berisa Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Today when I went to see doctor near my home, in the clinic I saw a grandmum & a son with a baby, whom I guess its the grandchild of the grandmum, the grandmum loves the baby very much, always kiss him, always play with him. The son just sat next to them and sometimes talked to his mum but always looking at his baby. I suddenly thought of dad. I was so envy them at that moment, dad had been expecting the day that he can take care of his grandchildren, this was what he's longing for, but it never happened to him and me. I could be the son, he could be the grandmum.....I then teared. When I walked back to home after seeing the doctor, some scenes - in hospital, in my home after diagnosis talking about his childhood, falling into sleep uncontrollably bcoz of the meds, i helped him walking and the conversation, he was crying while talking to sister over the phone on the bed in Hospital that first being informed of the brain mets, dad's tearing while he heard of mum's crying in the toilet inside the private room in hospital. It makes me so sad..... I wish dad could be here, that's my regret, my heartache. It's been almost 17 months, I still can't hold my tears....I prayed to God that let Dad be happy now, let him having the best life now. Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 I understand and am thinking of you . (((Berisa))), Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 sweetie, I am so sorry. I wish I could say something that would help. just know we're here, and people here undoubtably understand and symathize. hugs, and loving prayers. xoxo bunny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Berisa, Your Father was a lucky man to have been so well loved and so missed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 I hate what this has taken from us, Berisa. It is so unfair. I get jealous too... Just know that I am hurting with you and for you and if I could, I'd fly to Hong Kong right now just to give you a hug and eat ice cream and talk about our parents that we loved so much. love, Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 (((Berisa))) Thinking of you and hoping today is a better day for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 (((((((((((Berisa)))))))))) I know your dad felt so very loved to have a special daughter like you. I'm sure he is looking down and smiling on you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LynneH Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Berisa, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I know there is no amount of "memories" that can make up for not having your Dad here, but try to think of the wonderful memories also. I find that on some days, that kind of helps to balance out the pain. Take care, Lynne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Oh sweet (((((Berisa)))))) My heart aches for you. I know just how you feel. I remember feeling just like you do when I lost my dad. I also wanted to tell you how much I like that new picture of your wonderful dad. He was a very NICE LOOKING MAN!! Love the new Pic of him. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. (((BERISA))))) Love & Hugs, Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Dear Berisa, I know how bad it feels, I ache for my sweet dad everyday..Its soo hard at times to shake off those awful memories but we know we must try..I pray that we can all someday find peace and heal from this.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patut Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Berisa, has it really been 17 months already? For me it has been 9 months and it seems like only yesterday. I understand how you are feeling. The photo of of your Dad is wonderful. It is good to hear from you. Cyndy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Berisa, My friend: I can't believe your Dad has been with God for seventeen months already.... I am sure it is still painful, and I am pretty sure it always will be. That is how I feel, I don't think I will ever get to the point where I am okay with Dads passing..... I think of you often... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Berisa, I am sorry for your pain. I am sorry for all of our pain. I wish somehow it would all go away, but I don't think it ever will. The hurt is too deep. It has been 18 months since my Dad passed and it still hurts terribly. Sometimes the scenes go through my mind like looking through a picture book or watching a video. Some are happy memories, others are the painful days, but they are all still there, but so is the love...the love can never be taken away. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I understand how you feel and I know our Dad's are in peace now in a happy place watching over us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaffie Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Berisa, There will always be good days and bad days, entually the bad days will get further apart but you will always have a piece of your heart that is missing. No matter how old we get mom and dad will always be "mommy and daddy". Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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