Debi Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Okay, I hope no one takes this the wrong way.. Have any of you run into someone who you haven't seen for a while and they look at you like they've seen a damn ghost?? It happens now and then when I see someone I haven't seen in a year or two and they know that I had been diagnosed with lung cancer. There is like this unspoken question in the air, you can almost hear them thinking "You're STILL alive???". Yesterday I ran into my old landlord's wife in a store and I swear, she actually looked like she saw a ghost. Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline and stayed there. She just stared at me and when she finally spoke, she said, in a surprised tone, "You look good???". This has happened to me before, in several different variations. Even when I go for my follow up with my Oncologist from hell, he looks at my reports and says, puzzled (and I swear to God, he has actually scratched his head while saying it), "wow, everything looks good". (This, of course, was the same man who when he first saw me told me that I have a very aggressive cancer and it will be back). Yeah Dr., thanks for the vote of confidence, again! Anyway, I'm not really complaining, I am glad to be here to surprise people! I was just wondering if anyone else has any ghost stories to report .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Yes, Lucie gets this all the time, even from doctors other than her oncologists. For example, she sees her pulmonologist every three months or so and he just beams and marvels at her every time. We kinda like it and find it complementary, because it means she has beaten the odds. When we consider among our church family that the three women who had lung cancer diagnosed at the same time as Lucie are gone, we feel good about the label of "miracle lady". Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 I like it; like Don says, I find it complimentary. I think I will, however, scare the hedouble toothpicks out of all the folks at my former workplace who assume I am deader than a doornail. I am sure that they think that I am long gone. Hoping that I am long gone. That way their consciences would be clear. I think that I might shake up their consciences again. Abandonment is cruel. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Hi Geri, I could understand people who think they see a ghost as they are not informed like we are. To many of them think LC is a death sentence. What shocks me is that you are 1A, and after 2 years the doctor is surprised that you are doing so well???I don't understand that. Maybe I am missing something here. I am really confident that Joel will be okay as he is IB. He had his operation, the margins were clear, had the chemo. I am really not freaked about his upcoming CT at the end of the month. I just know it will be alright because I feel he should be. But maybe I am wrong and should worry. Maybe this doctor should take a refresher course on LC 101. Take care Geri, Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Yes, I feel that way too sometimes. Not that the people are not very well intentioned, it's just that I think they were not expecting me to be around this long because of what they know and what they've experienced with others they know. I think that's why I absolutely go crazy out of my way to look FANTASTIC whenever I go to a wedding, graduation, party or any other kind of get together where people know me. And it's probably not because of any way they treat me or don't treat me, it's all in my own head. Anyhow, it feels good to be one of those who can be thinking, "Fooled you, didn't I?" Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaffie Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Debi, I don't undersatand your doctor acting like that. He'd scare the bejeevers out of me, you are a 1A, you have a very good chance of this never returning. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonni Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Hi Debi...smiling reading your post...guess you fooled them huh??...Since I have been dx and of course that kind of news travel's like wild fire...sometime ..I should really say a lot of times...I will run across some one that I haven't seen in a while and I will automatically say...'Hey how ya doing"...and they will respond...How are YOUUU doing???... Gosh why are people like that? We are trying to forget...so why can't they.... Deb...I would have went to a different 'onc'...don't be scratching your head buddy....this is ME....ha Hope everyone is doing well..I have you all in my prayers day and night...hugs to all....Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jang Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Debi, That is so funny. What I hear all the time is "you look great". I've gained 15 lbs. since surgery. I guess they expected to see me skinny, pale and bald. I don't know... but I don't look great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 I saw my GP awhile back and I made a comment that I am stressed out, my mom, blah blah. ANd he said "isn't she dead?". I was like NO!!!! And he said "didn't you call asking for an oncologist, she had lung cancer". I was like YES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Oh, yes..... While in the hospital last week I saw a woman I hadn't seen in several years. Her first response was "Oh my GOSH! You're STILL ALIVE!" I responded with "Yes, in spite of ALL of the screw ups I am still here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Yea, I hear you. I run into people all the time that just stare. They don't say it, but I know they're thinking, shi_, she's still alive and looks good. I get a great deal of satisfaction in telling them that yes, I feel good and look good. I'm not planning on going anywhere soon. So there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enyaw061032 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 I think it's what people don't say that says it all. Many people act like they want to run away from me! They say "you don't look sick." I say "well, you know, you can't judge a book by its cover!" There Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 My wonderful sister (who until my diagnosis I hadn't spoken to in about 3 years) kept quizing my children when she would see them (along with my ex-husband)about what was going on with me. she called me occasionally but I never told her too much. She was always the drama queen of our extended family (my father was one of 18 children!) and always gossiped about everyone. She told the "family" about my diagnosis, treatments, treatment failures, surgery and finally that I was a stage 4-inoperable LC patient(which was true at the time) and that I would certainly DIE and people should come and visit me very soon. she also began to contact a lawyer to adopt my children as my death was eminent. Well, now 4 years later I run into people all the time that honestly look like they have seen a ghost. You can read it on their faces "I thought she was DEAD". It is almost comical... they also say "wow, you look good" like it's the most impossible thing in the world to believe. What am I supposed to look like... bloated, bald, hospital gowned, trailing an IV pole behind me dripping Chemo into my brusied and swollen arms? Guess what world.. Cancer doesn't mean instant death... lots of people are living with cancer!!! I plan to live a whole lot longer... just to irritate my sister I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Living well is the best revenge.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richinsdakota Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Havent yet had the experience, tho neighbors and relatives all ask "how you doin?" normal, I guess... Anyway, if they keep treating u like a ghost, do like celebrities do, go out in disguise...get a real sick looking mask to wear when u got out in public..so youll look like they expect u too... Course Im sure its not funny when that happens...and sorry it does...but Ill bet u handle it creatively, as u do most things..? Rich B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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