stand4hope Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 I don't know why the link doesn't work right, it's the right web address After you click the link, remove the period after "htm" and it will work, or if Linda can edit her post, she can remove the period after "htm". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted August 6, 2006 Author Share Posted August 6, 2006 Thank you all for the concern and the advice. I am feeling a bit more sane today. I was just having a hard time dealing with everything changing, and so fast. My life seemed out of my control. I think I am going to try and talk to a financial advisor. I did talk to a bank about what they felt I could do with loan amounts and mortgages, but not a full financial picture. I'm not sure what they can do, but hopefully something. I've tried to do things to make it so I can stay here long enough to build up the strength to pack Keith's things. I have already taken in a roomate (but there is no one willing to pay even close to half, but he has made it possible for me to eat). I couldn't rent the house because the mortgage is so high that in this price range there are no renters, only buyers. Keith was always a wonderful provider, he made an excellent living which afforded us a lot of comfort. About a year before Keith was diagnosed we bought this land with the idea we would sit on it until later in life when we could afford it. After diagnosis we were going to sell it, but the bank convinced us that there would be more equity in a house than just the land, and we could afford it. We planned our dream home, but unfortunately our builder was a crook, and drained us of almost all our savings (over $50K) and left us with an unfinished house. Legal costs following took more of our money, and we finally just gave up because we learned that we would win, but the builder had all his assets in his girlfriends name, so we'd win but get nothing back. We lived here the past 2 years, and had just started building up our savings again. Then Keith went on disability. He only received 60% pay so we had to use a little savings. The rest went to the funeral, and I still owe the funeral home over $5K. There was no life insurance, even through his employer, SS only pays me when I turn like 72 (my retirement age). I have no money left and nothing to invest. My family is loving but without money so there is no source of help there. Keith's family is quite well off, and when I asked for help or a loan for the funeral expenses I was met with incredulous rejection. They are all pretty money motivated and have never parted with a dime in their lives. The good thing I guess is that other than the mortgage and the bills to maintain utilities, and a car payment I have no other debt. Keith didn't believe in credit cards, so if we wanted something we had to pay cash. If we couldn't afford it then we didn't need to get it at that time. I work full time, but I've taken a second job 2-3 days a week doing bookkeeping for a cabinetry company. I've even taken a third job bartending weekends 15-20 hours a week (other than this next week I will be working the state fair for the bar for 7 hours a night every night). And after assessing everything I'm still around the $1000 short. I'm just so tired which doesn't help, and the other day I almost felt like giving up. It is just so hard and I feel so much self pity for what my life has become from what it was. I'm not materialistic, I would give up everything if Keith was with me. But the idea of losing Keith, and all the things he loved and worked so hard to earn and that made him so happy breaks me apart. Plus the idea of touching his things, moving them, packing them away is unbearable. Everything in my house is EXACTLY as he left it, I've even instucted my roomate that he is to touch NOTHING. I'm just not ready, but I know I don't have any options. The home market in this area is terrible right now in this price range. The house 3 doors down from me is priced over $60 under estimated value, and $20K under tax assessed value because they need to sell for a job transfer and it has been on the market for 19 months now. (And there house is much nicer than mine). So realistically my head knows I need to get it on the market right away because it can take months to sell. In the mean time I can't make full payments and don't want to lose it to a bank. And in order to sell quickly there will be little to no equity in it. So I know I have to do it now, but my heart is just breaking. I'm just so not ready. Sorry this got so long... I thought I was feeling better today, but as I typed I guess it is still sort of raw inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 Carleen, glad you expressed it all here. You need that. Please continue to let us be a sounding board for you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mom'sGirl Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 Oh, Carleen, my heart breaks for you. I can't believe you have to deal with this on top of your grieving. I'm sure you've already checked into all this - but is there any life insurance money that can cover this (or some of it?) Have you fully explored with your husband's place of employment any policies he might have had? Also, someone mentioned Social Security...although I'm not sure if you can draw on your husband's, even as a survivor, if he was not at retirement age. I read your previous e-mail about missing your husband, and I can only imagine how that feels. I am married with two small kids and a third on the way, and it's hard to think of how painful it would be. It sounds like you and your husband were truly soulmates, and I pray that you find some peace out of all of this sorrow.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 Carleen take a copy of death certificate to your social security office for the next 2 years and they will cut a check for survivors benefits of 255.00 that is what i was told. Can not collect until retired. Not much but every little bit helps right now. Can you join aCredit uniion in your area? Much better rates on Home Mortgage than a regular Bank. Just a thought. REFUSE TO LOSE AND ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING!!!! Never give up. Prayers and Positive energy to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KerryToo Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 My apologies re: the Social Security coverage. I have children so the survival benefits are immmediate, not retirement age. My best to you, Carleen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Ok Carleen, I'm going to give you some advice, (but like my grandfather says, "Advice is something you've already made up in your mind to take." ) *I agree with speaking with a financial person/advisor. But before you speak w/ one you need to list what your assets are ( equity in your home, car(s), any savings, even an estimate of what the content of items in your house}. This will give you an idea of what potential cash (flow) you may have. *List your bills ( mortgage, taxes ( I live in Taxaschuetts so this is a big one for me!), car pmts, insurance, utilities, food. *You need to see is there any way of possibly cutting down on those bills, for example: *Do you have homeowners insurance? - if you do perhaps you can up the deductible to lower your payments. The same is true if you have car insurance. *Talk to your utility companies about budgeting. You can explain your situation. Especially with your heating, because I'm sure it gets mighty cold where you are at. *Also what kind of mortgage do you have? You may ( even though it is probably one of last things you can do) refinance, with cash back, or for a longer term, there now are 40 and 50 yr mortgages. I understand that you probably will be selling the house whether it be sooner or later, but you need the cash. *Unfortunately, you probably are stuck w/ ss. until you retire or go on disability. I have a good friend who works at SS, I will talk to him. I am taken back by Keiths' family! I know they are grieving too, but not to be there for you I just don't understand. Is there anyone in Keiths' family that who listen to you? Right now, I know your head is spinning, but don't look at the big picture. Just take some small steps in working on this. You don't want to rush into anything and make a big mistake. You need the time for you, to grieve, heal, emote. ( also don't worry about the r.e. market, when it comes down to that time in the future, I can help you out) ***Carleen, we won't let you end up in a bad situation!!! Take Care, Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jduenges Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Dear Carleen, I feel very badly for you. To have to worry about finances after just loosing your husband. You barely had any time to grieve. It sounds like you had some good financial advice in a lot of these posts. I would hate to have you make such difficult decisions during this time. My thoughts are with you, Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitzu Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Wallow for a bit, set a deadline for the pity party, and pull yourself up. God doesn't hate you, you have your health, a job and possibilities. Slow down the spin cycle and look around with an honest eye and make the most of the positives. You're pretty smart, too, THINK before jumping into anything - if the real estate agent isn't a good friend or trusted family member, remember that it's all about the money for them and NOT your welfare. Have you thought of buying a condo instead of a house? You should definitely spaeak to a financial planner. I hope you find a way to work it out. God's Blessings, Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitzu Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 1613 Grey Fox Tl Unit: A Mukwonago, WI 53149 MLS ID#: 827895 $179,900 2 Bed, 2 Bath 1,324 Sq. Ft. Estimated payment: $910 Per Month* Change Assumptions Check Local Rates Save This Listing Send to a Friend Send to your REALTOR® Condo/Townhome/Coop Property, County: WAU, Year Built: 2006, Two story, Central air conditioning, Fireplace(s), Laundry room To access this webpage directly, use http://realtor.com/Prop/1058714865 This listing is brokered by: Kathleen & Associates, LLC. Office: (414)881-1836 Property Features -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Condo/Townhome/Coop Property County: WAU Year Built: 2006 New construction 2 total bedroom(s) 2 total bath(s) 2 total full bath(s) 5 total rooms Approximately 1324 sq. ft. Two story Type: First floor location, Condo, Single level Master bedroom Living room Kitchen Laundry room Bathroom(s) on main floor Bedroom(s) on main floor Master bedroom is 12 X 12 Living room is 19 X 14 Dining room is 9X8 Kitchen is 10 X 7 Fireplace(s) Fireplace features: Gas 2 car garage Attached parking Heating features: Forced air heat, Gas Central air conditioning Interior features: Carpet in liv/great rm, Carpet, Master bedroom on main floor, Carpet in master bedrm, Breakfast bar, Dishwasher, Disposal, Gas fireplace, Laundry in unit, Master bathroom, Microwave oven, Natural gas water heater, Oven, Range, Refrigerator, Living/great room Exterior features: Outside entrance, Patio/porch, TV cable available Exterior construction: Brick accent, Vinyl siding Roofing: Composition No pets allowed Call agent for details on association fee info. School District: Mukwonago Find out more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Carleen, I agree with the others, I wouldn't rush into buying anything at this stage. It would be better to rent an apartment for a while until you can think clearly and unemotionally, again. Strength and peace to you, Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Ms. Carleen, Girl...you stay strong! Your house situation will mend, and you will decorate it adoringly no matter the size!!! Know I am thinking about you, and wishing you well. God bless, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MalouDP Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Hi Carleeen: I know all your pain. My husband has been gone 2 months now, and I refused to touched any of his closets and even keep his TV room closed. I am not in any shape to make a serious move like selling my house. Please do take your time, maybe put an ad on the paper for a roomate, every little bit will help. I prayed for you yesterday at church. We must claim our victory, God is still good and we still have a lot of living left to do. I applaud you for your strength and keeping yourself busy with work. In my case, it is a good day if I can complete my 9-5 job. I drown myself with all the worship and praise songs. God have blessed me so much and my husband did left me a little financial security, so it helped quite a bit in that area. Please keep your chin up woman! We must live in faith not by sight. I love you my friend. Nobody could understand our pain except those who lose their beautiful soulmates like ours. Malou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 Oh Carleen, I'm thinking and praying for you all the time!I know it doesn't seen possible but everything works out. (((((HUGS)))) Love, Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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