Nutbar Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 I sent an internal email to my boss requesting that I leave an hour early so I could talk to a therapist about what is going on in my life. My boss is well aware of my situation. I take less time off than anyone in the whole company does. I rarely ever take any time off, not even vacation!!! I explained to him that I didn't like to take time from my job for this but that it was something I really needed to do and they didn't schedule after hour appointments. His response to me was, "fine, take the time, we will just have to unplug the phones." I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive right now but I am very hurt. I feel like leaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Don't feel that way NB! You're going to come across many people who just don't understand. Don't worry about the job --- sounds like you're a very good employee, you got that to stand by. But just in case, keep a small record of when you need to leave early, or use time. For you and your peace of mind. Listen, dealing w/ all of this is so overwhelming! to hell w/ the boss if he doesn't understand! Also, don't be a mrytr (sp) to your job! If you have vac. or personal time and you need it, take it! Just remember you got more people behind you!!!! Take the time for you! Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TamHol Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Don't worry about him ..... he's just jealous that he can't just up and go from his job as easily as you can. If he really makes a fuss remind him that if you don't take care of this problem outside work .... you'll be bringing it to work. Remind him he may have to use those quick reflexus to avoid a stapler coming for his head one day. Just cover your butt and notify him of the appointment schedule with advance notice ... he doesn't have a leg to stand on with advance notice. Don't worry about inconviencing them ... they'll appreciate the efforts your taking sooner or later! Don't forget about the HRDC compasionate caregiver leave ...... you still have that in your back pocket. I work in payroll just email if you want or need info. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 If the job pays well and you usually like it, keep it. Maybe the problem is that if you take a vacation or a full day off, they bring someone in to cover the phones, yet by leaving early, you truly are inconveniencing them. I would suggest, if the problem is covering just an hour, that you take a full day off as vacation, plan your appointment in the morning and then go to a salon for some pampering - massage, manicure, and/or pedicure. Since everything planned will be "all about you", it'll be a mini-vacation and will help even more, I promise. I have a pretty good job, but the phones have to be answered. If the phones are covered, I can take time off, but otherwise, I know better than to ask. I have many, many appointments and try to schedule them at the beginning or end of the day so travel time both ways doesn't add to my time away from the desk. I would not suggest saying anything to the boss that may be construed as a threat. You could very easily be terminated for that AND it will follow you to other jobs. Also, my counselor DOES work late one night a week. Those appointments go fast, though. You may want to shop around a bit more for a counselor that works better with your schedule, as well. If you feel you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Good luck, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TamHol Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Hey Becky ... and Nutbar! It needs to be reminded that Nutbar and I are in Canada. We don't get fired because we have a doctors appointment or stress related etc ... I do agree with the full day idea though. Occationally that will work but if your visiting the theropist once a week ... you can be fired for excessive time off. As I said there is the Caregivers leave ... that is your edge. Find out a schedule of appointments that take the least amount of time away from work ie: the first or last appointment of the day so you only loose a 1/2 hour. Talk to your co-workers and see if one or two can and are willing to fill in for you during those times. Then go to your boss and sit down with him and discuss the appointment schedule and go from there. If he is uncooperative remind him the alturnative is to take the caregivers leave for a max 6wk's (2wk unpaid waiting time applies). That is a harder time frame to cover your work and the phones for him ... he'll see the lesser of two evils. If not...request the caregivers leave immediately ... not only will he have to secure your employment for 6 weeks and go through that hassle. But he still owes you your vacation time for the year as well. That vacation time and money accured is not expected to be taken at the time of the leave, nor can it be forced since the leave is made to catter to the spontinaitiety of an illness. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Yes, you're too sensitive. I don't know what it is about going through this but things that would never ever bother me before really get to me. So I say let it go, it's not worth worrying over. Next time, say you have a doctor appointment, don't elaborate. He might have thought it wasn't important enough to miss work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutbar Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 I was being too sensitive. I spoke to my boss and told him I would cancel my appointment and figure out something else and he said he was only joking and by all means I should go. Sorry, everyone. I feel like a mental case! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Nutbar Don't apologize. As Ry said, this whole cancer scene gets under our skin and it makes the little things that "normally" would never bug us, seem huge. We understand.... I am glad it worked out with your boss. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TamHol Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Good to hear .... I was hoping he didn't actually mean it in one way or another ... but you just never know with bosses these days. However, he should've wondered if you'd "get" the joke ... but that's neither here, nor there ...... just an oops! This means he will be understanding in the future ... so chalk this up as a "good to know" experience! Good Luck to you! Keep that caregiver info on file for a later date if needed. It's amazing how many people don't know about it. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Don't apologize nutbar...what you just did was remind all caregivers that this time is a tough time...don't make any drastic changes in your life. Accept that things aren't the way you would like them...but try to hang in as best as possible. Especially work...tkae the time you need, if there is flack, let it roll off you back for now, deal with the REAL crisis (the health of your loved one)...when the crisis is over, then make decisions. I almost quit my job immediately after I found out about mom's diagnosis...but I just prioritized...tried to leave most things intact, and that certainly was best in my case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beat it Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Nutbar Your honesty and senitivity are so helpful to the newbies here. Sometimes I see so much medical knowledge I wonder if anyone feels like I have sometimes. I am greatful to your posting!!!! Hey, Who hasnt mis-interpeted their boss anyway?? Beat it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j's girl Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I once had an amazing boss who told me to "work to live" not "live to work". That has stayed with me for over 10 years and I think it's a great approach to work. Good for you for ironing things out with your boss. Extra tension in the work place can make things a lot harder. It's better to know up front where every thing is at. I think sometimes people try to use humour to break the tension when they don't know what else to do. His remark about unplugging the phones may even have been an attempt (althought completely misguided) at making you feel indispensible. Your situation reminds me of Christmas last year at my in-laws. It was just after my Mom's dx and my s-i-l and I were discussing cancer while playing cards when my b-i-l told us to "cut the small talk" and get back to the game. I was so hurt by the comment I didn't sleep at all that night. In hind sight I know he didn't mean it the way I thought he did. Keep up the fight. Shauna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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