Addie

Hehehehehehe.....maybe, just maybe, somebody with a bigger mouth than me! Way to go, Cin!!

More great news. Congrats!!

Geri is my hero and inspiration....as there is a wedding in my future too, that I want desperately to be here for! Fall of 2006...and I hope I look as wonderful as Geri did (she sent me a few pix this morning....what a glorious setting for this wedding, and what a spectacular looking bunch of wedding-goers! ) The bride was absolutely stunning, as was her groom handsome...and let me tell you the mother and father of the bride looked pretty spectacular too. But...ask Geri about her accessories....as there is a great story there! Geri...I'm sure your heart was full to overflowing this weekend...and I love it that you're looking forward to the next big occasion when you'll feel similarly....the birth of a grandchild! You're still my hero, dearheart...and the lovely sentiments in your post have got me misting in my coffee, here. Congratulations all around!!

What you're seeing is the dust I'm kicking up on my way to the Pub to celebrate! Happy news, Cindy...very happy news!

T~~ I'm just now finding this post...but please know all my best thoughts and vibes are headed your way. Hoping those liver values come down quickly so you can have the next Alimta. And hoping too, that the rash clears. Bad enough to be on chemo, eh...without being polka-dotted and itchy. Keep us posted, okay?

A VERY encouraging report, Peggy...and I'm so glad to hear it! Hope you've got him home very soon...and that his breathing and strength increases daily!! Remind him that you almost NEVER serve green Jello at home to encourage him...eh?

Gay...thank you for bringing us up to date on Dean Carl. Tell him we ALL miss his wisdom here...but are so grateful that you are thoughtful enough to keep us posted. AND we have any and all of his old posts to reread and reflect on. So...even if he isn't posting any new thoughts...he's already bestowed any number of "pearls" upon us. I am sending out every thought and vibe for serenity for you both during Dean's week in the VA hospital. I also wish for peace and strength for the two of you. I truly hope the birds at the feeder in the yard are still of enjoyment to Dean.... Hugs to you both...and keep us posted as you can, Gay.

I have a different type of lung cancer...small cell...which might make a difference. But if he is nauseated, no appetite...have him ask the gastro doctor about an MRCP or ERCP....which is an MRI of that area...liver, pancreas, biliary tree. In my case...my cancer had gone to my liver and pancreas...which accounted for my "unsettled" tummy. It hurt up high...sort of under my boobs...not low in the gut. But I never threw up. My primary doc thought it was a virus at first...and then pancreatitis. It wasn't either one. It was a recurrence of the cancer. I don't mean to worry you...and like I said, small cell is different than what your dad has and is far more aggressive than most non small cell lung cancers. But my scan and an ultra sound didn't show anything. An MRI of that area showed the tumors. It's worth asking your dad's gastro doc if having an MRI is justified based on his symptoms. I'm sending out good thoughts that this is not a recurrence for your dad. Please keep us posted...but do pursue things till he gets relief from his symptoms. No reason for him to be sick or not eating....and in fact, it's not good for him. He needs to keep his strength up and make sure he stays hydrated...but push the docs to find an answer. That's what I would do!

Huh? Here is my proof that the card I refered to does NOT need any clean up, Di. I swear...it's clean already...but somebody else must have a dirty mind....eh?

How cool!!! Now...your big problem is gonna be the 2000 or so autographs you're gonna have to give, starting with all of us!! Seriously....the true face of cancer has to be put out there...and you're it, honey...as much as I am (an older ex-smoker)....so they chose a good person to interview and I hope you get lots of air time, and royalties, and more interviews and then maybe even a contract with Warner Brothers Studios. Then we'll get to watch you at next year's Oscars! And we can all say "we knew her when"!!

Peggy...I haven't checked this forum lately, and am so sorry I missed this post. Know that I'm sending you a huge hug...and keeping all good thoughts for Don. Wish like hell that none of this was happening to you guys.

Joanie...bear with me a moment: I have a friend who had a massive stroke last October. I gave him a card recently that had two cartoon dogs on the front, and was blank inside for my message to him. One of the cartoon dogs is holding a pork chop and the other one is saying to him..."Hey buddy, I saw you catching that frisbee and you were amazing! I'd sure like to see you do that again. If you'll go catch that frisbee again...I'll hold your pork chop for you!" (I can just hear my male dog - a chowhound - saying this to another dog..which makes it even funnier to me! ) What I wrote inside the card to my friend was, "Let's pretend all your worries are a pork chop. Now...give me that pork chop and let me hold it for you!" So...that's what I'm offering you too, Joanie. All your worries about the upcoming month are simply a "pork chop". You give your pork chop to all of us to hold for you...and you go back to living and enjoying your life WITHOUT ANY WORRIES...until you get your test results and can relax again. How's that? A good deal?

NED must like you, Cindy~!! Can't say I blame the guy! I'm so glad the news was happy news...but more important than that...I think...is the fact that you were mentally prepared to take whatever came your way. You know....what other options do we really have? To be miserable? Fearful? Tied in emotional knots? I'm spiritual...but not religious in any formal sense. Haven't attended church since I was a child. But I too try to remain calm when awaiting test results, figuring....I'll worry when and IF I have to. There is a certain peace in accepting that however things transpire....we will find the inner strength to deal with it. Whatever we attribute that to...doesn't matter so much as having that sense of calm or peace, right? Now having said all that....sometimes I still get a bit of a case of the nerves when tests and/or results are coming up. Hey...I'm only human! But I try to put off the worry to some future point, before which I generally know I'll have my results. Works for me, to do that. I'm hoping your fuzzy vision just means you need a new prescription for eyeglasses! I tend to have some fuzziness too...but not double vision. I think mine is related to the chemo I still take. Do let us know your MRI results as soon as you have them. Thinking of you...and so happy you and NED are still hanging out together.

I've been in a room FULL of Horny Goats more than once...but perhaps it's my age. Most of the old goats were drinking beer at the time! Listen, Cindi my girl....TAnn has given you a pretty good rundown on what this procedure is all about...and knowing a bit more about what you face always makes it a bit easier...eh? Write down all your questions...and take it one bit at a time and oh yeah, watch your mail...ok? All will work out fine....you just hang in there.

Joanie, dear...I wish I could just WISH for you not to worry and have it be so....but alas, I'm not that good! But you know what I do? I make a CONSCIOUS DECISION to TABLE IT! The worry, I mean. I simply tell myself, "Look...you MIGHT reach a point where you have something big to worry about again. But until you DO...are you gonna spend every day in deep angst? Miserable? Like butter on a hot skillet?" And I always tell myself, "No way!!" So I table the worry until later....and most of the time, it turns out I don't HAVE anything big to worry about! The thing about cancer, I guess...is that once we've had it....we've been officially WHACKED UPSIDE THE HEAD about our own vulnerability...our own mortality. Prior to cancer, it was easy enough to postpone worrying about any of the vagaries of growing older....until we got hit with something. Getting hit with CANCER is about the ultimate. And it sets one's "worry meter" up a few notches...and ever after, it's hard not to worry at test time. But again...I MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO TABLE THE WORRY TILL LATER!! That gets me thru a few days without being wracked with worry...and invariably, my tests turn out fine! None of us get promises with this disease, Joanie. I know you know that. But you've done just great and there is NO reason to think you won't continue to do great. Make the decision not to worry and fret. Postpone it until....say....three days AFTER you have your scans. By then, you may well already have the results....and I'm betting you're still Dancin' with NED~!! Now...take a deep breath...and table the worry for later...ok?

I got my nose-wipin' shirt on, Cin. Feel free to indulge. Crap! I'm so sorry you've got another heap of "I can't eat this %$#&" on your plate...and I wish I had words of wisdom...but all of what ails you is pretty foreign to me and my kind of cancer, I guess. Maybe you can take all this in smaller bites...smaller increments. FIRST, get the fluid off of your lung and see how things shape up there. Then...you could have the conversation with the onc about the possibility of some chemo to possibly take care of that "funny looking thing". Go step by step instead of trying to figure out/find answers for the whole of it, all at once. Would that help it seem less overwhelming? I know when I had my relapse...and after I slept for nearly 3 days - hiding from the news - that I tried to break it all down to something smaller...more palatable, if that word can even apply. I focused only on the fact that my doc had a chemo to use and he told me "Topotecan works". So I mentally locked on that....and tried not to think too hard about the details which included a pancreas with "multiple masses" and four good sized liver tumors. Having the cancer back...and in TWO major organs was too scary. Too much to consider. So I focused on the TREATMENT for it...the chemo. It helped me get to where I am now. Take smaller bites of the plateful you've been handed, Cin. A step at a time....and you can do this and DO IT WELL, sweetie. Cancer BEWARE!! PM me your snail mail address, will you? I have something to send you that will help you not to worry!

Well, Fay...if I were the cancer in your lung...I'd be getting mighty scared about now. You don't take such things lying down...and I know your approach to this news won't change. You'll continue to research and approach this battle as you always have...in full mental and physical gear. You won't go quietly into this battle...and I hear ya, girl, cuz neither will/am I! I'm sorry that the egg painting, gardening, packing and remodeling might not be getting quite ALL of your attention in the coming weeks or more...but I know these activities will get as much as you've got to give them...and THAT is what we call LIVING, isn't it? Keep on living, researching and fighting, Fay. We've got your back and I'm looking forward to seeing some photos of that art exhibit!

Ahhhhh....and I get the feisty Brit from up North! From the beginning, Geri, and despite the fact that you aren't a real frequent poster....I knew you'd beaten this disease and were enjoying life..and I decided I wanted to be you! I love your attitude. You just keep on living and don't worrytoomuchaboutit.....altho at test time, you will admit to a wee bit of concern, like most of us have. Of course, most here haven't been privy to some of our more raunchy, outspoken emails to each other ....but suffice to say, Geri tells it like it is and LIVES it like it is too! I don't think Geri even found this site until she was nearly 2 years out from dx....and still she comes around to encourage and support others of us! I give her high points for that! Plus, I need to mention that the woman has a black belt in shopping. And living in the boonies up north, that is NO mean feat!

Uh huh, uh huh. And now, somewhere in downtown Chicago, sits a writer working on his next play...."Cindy and The Priest". Forget Tony and Tina's wedding.... So glad you had a good time, Cin...but sorry you came home with some edema and breathing problems. Hope the scan results are good and that you just overdid things a little in Chi-town. It's not as though the weather was real temperate there lately, either....eh? Keep those spirits up, girl. And let us know as soon as you know anything, about the CT results, ok?

Mel.....Bunny nailed it. Your spirit is truly amazing. Keep it up, honey....as it all weighs on the side of continued survival...I'm sure of it! As you wean off the steroids, I hope you feel better and better...and am sure you will. Yeah, we all have our down moments, days, even weeks...but as long as we get (mentally) back up again to continue the fight...THAT is what counts, right? Hang in there, Melanie. Focus on getting your daughter going with school...and by the time that's done, I hope you realize...."Hey, I'm feeling better than I was two days ago!!"

Jen, I'm so happy to see this post! I'm sure you were hoping for greater shrinkage....but too, wasn't there more than three weeks between your two cycles of Topo? Am I remembering right? Perhaps if you can remain on the every three week cycle, the reduction will be even greater by your next scan!! I had significant shrinkage after 3 cycles of Topo. By now...I've had 8 cycles and at BEST, I've had a bit more shrinkage. At the least, I am stable. The stuff works! Maybe not like carbo/VP-16 worked the first time, getting us to NED.....BUT IT WORKS. It has kept me here, feeling pretty good most of the time, since February. It cleaned out my pancreas which had "multiple masses" back in Feb., and reduced the liver tumors by about half. I keep hoping it's nipping away at those four remaining liver tumors...little by little....but what matters most to me right now, is that I still feel good, have decent energy, a good appetite and no pain. For you, dear girl....I hope the reduction also equals FEELING BETTER for you....both physically AND mentally. This just seems like very good news to me...and I'm off to Cin's Pub this very moment to hoist one in your honor. Hang on in there Jen....if we keep nipping away at these little tumor buggers a centimeter here and there......eventually we're gonna get rid of them...eh? Love you.....

Thanks, Cin. Thinking of you Beth, and hoping you're feeling better and better each day. I know you'll check in when you feel up to it. Meanwhile, sending lots of good thoughts your way....

Chicago will never be the same. That's all. Just that. Chicago will never be the same after Cin's visit. Y'all know I'm right too, don't you? Hurry back Cin....we need you to peel the cucumbers and destring the celery.

I was a little late on my timing...but a butter cream candle was lit on Friday night in Cathy's honor and memory. It smelled like cookies baking....and was appropriate, in that Cathy was one of the dearest, sweetest members here. Her family should know how much she was appreciated here...for her basic nature and her sweetness and for just being who she was.

For you, Cindy...(the first person I ever PMd from these boards, I believe )....you've got all my best wishes, thoughts and vibes for your continuing NED and clean scans. I started out limited....but I still look to your "handling" of this disease as a huge inspiration. My first remission was way too short...but your bio and history always makes me feel hopeful that this time around....I'll do even better (as you have done on your second remission.) Will look forward to a "nothing but good news" report from you real soon!