Doc was very CRUDE...

[Donna]

Mark went to NYU last week, met with the Oncologist..He told Mark if this cancer had been any place else in his body, he would not even treat him, just give him a life expectancy time..I have never heard something this crude before..My brother was so taken back..How does a professional talk to a patient this way?? I always thought where there was life, there is hope..Mark decided to go to a hospital in Scranton, Pa. for his treatments..He has to have radiation and Chemo for 13 weeks..I am kinda glad he is not going to NYU..This crude Doc is still the one giving the orders to the Scranton Hospital..We go on Tuesday to the hospital..Can anyone tell me what happens next?

Thanks,

Donna

[DebsSky]

Oh my Gosh Donna,

RUN do not walk to another doctor. SCLC is very treatable. How horrific for you and your brother.

When my mother was first dxed, the surgeon just blurted, "Nothing we can do, six to nine months!" We were floored and that was nine months ago and she is still here and NED, thanks to her wonderful oncologist.

Get another doctor right away!!

I will be praying for you two,

Deb

[Connie B]

Dear Donna,

I'm soooo sorry to hear this Jack-*ss doctor said that! Sorry, about my comment, but that is a very stupid thing that doctor said. SHAME ON HIM!

Our very own Debi here on the board will gladly go pop that doc right in the nose if you asked her. She was going to slap Frank's doctor, so I think you could talk her into doing your brothers also.

If he starts chemo and he better, then he MAY OR MAY NOT get sick. Not everyone gets sick from chemo. I didn't and I know many many many many they didn't also.

He needs to walk in with a positive attitude and his battle will go much better with that attitude. Small Cell Lung Cancer Reacts very well to chemos. There are many long term survivors of Small Cell.

So, tell him to pick up his spirits and put his party hat on and go do his chemo so he can kick the crap out of this cancer. Are they doing both Radiation and chemo at the same time?

Hang in there, and keep us informed.

[Snowflake]

Donna,

I met with a small-town oncologist (not "Podunk" small, small city small) after my surgery. He lined me up for all kinds of scans and tests and sent me off to a LARGE cancer center for a second opinion. He felt my "best chance" was a trial... My first meeting with this man went well, and then I was off to the "pros"...

So after waiting over THREE HOURS beyond my appointment time, this "professional" finally walks in, tells me she's looked at my scans (that I had to HAND CARRY) and my pathology slides (they were overnighted) and then says, "I'm sorry you have this disease. There is nothing we can do for you. Most likely, the cancer will return within two years. We have nothing, go home."

WHAT??!

I came home. I see the small-town doctor. He sent me for radiation, the big cancer center doctor wouldn't even do that! Over two years out, and cancer free. As for Dr. P at the big cancer center? I would LOVE to see her again to tell her how wrong she is and how truly unprofessional it is to have someone wait for over THREE HOURS in a flippin' waiting room for the FIRST appointment of the day!

I was in a pretty deep depression after "the word" from the Big Cancer Center, geez, the pros held no hope for me, sorry lady... Well, here I am! Sure glad MY doctor didn't give up on me and wouldn't allow me to give up on myself!

What's next? Find a doctor you like. It doesn't have to be someone who's top of the game. The fight is to save a PERSON, the PERSON should never be removed from the equation.

Good luck!

Becky

[battleofbrooklyn]

If you decide to ditch this doctor, you might want to write a letter about your experience to the chief of medicine at NYU, the head of the medical oncology division or a patient advocate (or all three). A quality institition like NYU, which promotes itself as a big-time cancer care center, doesn't want its doctors alienating patients with poor bedside manner, no matter what their diagnosis or prognosis.

If for whatever reason you decide to stick with this doctor, you may want to write him a letter directly, explaining why his comments upset you and why it's important for you to have a physician who will be in this fight with you, regardless of what statistics suggest the outcome will be. There is, after all, a big difference between giving a patient false hope and giving them no hope at all.

If you need any help getting names or addresses for the NYU officials that I mentioned, please let me know. Good luck with everything.

[Cindy RN]

First off tell the offending Dr what has upset you.

Drs. see hundreds of 'us' and after awhile we become statistics. IT IS NOT RIGHT BUT IT HAPPENS.

If afterwards he STILL is not supporting, and does not say --your right, lets treat this thing now!! THEN find a new one. HE is not the only onco out there. Also HE does not have to be the one doing the orders.

I have made it over 4 yrs since my diag. See the profile below. SCLC is treatable, I will not be written off!!

Love Cindy

[berisa]

Donna, the fact is SCLC is a very aggressive cancer, it must be treated immediately as it spreads very quickly. SCLC responses very well to chemo especially the first time. You are strongly suggested to get Mark immediate treatment. It is a standard treatment. Hope Mark can find a good and responsible oncologist.

[Doughnut]

I'm with Becky on finding a doctor he likes and with Cindy on telling the old one what you think. My friend's first onc told her 6 months if she's lucky. It wasn't just what he said but how he said it. She got rid of him and here we are 15 months on and she's NED.

Dee

[Donna]

Hello all,

I thought the same thing on this crude Doc..My brother is scared enough, he does not need some uncaring Doc to make his life worse at this time..The thing that scares me is, we are going on Tuesday to a different hospital, here in Pa..He is still the main Doc giving the orders to the Oncologist in Scranton..They are waiting another week to start treatment..Tuesday, I guess they are doing all the preliminary stuff, like marking the spot, etc..Why is this going to take another week?? Shouldn't they begin this immediately???

How quickly does this spread, do we have this time to waste?? I am so sorry for all the questions, but I am so upset and confused..

Donna

[kimmek]

Hi Donna

I dont really know the exacted procedure of whats next regarding SCLC, but I do know that I would be looking for another doctor. There are many many fine drs out there who will treat you as you wish to be treated. Also to me you can never get into treatment fast enough. My mom began her chemo and radiation 2 days after diagnois, although we were lucky in that we knew of a wonderful cancer doctor here in town and didnt have to hunt one down.

Good luck with his treatments

Kim

[wfshaw]

Donna,

It's your neighbot in Clarks SUmmit. I am sending you a e-mail to you home e-mail acocunt.

[Tami]

I'm also in PA and it was tough finding a good doc.

one of my surgeons told me that he thought all my scans had been done previously in "hick" hospitals by incompetent doctors. He was sending me to Hershey medical center (he was not from there) for a "real pet scan" and that he was sure that it would show cancer in other areas of my body (besides my primary spot) at which case I would be considered terminal and "not worth his time". I guess he only operates on a select few. I was devistated to hear someone say that to me. What an EGO!!!

I went from that hopsital to Fox Chase in Philly. Have you tried them even for a 2nd or 3rd opinion? They were great to me and i would recommend them even if just for an opinion... after all they are pretty close by.

prayers for your brother and family..

[SDianneB]

The first oncologist I had became known to us as "Dr. Gloom & Doom." His demeanor was always negative -- even when I had great news from midway through the first chemo that I had over 50% shrinkage of the primary tumor. Every time he looked at me, it was as if he was ready to pass out the shovels and bury me.

I stuck with him through the initial chemo, but during the radiation, I changed to another oncologist. She and I have had our ups and downs, but she is really in tune with what I want from treatment, what I don't want, my philosophies about this disease, etc. I've learned to just ask her things outright and she will give me a straight answer.

I sometimes think that the battles we fight against the disease are less than those we have to fight against the system. I have a 91 year old mother who is in decent health for her age, and when she needs something even quite minor in terms of health care, you should see how they push her around from one doc to another -- because they think she will die and they don't want a death statistic to mar their record. (She's in a wonderful assisted living place now with a physician she really likes, and one who has worked wonders in only a week or so just by adjusting the medications that had been thrown at her over the past few months.)

I'm sorry anyone has to experience this, but it just isn't like what you see on television. The good thing is that when it happens, we learn -- we learn that we are humans just like they are.

Next time one tells you that you are "terminal," or won't live past "x" date, look him/her right in the eye and let him/her know you may very well outlive him/her.

Best wishes to you.

Di

[Larry]

I'll not add anymore than what other's have said but just try and remember this and be sure you tell your brother and that is almost all the SCLC and lung Cancer Stat's are OLD and that only GOD determine's when it's time to go......

[Addie]

Well here is a thought for that doctor and anyone else Doom and Gloom....

It sort of just came flying out of my mouth today when I was at the dentist. Making my next appointment, the gal at the desk said to me, "You have such a great attitude about the cancer...it's terrific to see".

And I said..."Well, cancer can only kill me once!! But until that day, I intend to LIVE all the days leading up to it!"

Not entirely an original thought...but my spin on it. The important part is the first sentence. We are ALL only gonna die ONE TIME...at ONE MOMENT...and who knows from what? Or when???

But EVERY MOMENT IN TIME UNTIL OUR DEATH...is time meant for us to LIVE and live as well as we can. If we have doctors or any medical professionals ready to hang it up, give up, tell us we're out of hope and out of chances.....well, I would be looking for new doctors or new medical professionals.

It's taken me some time...but I'm a lot more "in charge" these days about what goes on with my body and who I want to be part of my medical team. Anyone with a negative attitude ain't gonna last long with me!

I've got.........Addie-tude! Try it...you might like having Addietude, too! And I bet your brother will love it.

[DianeR]

Donna,

Your story made me cry because I could so relate to it with my dad. My dad went to an oncologist office where there were 5 different doctors. You did not always have the same doctor every visit. My dad liked the first two doctors he met with but on his third visit he got a doctor who was very rushed and came in stating that they were giving him a new med Zometa (for bone mets). Dad asked what this med was for and he said it is because he was Stage IV with bone mets and his prognoisis is 3 months without chemo and 8 months with chemo. The doctor was very crude and just blurted this out. I wouldn't have believed that anyone could be so cruel but I was there. I can still remember the look on my dad's face. It still haunts me to this day. I will never forgive this doctor.

My dad had been told previously that he was Stage IIIb or IV but would be treated the same. Never told about any bone mets up until that time. It was just the way this doctor told him...so cold and no compassion.

My dad requested he never see this doctor again but I feel the damage was already done. He had taken all the hope and the fight my dad had away. I believe it really makes a difference to keep the hope and fight going to help win this battle.

My vet had more compassion for my dog when she was old and frail and had to be put to sleep.

To this doctor my dad was just another patient in a busy office. To me he was the greatest man I ever knew.

I wish your brother all the best and I agree he should stay away from this doctor. He needs to feel there is hope and options. Good luck.

Diane

[Donna]

Hi Diane,

First let me say, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad..I also lost my dad and never got over it..He is gone 20 years, and I still cry like it was yesterday..It is amazing how many people go through the abuse of some Doctors..Some are so compassionate, and others so crude..Diane, I am a firm believer of what goes around comes around..One day, these Doc's might need some compassion, and they will get an attitude like they gave their unfortunate patients..

Thanks so much for your message, it means so much to have caring people in our lives..

God Bless You,

Donna