jdjenkins Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 I really need some advice on how to handle my Dad's current state of depression. He has absolutely no quality of life left. He is afraid to be left alone and is afraid to leave the house. He can barely walk to the bathroom. He walks all hunched over and his arms and hands shake alot. He cries several times each day and really does not join in on conversations. This weekend he had his three daughters, two son-in-laws, wife, and five grandchildren at his house all day. He barely talked to any of us. Just sat on his chair all day long. When we all left he cried and cried. My Mom is getting depressed also. She can't go anywhere without him making her feel guilty. He does not do anything for himself, but refuses any outside help. We are not sure how much of this is from the chemo (Altima & Avastin) and how much is mental illness. His family has a long history of mental illness, but before he was dx he was good and enjoying life. He is already taking Ativan and Zoloft for depression, but refuses to get any other help. I'm not sure what to do next. Everyone (brother and sisters) tells me I will never be able to change him and to just let him be. If I do that I'm afraid I will lose my Mom also. I don't know how much more of this she can handle. I spend the most time with my Dad and he relies on me a great deal. I may be easy for my brother and sisters to let him be, but I see him everyday and it breaks my heart. I was thinking of asking his Oncologists how much more time my Dad has in his current condition. If he says my Dad could have 6 or more months left then I will fight to get him to accept some help. If he has less time I don't want to spend it fighting with him to get help. I suppose the Dr. can't really answer that question. The Oncologist is sympathetic about his depression, but really offers no advice for us on this matter. It has been almost one year since my Dad was dx. and he has been unable to truely enjoy one minute of his life since that day. I'm very close to my Dad and it is killing me to see him like this mentally and physically. If anyone has any good advice for me I would be most grateful. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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