mamasbabygirl

YES! There is something you can do-print off posts from this site and read them to him. The wonderful people here gave my mom so much encouragement and hope that it made her come around, boxing gloves and all, ready to fight. At first, she would just continue watching her TV show as I was reading, but then she'd hear something that would spark her interest and eventually, she would look forard to hearing how everyone was doing. She herself only came here once but she was very sick by then, but I just read stuff and if she ever seemed annoyed, I'd leave them on her bed so that she could peruse when she wanted. It is something...

Me too. Come back Cindi. I hope all is well with you...

Cindy, I am also sorry that you are feeling so helpless right now and I wish that you had more help, just someone to be there with you. Unfortunately, I will tell you that I had many people around me when my mom was in her last days, but I still felt helpless most of the time. It is so scary. Do you have a friend or family member who can come to be with YOU right now? If so, call them. They would probably be happy to be able to help you in any way they can. My hope is that in the weeks to come, you will know that you were able to do this and you will feel a sense of pride for doing such a tremendous job. I send you my love and compassion for having to endure this. ((((((((((((Cindy))))))))))

I think it is good that the has a Dr. who is willing to take a different approach by placing brachytherapy seeds. I do not see that offered to alot of patients from this site. The treatment has been around for a long time, but only in recent years have Drs. been using it in the brain/lung. Have you made any decisions yet? If I were you, I would ask all of the obvious questions, like: -How many patients has the Dr. treated this way? -What were those patients' outcomes? Keep us updated and big hugs to ya...

Bless God for blessing you. Your wait was long, but well worth it-they are beautiful!!!! Grinning ear to ear...

I am proud of you for trying to do something that was so your mom's thing. I did the 4th of July party in the same spirit.

Just a quick update from my last post when I was freaking out bc all of topics I could think of for upcoming school projects were around death, patient advocacy, etc-stuff that added up to a lifetime of pain. Instead of focusing on that in my speeches I did one on "Why you shouldn't ask a person "Did they smoke?" when you find out that they or their loved one has LC. My second speech yesterday was to persuade people to become organ donors, full of personalization bc of my son Liam and my mama. I almost cried, but got through it and I recevied a ton of good feedback. Also, I am throwing a 4th of July party on Saturday, in my mama's honor. It won't be the same without her here. It won't be perfect in the details like hers were, but I am still doing it. I am trying to make lemonade out of all of these lemons and some days it is hard, but I am trying. I promise I'll be more active in the coming weeks. Ths semester is over as of tomorrow. Love you all and you are always on my mind.

My mom had brachytherapy-there were 25 or so seeds implanted in her brain after the WBR and stereotactic radiosurgery stopped working. Are they doing this in his lung?

Tanner and kids, I send so many prayers of peace to you and your family. It's just not fair.

This story is so entirely cool!! I think your dad is right!

Missy. I am sorry that I have not been here for you, but here I am. My last day of this semester is tomorrow. You are an awesome mom, wife, and woman. I personally think it is good to let it out. Sometimes we refrain from letting it out and then it takes a toll on our bodies and mental health. You have been in my thoughts so much and so here is a great big hug, cyberstyle.

Oh yeah Heather-I am so glad that you had the opportunity to have surgery. That is just great. It is even better that you are up to updating us aftr such a bid surgery-that is wonderful. I am so glad to hear this!! THREE CHEERS FOR HEATHER!!!

As long as mom can care for him, then it is his right to stay home and, in my opinion, your job as his daughter to stand up for his wishes. PERIOD.

I know Missy, I know.

This sounds very normal to me Kel. For me, because my mom was suffering so much, when she passed away, I was lighter somehow bc I knew she was better off. It is only now that I have started to unveil some of the deep down stuff that I need to process, almost 8 months later.

OMG Crystal. I had this exact same situation. My mom died in September and MIL (who lives with us) fell at our house in January. She had hip surgery and was then going to be moved to the same nursing home where my mom was and hated. I told John to ask the social worker what other options Medicare would pay for bc I could NOT go there, no way, no how. I have been to the hospital where mom was, several times in fact and I was OK. The idea of going to the nursing home though (the same place where we were refused therapy at the door, even with me screaming and crying) was not something I could do. I get it and I am sorry you are being called selfish. For now, it is self preservation.

This is so sad, but true in our situation too. I had a stepdad who was part of "the team" and my mom and I fighting the vultures off. I am so sorry Tanner, I truly am. You are in my prayers. You'll get through this somehow, someway. Reach out...

Today was busy with school and that's a good thing. I try to stay busy I swear I do. I started a speech class today and we were brainstorming topics that we were very knowledgeable about or passionate about. My list was all medical related, you know, patient advocacy, the sandwich generation, the care received in nursing homes. I almost starting crying when I reviewed the list and thought how sad my life has been. Talk about a major pity party for myself this week. No one is invited, but you can pop by if you wish. Urgh... I did decide this morning that I was going to try to make lemonade today, but it has been hard. One thing I did do was talk to my brother about how alone I felt yesterday and he is going to start meeting me for lunch twice a week. The other bright side, I know my mama is so proud of me for being back in school. I keep envisioning her smiling proudly as I receive my diploma. It was one of her lifelong wishes gets me up and out the door some days.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I always think to about the Lemonade quote. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I am going to try to make lemonade today, but I know exactly what you are feeling and it sucks. Life is forever different and I don't like it either.

Your story is very sad Brandie. I am so very sorry this happened. Peace be with us all...

You know something is not right when I come back and read "their gone"-my biggest pet peeve ever. I know Val. That sure would be nice. I have thought several times about leaving like Don has decided, but if I did, who would I have to come and talk to about this kind of stuff? John is oblivious and I feel like my friends have listened to me gripe enough. I have one friend who is so very supportive and I called her tonight. I just hate to rain on her parade ALL THE TIME. I have to share "the love" I guess. I have been thinking about my mom and how she was truly the glue that held my family together, her brothers and sister and my cousins. I'll have to be the glue, but I sometimes just don't have it in me. Today was definitely one of those days. Thanks for being here to listen. My grief goes way deeper than I have recognized so far in my motherless journey. MISS YA MOM

Wow, I simply can't shake it today. I feel so lonely. This royally sucks not being with my family today. I have my kids and I should not be taking them for granted, but on days like this, I am so used to being with my family, it is lonely-a BIG reality slap right across the face today. She's gone, their gone, I am lonely. I could have taken the kids swimming at a friend's house, but John assured me we'd have a fun day, just us. Well, by the time he works 12 hours and then comes home only to deal with his mom (who is so pitful and negative, bluck), he is spent. So, that leaves me with the kids (just like every other day of the week). I hate this. It is hitting me hard today that this is the new normal for the rest of my life and I can't stand it. Maybe I need a hobby, but I am the kind of person who needs people around me, have always had it, but not any more. Just had to vent. It didn't help much though.

Dana, I lost my mom in September and my grief comes in spurts really. I can be "setoff" by seeing something like mothers/daughters in a car together OR any milestone dates, holidays, when my kids do something that I wish she was there for. You DO have a good life and I know your mom was proud of you. Keep on keepin on Dana, one day at a time.

GOOD GOOD GOOD INDEED. I am so very happy to hear this!

Goosebumps here too. Kelly, this is truly a legacy to hold onto-wowwwwww.......