Addie

Oh, Cindy....you will survive this...and not from a corner. But maybe not as soon as you'd wish, either. My youngest was so easy to raise. Older son was very private and wouldn't communicate much. Younger son let all his thoughts hang out and was SO easy by comparison. So...he goes off to college and finds his very first girlfriend at nearly age 20. He's still with her and she and her family have problems up the wazoo. Serious issues that have me concerned. Her brother is, even by HER admission...."weird". Last August my son moved in with her. He's almost 27 and still with the same, first and only girlfriend who comes HERE and won't even come into the room unless my son is in there. Like my DH and I are ogres! (Don't I seem like a difficult person to get along with??? ) She is very socially inept....and even my son admits she is "high maintenance"...looking only to him or her parents and one or two girlfriends. Otherwise...people make her nervous, I guess He's in the Chicago area. I see him once or twice a year if I'm lucky. Right now he's in grad school, so is pretty busy and is doing a summer internship in Ohio (so is not with her for the summer, altho she's kept him flying or driving home MORE than he's remained in Ohio on weekends! ) He knows my feelings....that I wish he'd dated around a bit. She manipulates him...and bright as he is...he doesn't see some of it. I'm hoping he'll eventually see enough of it, though. I finally decided my relationship with him is what matters. If he marries her someday...he'll have made his own stew and I am powerless to stop it. I keep hoping he'll wise up....that living with her he might get a better sense of what marriage would be like. I'm old fashioned enough I'd prefer that NONE of my kids lived with someone before marriage. I'm not an idiot or a total prude...and I had no expectations of "virgins until they marry". In this day and age, I don't think that's very practical. I hope that comment doesn't offend anyone...it's just the way I feel. But...I still feel that marriage is more special....waking up that first morning together after the wedding...if a couple hasn't been living together. And here I sit with BOTH my sons living with their girlfriends and my stepson (who was always an over-achiever ) moving in with someone for about the 6th or 7th time. I've lost track. Like I said...kids do things differently these days. <> Try to let it go and let her make her own choices, even if they turn out to be mistakes. Truthfully...this relationship of my son's about broke my heart more than once....and expressing any of my distress with it only seemed to drive him further away. Now, I just ask after her and tell him to say hello. Nothing much more...nothing much less. She may move back in someday, Cindy! You never know. YOu didn't mention how you feel about him OR her living with him, specifically...and you don't need to. I just think it's hard seeing any child move out. When my youngest comes to visit...invariably, the day he leaves again I get all weepy and messy. He's my "baby" and I know when he walks out that door...I might not see him again for close to a year. Relationships change...but you know...a kid ALWAYS needs their mom in some way. Dad, too. But moms....it's a special relationship, I think...maybe because we're the ones who actually give birth. Send her cards. Don't bomb her with phone calls...just send a few cards or notes in the mail...and see what happens. She might start calling you on a regular basis. Make sure not to put any phones in any corners...so when she DOES call...you can be in the middle of a room...feeling okay about your relationship again. Does any of this drivel help? I hope!?? Oh, and P.S. I figure this will give you a laugh...I've never told my son this...but my hubby and a couple of friends have heard me say that if my youngest marries this girl....I'm being buried with all my jewelry on and clutching the family sterling flatware in my hands!! Hey....I may not mean it...but it makes me laugh to think it and it's better than being upset about where (and with whom) he's living these days...eh?

Millie... This doesn't sound quite "normal" to me. I had 13 PCI txs last November. It made me tired and I sometimes now struggle with short term memory stuff...but nothing like what you describe. I'd put a call in to either her onc or the radiation oncologist where she had her treatments done. I don't know if the steroids could be causing this either...as I'm lucky in that the 'roids don't affect me like I know they do some people. I do hope your dad has hidden all the car keys so Mom cannot decide to go somewhere in the middle of the night. This is a bit scary when behavior is so erratic...but I'm sure there is some explanation for it and something to be done to help your mom. Call her doctor...don't wait for the appointment, call on Monday! That's what I'd do, anyway...

I'm so sorry for your loss. After 23 years, I hope all the memories of happier, healthier times with Donna will lend you comfort. Thinking of you....

You did it!! You humanized all of us, Lisa...putting a face to those with lung cancer even if we also are former smokers. Thank you for showing the world the emotions of being whacked with lung cancer, no matter the cause...which sometimes has nothing to do with smoking. It was a good piece on this stinking disease and you were wonderful...and your darling little daughter is the spitting image of you! I hope such bits on the news will continue and also that $$$ going into l.c. research will someday match that going into breast cancer research. Hooray for our very own STAR, the incredible Lisa O!! Well done!!

Jana and Karen... My most sincere sympathies in the loss of your mum. I am not often in this forum, and am sorry to be late in offering my thoughts. Your mum was so fortunate to have the two of you who cared so much and tried so hard to find helpful information for her. I hope all the happy memories will see you through the difficult days ahead.

Dear, dear Peggy... I am stunned. I honestly don't know what to say to you that might be of any comfort at all, after the shock of losing Don. I am so sorry, honey. I'll have more to say later when I've absorbed all this. I'm just too stunned to even think straight.

I've said it before and I'll say it again....when it comes to FayA vs cancer....my money is on FayA. Hoping you hear what you want to hear on Tuesday, Fay....and hoping your doc has as much guts as you do! Will be thinking of you....

I'm late to the party here...but a party it IS with such a great report, TAnn. I'm so pleased for you that your scan showed no new mets and that you'll be back on track with the chemo. Hope the Lortab ends up working better this time than you think! Keep us posted....and again, I'm so happy to hear this good news.

Peggy... I hardly know what to say. Please know I'm keeping you both in my thoughts, hoping for the very best. I'm so sorry it's come to all this...and hope there a good chance to reverse what is going on. It may be "difficult" but you and Don have faced difficult a few times already. Here's to doing it again, sweetie. Thinking of you......

I'm so glad to hear that Brian's doc is a scrapper too...and willing to keep fighting on Bri's behalf. He'll find the right chemo combo to turn things around.......BELIEVE in that, Brat. And know we're behind you both. I wish the news had been better...but at least now you know exactly what you're dealing with...and that is always a plus. Winging all good thoughts the way of my favorite "Brat-ty" couple!

All it will take is the right chemo cocktail. Believe that, Pat and Bri. Hoping they hit on the right thing immediately, and that Bri will feel the positive results of that. Keeping you both in my close thoughts...sending out vibes for the very best! Stay positive, you two....

Not a thing to worry about, Lisa. You'll come off like a STAR....I just know it! And if anything isn't "quite right"...it'll be THEIR fault and not yours! Keep that right hand pampered...cuz it's gonna get a workout signing autographs!!

To die with dignity, grace, humor and peace....is surely the best way to go. And Francine couldn't have left any better than she did. I'm saddened to know that not hearing from her in a while means what it means....but I'm grateful to Gilles for sharing what he did of her passing, as I just hope that someday I can do it with the same "style" Francine showed. Godspeed, Blue Bayou. Your user name always reminded me of one of my favorite songs - the Linda Ronstadt version. Now, though, when I think of Blue Bayou...I'm also going to remember you saying..."Oh sh*t, I am still alive"!! And then I will smile in fond remembrance.

Kasey...sometimes the news around here gets overwhelming...and much as we care, it's just hard to respond when so many have less than good news. This is all to say....I understand. Sometimes, I have to just step back a bit because I hardly know what to say. But still....I'm drawn to come here and read and HOPE for better news or for things to turn around for all those who need that. Anyway, I'm sending a big hug your way and I know you'll be back posting and your usual supportive self, soon as you catch your breath a bit. Just know I'm thinking of you in the meanwhile.....

Beth.... Let me hold your pork chop! (As I posted on another thread...say all your worries are represented by a pork chop. Let ME hold your pork chop for you! ) You just focus on those two kids of yours...and on yourself. I know it's not easy...but the fact that you can articulate things as you can, makes me know that indeed you WILL climb out of this hole. If you can SEE the top....you'll get to the top. And we're here to help...to make you laugh...to give you a boost....to hold your pork chop, okay? Hang in there.....

Hi Susan...and thanks so much for popping in to let us know what's happening. Be sure to tell Rachel she has the power of all our collective best thoughts behind her...or "under her wings". We're hoping the PCP has a game plan and we look forward to hearing the latest when you can get back to us. Sending a huge group hug to Rachel.....

That was the last place to start to really come in for me too....right down the middle of my head. I was starting to get used to that Franciscan Monk look. Scary without a brown robe, huh? If it weren't for the...ummm....er...speed bumps in my shirt and the eyeshadow, I was starting to look just like my FIL!!

My grandpuppy is Tasha. She is gonna be BIG. Her paws are gigantic and at 11 weeks she weighs 26 lbs. already. But she has the sweetest little face!! You cannot really see in this picture that I do have some fuzz on my head......but I do. It's very fine, the hair that is there. Prior to all this, I had a very thick head of very curly hair. It still looks like it's coming back in curly...but it's so fine and so sparse, I just hope I get a decent head of hair when the time comes. Otherwise, I will be saving dog hair to knit myself a wig!

Oy....can you imagine the rate at which she'll now be sucking up frothy delights from the Pub? Glad the breathing is improved, Cin...and really glad the doc who did it was so adept! Nice when that happens, eh? Here's to an August full of GOOD NEWS!!

Paula, thanks for the update. I'm sorry about the brain and skull mets...but there are options for those too! Keep asking questions of the docs....and here. Armed with information, you make a good advocate for your dad. Hoping you get some better news regarding his other symptoms. Keep us posted....

My hair didn't even START to try to come back in after PCI for at least three months! And when it did start...it was sparse.....sorta like a baby duckling's fanny....you know how I mean? Then I went back on chemo in Feb. so for a while my hair didn't know if it was coming or going. Some of it is more than an inch long now...while the rest is somewhere less than 1/2" long. Since I'm still doing chemo, I imagine I won't get a good crop of hair growing in for a while yet. So...my suggestion would be to either get used to how you look now.....or get a wig. I don't go anywhere I really need a wig...so haven't bothered. If I had a wedding or a fancy party...I'd probably go buy me some hair. But to play golf? Don't need it. Just need sunscreen and a hat. Here I am...after a full 13 months of virtual hairlessness, playing with my new grandpuppy:

Must be telepathy, Jen...I was thinking it was time to post for Rachel...to let her know we're all thinking of her...wondering how she is. Rachel, I know you'll get to us when you can...but please know you've got a lot of love, good thoughts and best wishes coming your way. Is Susan back yet from her trip East?

Jeez....I might need a meat locker, Joanie...as I'm having a brain MRI on the 11th myself. We all could use some good news so I'll join you in your wish for good August for all with nothing but happy news!! Now remember, NO worrying...cuz I'm holding your pork chop....so you can just relax!

I'm no doctor...but Lupus is an autoimmune disease. There are two main kinds of lupus...one affects the skin, the other affects internal tissues/organs/systems. The skin variety is called discoid lupus, I think. My sister had SLE....systemic lupus erythematosis, the internal kind. It used to be that there wasn't a very effective treatment for lupus and those affected with SLE often didn't survive beyond 10 yrs. from diagnosis. This is no longer the case. If I remember right, part of my sister's tx for lupus was prednisone. Here is a link with a lot of information. Some of the symptoms of lupus can be problematic...but everyone is affected differently...so don't panic about this dx...just educate yourself....and know that there are much more effective treatments today for lupus than there were when my sis was first diagnosed. Good luck...here is the link: http://www.lupus.org/education/faq.html#1

All best thoughts winging their way to the Brat pack of two!