Kel M Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I can hardly believe that a whole year has passed; that it represents 365 days, 52 weeks or 12 months of life after Mom died on May 24, 2005. It's hard for me to appreciate the fact that I'm still here - I really thought that a part of me had died right along with her that day. After the numbness of her death wore off, it hurt to breathe. I felt physical pain at the idea of never seeing her again and I begged God to make the pain go away. Needless to say, my pain wasn't to be 'managed' that way. I learned to embrace my grief, realizing that it was now a part of me. I cried, I wrote angry journal entries and I even devoured grieving books - all in the hopes that my world would make sense again. I felt lost; alone even. With more time, I realized that a part of me hadn't died right along with Mom. Instead, her spirit was blossoming in me. I found myself using her expressions as well as hearing (and heeding!) her words of advice. She's inside me - my very own moral compass internalized! Before she died, Mom made me promise to live a good life and to be happy. I would have promised her anything at that point, but a year later, having made it through the fog of grief, I can fully appreciate what a 'good' and 'happy' life means to me. I am so grateful to each and everyone of you, who in your own ways have sustained me with kind thoughts and words. I am grateful to my family and friends for their love and support. I am grateful to my Mom, for without her grace none of this would be possible. I love you and miss you so very much, Sweet Pea. Kels xo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Kelly, I pray that each and every co-survivor on this site can get to the place that you are. I am so proud of you for keeping your promise. You are an inspiration for so many-me especially!!! Much love to you and yours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Kelly, I know that I have said this before but it definitely worth repeating. When I die (although I believe that should say IF I die) I absolutely want my children to continue to live happy and useful lives. I just want them to remember me with a smile on their face, remember me with love and feel joy that I had been their Mother. It looks like you are accomplishing this. Good for you, you are making your Mother happy, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Kel. You are so dang loveable, I can hardly stand it. Your Mom would be very proud of you, honey. Thank you for sharing your wisdom again with all of us. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 ((((Kel)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 What a sweet tribute to your mother. thanks for sharing it and and encouraging others with your experiences. Sure appreciate that. God bless you. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thank You So very Much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thank You So very Much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thank You So very Much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thank You So very Much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thank You So very Much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Wow, Kel! Those were awesome words. God bless you! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 sorry I think I had a glitch earlier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdjenkins Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Thank you for this post. It gives me hope that someday I too will figure out life without my Dad. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Kel, Your loving, thoughtful post brought tears to my eyes. Your mom was so very lucky to have you for a daughter! God Bless you, Kel Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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