Michele's blog

[Michele Bellinger]

Hello, My name is Michele Bellinger I live in Tampa Fl; I'm married, have a son and a 3yr old grandaughter. I was diagioised with NSCLC Friday the 17th, I have not told my son or my family yet. I am scared and depressed. I cannot eat or sleep. I have not had a PET Scan yet I go on the 22nd of this month for that test. I wasted three months with my soon to be ex-pulmonologist who told me all I had was an infection that will not go away; even after the bronchial scope he told my husband and I that there was no sign of cancer. I have made an appt with the Moffitt cancer center here in Tampa. The Pulmonologist told me my blood work and lymphnodes are in good shape, but I do not trust this Dr. I took care of my brother years ago, he died of a rare cancer, I watched my step father die just a few months ago. I'm not afraid to die...........I'm just not ready. I think its the waiting for results that stresses me out. I'm on no medacations, I have no idea what stage of cancer I'm in. Thanks for reading my blog,I find that these web sites for people with cancer are a blessing, they give me hope. thanks

[Ry]

Welcome to the site. We have other members here that are treated at Moffitt. Once get a definitive diagnosis and a treatment plan let us know-- we're here to help.

Rochelle

[Don Wood]

Welcome, Michele. As Ry says, we are here to support you through this. My personal opinion: tell your son -- he needs to be able to walk this walk with you. Keep us posted. Don

[dadstimeon]

Welcome Michelle.

Rich

[j's girl]

Hi Michele, I am so sorry. I recently lost my Mom to lc and would strongly urge you to tell your son. My Mom kept things to herself at first too. It was after she went to the doctor to get a prescription for anxiety that she told us. We rallied around her, went to all of her appointments with her and I like to think it helped her tremendously.

Also, you definitely need to find a dr that you trust. It will help you physically and emotionally to know you're being well taken care of. Maybe there is something you can take for your anxiety.

Waiting for results is so stressful. You might want to consider talking to your GP about the fact you can't eat or sleep. Those are both important for keeping your strength up for the fight ahead of you.

Keep us posted and take care of yourself.

Shauna

[Linda661]

Michele:

Welcome to this site -- I'm so glad you found us, but I wish you hadn't needed to. As others have said, it would probably be a good idea to tell your immediate family: your son and, personally, I'd add your husband. It's super helpful to have a close family member walk this with you from the beginning of diagnosis through doctor appointments and testing: taking notes, collecting test results, being a second ear to hear what the doctors say, talk through options with and what to consider doing next, coming up with questions to ask your medical team, and such......it's just a lot for one person with this news to do on their own.

Trust in your medical team is going to be crucial as well. Sounds like you're on the right track going to a place like Moffitt (I'm not familiar with it's reputation, but I'm sure others will know).

Of course you're scared and depressed, waiting on testing and those results is h*ll, and you are not alone in that feeling....at least, for today, know that all of us have gone through that, just like you are now. We all also know that this diagnosis is survivable, no matter what "they" tell us at initial diagnosis and staging.

Please keep us posted. When you have a staging and recommendations of treatment options, we'll be able to help more then too.

Hang in there -- you're not alone.....don't dwell backwards on those 3 months with that pulmonologist, look forward: you can do something about it now that you know.

Linda

[MsC1210]

Hello Michele and welcome

I am sorry you had reason to find a site like this, but glad you have joined us.

Please keep posting and let us know how we can help you along the way. We are all here for you and we care.

Chris

[Donna G]

Hi Michelle. Sounds like you are just beginning this journey. There are a lot of tests in the beginning. It is not unusual to be diagnosed with pneumonia etc that just does not "clear" up. That is the beginning of many of us on this journey. It is very stressful but it can be done. You will feel some better when you have a plan in place to attack this beast. Please keep us posted.

Donna G

[recce101]

Michele:

I agree with Don, Shauna, Linda, and probably others by now. Tell your son, and anyone else in your family old enough to understand. If you're anything like most of us, there's absolutely no way you can hide from them the fact that you're under tremendous stress right now. They should know why, even if you don't yet have all the details.

You didn't say how you got the NSCLC diagnosis -- I assume it wasn't from the pulmonologist. If a staging hasn't been established, then NSCLC may be just a tentative diagnosis, and the PET scan should provide more information. But as I understand it (someone please correct me if I'm wrong!), there are things other than cancer which can light up a PET scan, and many doctors will not make a firm diagnosis of cancer without taking one or more tissue samples which test positive for malignancy.

Now let's take it one step further. Even if it is NSCLC, and even if it's Stage IV, that's not an automatic death sentence. NSCLC is so insidious, and can exist for so long with no symptoms, that many, many people go directly from an assumed state of perfect health to confirmed NSCLC Stage IV (or at least IIIB) in just a few weeks. The good news is that recent advances in research have brought some very effective treatments to bear on these cancers. There are lots of Stage IIIB and IV survivors out there -- just browse this site. Though I'm just a newbie at this, I expect to be one of those survivors, and you can be too.

Best wishes and Aloha.

[ernrol]

Michele,

Welcome to the site. You will find a lot of friends here. You will know a lot more after you go to Moffitt. Keep us posted I am right down the street from you in Naples. When you find out what stage and what treatment they plan let us know. Plan on beating whatever cancer you have. When you go for your scans ask for a copy on a CD, then you will always have them if you go somewhere else for a second opinion.

Stay positive,

Ernie

[marym]

Hi Michele,

Who diagnosed your cancer? Moffitt is a very good facility. And they do every test, so they have a clear picture. PET scans show other things than cancer, they show arthritis, and some other things. Usually, after the PET they willarrange for a CAT scan or an MRI in any of the implicated areas.

I needed a few weeks before I shared the news with my family. The diagnosis is so overwhelming, you need some time to accept it.

Try to stay calm to help make the best decision. Ask for a antidepressant, it should help

Good luck.

Mary

[blaze100]

Hi Michele, Welcome to the group.

This is absolutely the worst time. I hope someone gave you prescriptions for Xanax and Ambien because these days are just horrible.

You've had a CT, I wonder if your family doctor got a copy of the report?

A family doc is a good resource right now as they usually have easy access to reports, and they can fit you in with little notice. They can be a great source of general info and reassurance.

Good luck on the CT scan this week.

Barb

[Frank Lamb]

Welcome to our support family.It is my opinion that this is not a walk you should be going on by yourself.

We all need the help and support of our family if possible.

[trish2418]

Welcome to the site, Michelle. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Please let us know how we can support you.

Trish