am not going to see my father in law as selfish as that may seem I just dont want to put myself through it..Fathers day was always a special day for me, it was the day that was devoted to my dad.. We didnt do anything different or out of the ordinary. It was just a day to let him know how much I loved him....
I loved picking out a Fathers day card for him, as much as I adored him we never said "I love you" but that was ok because all I had to do was look at him and his eyes told me over and over. I would get him a really mushy card and he would look at me and I know what he wanted to say..
I agree with Curtis, that if you reach out to someone in pain it helps us to heal as well, however Sunday I just cant do it.. I already told my mom I wanted to spend the day alone, she knows how much I adored my dad, so I am hoping she understands, I just cant deal with comforting her that day, after all he was MY DAD. I have spent all the other special days comforting her, now I want this day for me..I hate the way this is sounding, I am sorry but again he was my dad. A special man who would protect me until his last breath..
So here is what I am going to do, you know how we have to live by a new normal, I am going to honor another wonderful father, my husband, I am going to go to Hallmark and try and pick out a beautiful card for him..We are going to a concert in the evening and I know there wont be any emotional songs being played (Prince concert) its so hard to listen to music these days but thats another story..
Here we are again Kris, another one of those dreaded first..I know my father in law will be ok with me not going to see him, he's a good guy, nothing at all like my dad though, I think my husband was closer to my dad than his. I think you should go with your instincts, why should your heart have to break more than it really needs to, my opinion is if they care and love you they will understand.. After all its Fathers day and as hard as this is our very precious dads are not here..My father in law is not my father at least not this year.. I'm sorry its how I feel...
Let me know how it goes and what you decide..