mamasbabygirl Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 It's worse than worrying about taking her to the soccer game. She called at the last minute and said she can't go. She cried and told me the walk is too far, but that she is so sad that she won't be able to see Graden have his soccer pictures made. I begged her to go, reassuring her I had a wheelchair and she said she can't, through her tears. I am so sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 How very unfortunate for both of you. I just wish your mom could get past the being in the wheel chair thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 ((((hugs)))) to you. It's awful what this stuff does to people's normal lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 I'm so sorry Lori. I hate that cancer has such an impact on all the little things as much as on all the big things. My thougths and prayers are with you today. Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 Oh Lori, how sad for all of you. It seems like your mom be going through or maybe starting to go through some depression. You might want to get her to the docs to see if she maybe could use some meds that could help her. Poor women, she does not want to lose her independence. But she has to fight first to give herself the courage to gain it back. The meds may help. I don't know. I just feel so bad for you because she was going to go, which must have put you in an up mood. Then the last minute she called to cancel. I do hope you were able to ejoy your son's game and to see him get his picuture taken. I feel things will change for her, and she will be feeling better. But first she has to want to. Please try to get her motivated. Is there any way she can talk to us here. I know we could help her. You mom is in my prayers. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted September 11, 2005 Author Share Posted September 11, 2005 Maryanne, I sure hope you are right. Maybe things will turn around. She knows of this site, she tells people that I use a website and print things out for her to read and that has really given her hope. I have encuraged her to come here, but she is not comfortable in the computer room. I wish she had a laptop. Thnaks again for your encouraging words! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 Lori-- I know how difficult using a wheelchair for your mom is. My Dad has regularly refused to use a wheelchair though he is getting weaker and more unsteady on his feet. Two weeks ago my Dad was scheduled to fly out for a visit since his first grandchild was getting married. I wasn't sure he'd make it here and neither was my sister who was flying with him. I gently asked him several times if he'd use a wheelchair in the airport and he'd say "no". About 2 days before, he said, "yes". Initially, I felt very happy about this because I knew he'd be much safer rather than trying to walk. On the other hand, I felt real sadness because I realized how weak and tired this fiercely independent man was feeling. Now that he has done it once (and unfortunately things did not go real smoothly since at the end of one flight, the airline provided 2 wheelchairs for 3 people!!!), I am hoping that he will do it again and not miss out on things he really wants to do because of difficulty with mobility.What I am trying to say in a long-winded way is that I hope your mom comes around too (I never thought my father would) and doesn't miss out on the things she really wants to do. There is an answer, for this, at least. Good luck. gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 Lori, I know how hard this is on both you and your mom. There may come a time when she is ready to go out, even if it means in a wheelchair. For a while my mom didn't like to be seen with her oxygen, and getting places is tought for her too. I am happy to announce that she did get to a place where she would go to sporting events, even if it meant we had to help her, or carry her O2 for her. How good of you to not make her feel bad for her decision to stay back. This really is a baby step process sometimes, and then other times progress is made by leaps and bounds. At least it is with my mom. Good luck to you this week! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdjenkins Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 I had a very similar experience today. My Dad has never missed one of Nick's hockey games, but today he was just to weak. I went to the game and video taped. After the game we all watched it together at his house. It was good for both Nick and Grandpa. I'm trying to encourage him to go to next weeks game. I said we could get a wheel chair, but he didn't seem to interested. It was very hard on me not to have my Dad there today. I think it was harder on me than on my son. Dad has always been so involved with the team and coaches. Everyone knows Grandpa Jim. I will keep working on the wheelchair issue and maybe we can get him there next weekend. I hope you have good luck with your Mom also. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy c Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 Lori, maybe your mother knows just how weak she really is. Maybe, it's not about pride. Maybe, she doesn't have energy to go and it's hard to face. Just give her lots of love!!!! God bless, Nancy C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyS Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Lori, Because my mum is fiercly independent, we had trouble convincing her to use a wheelchair, but once she realised she could go from one room to another in it and realised it actually gave her back a bit of independence, she accepted it! She was a bit hesitant to go out in it at first but because she loves going to opportunity shops, we used this to talk her round. After that it didn't seem a problem for her anymore. At the moment she does not need it, and she quickly sent it back...but I know that when she does need it again, there won't be such a fuss about it. Hope your mum realises the same. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Lori, I am so sorry for this. it must be so upsetting. hopefully, she'll become more open to the wheelchair. my mom swore if she was still on O2 she wouldn't go out with the tank - well, guess what she did this weekend? I can only imagine what it's like for them. patience, hon. this stuff is SO hard. xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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