SBeth

Just chiming in here with everyone else! My shame in not keeping in better contact is much worse as I live only a few hours away Peggy! The good news is that my oldest son is moving to Indy for school in the fall so that will give me plenty of opportunities to get in touch with you and meet up with you for some coffee or lunch on one of the trips out to check in on Jeff! It was so good to hear from you, though I do wish the situation with your son was better. I'm glad you are involved with Al-Anon, I have heard many wonderful things about them. I hope you continue to improve on the health front and we will get together soon!

This is GREAT news Becky. I'm so happy for you and your family. With so many friends in such high and special places, it's no wonder! Here's to another 60 years of good health!

Thinking of you today and understanding how you feel. I remember this day three years ago vividly. Prayers and love, enjoy the beautiful snow sent from above!

Hi Jean! That truly is a GREAT picture. Now when we finally get together to meet in person I will know who to be looking for. Keeping your family in my prayers!

That is such wonderful news. I am very happy (and secretly very envious) of you both. Maybe I need to plan a trip to Italy? God bless!

My heart still breaks for you Pat. Your love with Brian was very special and could be felt by anyone that was fortunate enough to cross paths with you both. I think of Brian all the time, but especially when I see the squirrels or chipmunks in our back yard. I am so sorry that you continue to struggle. You know how to reach me, I'm always here for you and I would be honored to hold your hand thru some rough hours. I love you and I miss you! Beth

Hi Nick, It's the little things that sometimes sting the most. I'm sorry your beautiful mother wasn't here to call you today and share that with you. I believe that she loved that you are passing along that memory to share with your daughter and smiles thru your daughter every day. I hope you have a happy Holiday.

Sharon, I remember that day well. I remember that Holiday. I'm so sorry that the pain is still so difficult. I will be thinking of you and praying for you to find some peace. Do try to have a good Christmas with your grandchildren. I believe that your Daddy will be with you every step of the way. Much love,

Dana, It is good that her passing was peaceful. I'm so very sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.

Christine, I understand your pain and your loss. I'll be thinking of you today. Love,

Donna!!!! You and your story give such hope to many. Congrats on this wonderful milestone.

It's hard to believe it has been three years. I wish I could return home to bed and wake up on December 8, 2005 and have one more day with you Bill! I love you and miss you and I feel your love just as much today as I did three years ago. Thank you for staying with me.

Hi Curtis. I certainly remember you and Becky. In fact, I followed your "Becky's Garden" site for a while, but lost the link. Thank you for sharing the video, you guys look great and Katie sounds like she is doing remarkable and of great comfort to other children that have lost someone. I am sure that Becky is very proud of you both. It was good to hear from an old friend.

Ann, I am so very sorry for the loss of your father-in-law and the boy's loss of their grandfather. I believe that the forgiveness he was searching for was found when he was reunited with Dennis in Heaven. I will keep your family in my prayers. Losing a loved one anytime is difficult, but there is something about the loss during the Holiday season that seems to tarnish the happiness we all want to feel when the season rolls around year after year. My love and prayers to you Ann.

Nick, Your post really caught my attention and I happened to see that particular clip from the celeb rehab show last night. It may just be the time of the year (being the upcoming 3 year anniversary of Bill's death) or simply the Holidays; but I've been thinking so much about our last 18 months together and figured I would throw this question out there on the back of your post. I recall that while Bill was battling his cancer, I always felt the need to be strong and in the company of all of our loved ones, I was ALMOST always keeping a strong front and making comments like, "We will beat this". Everyone was always telling me how strong I was and one evening after Bill was asleep I remember getting very nervous and thinking to myself that if I never break down in front of Bill, will he die wondering if I really loved him? Will he think that my lack of tears in his presence somehow equates to my lack of love for him? I felt caught between a rock and a hard spot, do I cry or do I stay strong? In the end, nature took it's course and the river of tears were unstoppable, but even today, as I have recently remarried and am finding happiness again, I still find myself feeling pangs of guilt for not still living in the deep and darks throws of my intense grief. Anyway, thank you Nick for your post...it really brings me back to some much needed time to reflect and remember. All my prayers to everyone this Holiday season!

Rochelle, Please add me to the many many people that will are thinking of you and the kids today and remembering John. God bless. Beth

Hello Everyone. It’s been quite a long time, if ever, since I’ve posted an update on myself. I log on to LCSC at least once a week and check in on all my old friends. I’m always braced for bad news, but mostly thrilled to read so much good news. I rarely post a reply, mostly because I feel like it’s been almost three years since Bill’s death and I know so much changes in treatment, but my emotional support and prayers are, as Pat (Patkid) would say…my prayers are steadfast for all of my family here. I just wanted to drop in with an update on how the boys and myself are getting along. I remarried in June. It was meant to be, that I am sure. I had been part of a grief support group after Bill’s death, but slowly weaned myself away and then last year I decided to drop in on one of their meetings to catch up with some old friends and met an older woman who had recently lost her husband. We talked for a while, exchanged phone numbers and spoke several times on the phone. One afternoon she seemed especially depressed so I invited her out for lunch. During our lunch her son called her and happened to be nearby in the mall close to the restaurant and stopped in to see his mother. Boy was I surprised to see my husband walk up to the table. You see, Sean and I had dated for several months in our college years and then he moved up to Chicago where we lost touch and he settled down for over a decade until his father’s death last year when he moved home to Cincinnati to be closer to his mother. The boys love him and aside from some typical teen-age boy antics, they are doing well. Jeffrey (my oldest) and I have been touring some colleges, but lately he seems pretty determined that the Navy is calling his name…we will see. Scott, my youngest, is doing great and continues to be there with all the hugs and support any mom could ever want. Bill’s daughters are doing great. We lost touch for a while, they had a hard time when I sold our home to make a fresh start, but they have come around and we’ve even managed to enjoy a few grill-outs all together. Anyway…I sure didn’t mean to write a book, but I did want folks to know that while lung cancer destroyed my life with Bill, I kept my promise to him and I’ve found happiness again. It’s not been without ups and downs and there are plenty of days when I would trade EVERYTHING to have him back, but that is not an option, so I’ve decided to quit thinking that way and allow myself happiness here on earth, until I am with him in Heaven….and I know that day will come. My best to everyone, and please know that I pray for and think of so many of you all the time. Love,

Thank you so much Debi. I remembered that is was "Lisa" that did the tribute and that it debuted shortly after Bill's death, but I could not find her post. I surely hope it is still around. Thanks again for your help. Beth

Does anyone remember a couple years ago when someone from the LCSC put together a montage of cancer victim/survivors pictures set to the music of Mary Chapin Carpenter's song 10,000 Miles? I believe it was set up on a website where you make a monetary donation when you view the video. If anyone has any idea if this is still available anywhere, I would be very grateful for the help finding. Thank you, Beth

Debbie, I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you and know that so many are here to continue to support you. Love,

Hi Val, It sounds like it was good therapy for you. Thanks for sharing your review. Your posts always remind me so much of my step-daughter, Tracy. She has just never been the same since Bill's death and together we have been through a great deal. Though we have, on a few occassions, gone our separate ways for a few months at a time, we always seem to find a need for each other's company and lately she has really been struggling...again! It sounds like this may be a good movie for her and I to sit down and watch together. Thanks for the suggestion. I think of you and your babies often and pray that you are finding your way thru this experience called motherhood, feeling your own mom with you in spirit every step of the way. God bless Val!

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

Carrie, I am so very sorry for your loss and for the pain that loss brings. It is still so fresh, please give yourself some time to heal and I do think that you will eventually return to remembering the happy times with your mother. I, too, had a difficult time with those memories following my husband's death. Please take care of yourself, and I will keep you in my prayers.

{{{{Jamie}}}} This news just makes my whole weekend positive! It's just the best Father's Day gift you can give John and your own dad! You and your faith in God inspire me!

Acknowledge the day/date. You won't be reminding him of something he isn't already aware of.