bronbear Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Hi all! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but things have been quite hectic. It all started last Thursday when my dad was rushed to the emergency room with pneumonia. He was admitted and put in a room and his pulse rate went up to 180. They were afraid he was going to have a heart attack so they put him in ICU for two days. They then flew him out to the city so he could get better and more intensive care. Long story short, he was not expected to make it, but he fought like crazy and surprised everyone. He was told that they might could do a procedure on him that would break up the tumor and he needed to get his strength back for that. He looked so much better and was starting to feel some hope again. I went back to work today after keeping a vigil by his hospital bed for the past week and a half and my mom just called and said that the oncologist said that he would be released soon and that there was nothing more they could do for him. My heart is just breaking for him. He fought so hard just to be told that he is going to die. They said it could be weeks or months, but that my mom should call hospice and line things up for him. We have been on such a roller coaster this past week - I can't believe that doctors can be so cruel. If they just let him believe that he had something to fight for just to do this to him, what is the humanity in that? I just feel sick right now and angry too. The one thing I hoped for him was that when he was so sick with the pneumonia, if he had to pass away that he wouldn't know what was happening and that he would just go to sleep and not wake up. I can't bear the thought of him knowing that this is it. How do you as a loved one put on a brave face for someone when your heart is breaking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melindasue37 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I wish I had some great advice for you. But, what a very heartbreaking situation you are in. It has to be so discouraging for your Dad to have them tell him there is nothing else they can do. I can't even imagine how I would react. I'm SURE your strength will come from within when you need to be strong. (It's amazing how much we can really pull off when we need to.) And I'm sure your father knows how much you love him....but I would continue to let him know how much he means to you and that you will be by his side through the journey ahead. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Please keep us posted. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I guess my question is are you really sure he is out of options? I mean why not switch the chemo? Have you had a second opinion? I think its worth a shot if he feels like fighting. We have lots of members that were given bad news and are still here laughing their patooties off. Maybe its time to check into trials...think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I'm with Rochelle on this one. It's all just such a lousy, painful situation for all of you. I'm sending you my caring thoughts and strength that somehow whatever is for your dad's highest good will happen. Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Bronwen, What a terrible time. I can feel your frustration, and I can imagine how hard this is for you. I wish there were some magical words I could give you. I pray that you will find the strength you need, but I hope you will remember that it is OK for you to show some emotion as well. Take care of yourself. , Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 You have wonderful advice and support here. we will offer faithful prayer for you family. All our best wishes. pat and brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 I just want to give you a ((((hug)))) I hope you find some other options. We're here for you whatever you find. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Prayers for you and your dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 add me to the prayer squad. I would probably investigate, too, if your dad really still feels like fighting...it can't hurt to look for options. I'll keep you all in my thoughts. xoxo bunny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 I don't know how you get through it, but you just do.... and I pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Good advice here to exhaust all options, however, being wary of pipe dreams. I will pray for wisdom for you that you will know what to do. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 I am so sorry things are not going well...I so know what you are feeling. The day we called Hospice in for my dad was a difficult one. Please know you are in my prayers. Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 My Ten Cents on the subject: If and when I am told that there isn't anything that can be done I will go out and find another hospital or facility or Physician who has the guts it will take to try to help me stay alive. I've done this several times over the years. Heck, I may have left one place/physician because they were not helpful at some point in time, and if they do something to convince me that they are interested in helping me now I'll go back to them or their facility. I've done that a couple of times, too. I'll do what I must, go where I must, put up with pain and sickness and what ever I must put up with in order to be able to continue living. Because I can still find the good in this life. It isn't easy, but it is WORTH the trouble I go to keep on living. Ask for clarification on who said to call in hospice, and then ask for a referal to go elsewhere. But only after you've asked the person who has the cancer if they want to continue to be treated or if they are the one who actually wants Hospice called in. Wishing you all only the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppie Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Adding Bronbear to my prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I am sorry you are in such a tough situation. I agree with others that if your dad has the strength and desire, seek treatment elsewhere. Also, sometimes, people get their strength back and rebound while in hospice and then continue treatment. In any case you, your dad and the rest of your family have my prayers. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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