Dyan Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 My mom passed away on Aug 22 at the age of 53 and I can't handle this! It's just not FAIR!!!! This was not suppose to happen! Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 None of it is fair...none of it is supposed to happen---to anyone. I know how you feel. I'm so sorry for your loss. Katieb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 6 weeks after diagnosis and she was only 53, wow, I see you have been lurking on the board nearly since she was diagnosed sorry I didn't get to know her or you but the pain is still there I know , it will take time for it to ease, I am very sorry. You will be in my prayers, may you and your family have peace. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 So sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. I know this is always hard but in your case yu hardly had time to even begin to adjust to her illness. My husband was 49 when he was diagnosed and had just turned 50 when he died. Cancer has no age discrimination...old and young alike are stricken! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 I am sorry to hear of your mom's passing.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dyan, I am so sorry for your loss. To loss your best friend is so very hard. Stick around here for support. We all need it sometime. Take care of yourself. Shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 I am sorry Dawn, so very sorry. I too know your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dawn, I to noticed that you joined this board sometime ago. I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. I lost my mom 6 months ago to this beast and I can testify that when the acceptance part of grieving finally comes the intense pain lifts some. My mom passed away at 63 and it was a shock, no warning and she was gone within a month. Find someone who you can talk to and who will listen. Talk to your doctor about some medication for a short time. What you are feeling is very normal at this point. You have to work through the pain to get onto the other side. I pray that God will bless you and your family. If you need something pm or email me. Hugs, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dawn, so sorry for the loss of your mother. Life is not fair -- that is the way it is, unfortunately. All we can do is respond the best way we can to what comes our way. I think your mom would want you to remember her and to get on with other things in your life, so something positive can come out of all this for you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dawn: So sorry about your loss. I would like to refer you to the post "Why Do We Come Back", posted by Cathy. Read the responses, and you learn much about this disease. I hope you will stay with us, as we can help each other, survivors, caregivers, family members, and those who survived the passing of one with Lung Cancer. We are all members of a very large family. It is unfortunate that lung cancer has brought us together, but we have each other for much needed support. Again, I am sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dawn, I am truely sorry for the loss of your mom. Mom's are what makes the world go around. Mom's are what makes us feel safe. Mom's are what makes us have love. Mom's are everything good, kind and loving.... You will again see her in eternity. She just has gone ahead to get the place ready for her loved ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dear Dawn, No, it certainly isn't fair! Who would have thought that grown-up life would be so tough??? But who would have wanted to have missed it? I imagine your mom was happy for the time she had here if for no other reason than she got to have you. May God's mercy ease your pain and brighten your memories. I regret the passing of your beloved mother and offer my condolences on her untimely passing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Dawn, I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom and the pain you are enduring. This is not fair! I pray everyday for a cure and that no one will have to experience any of the pain from cancer. I hate this disease!!!!! May you find comfort in your cherished memories. I am sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittlers Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 Dawn, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I agree it is not fair. My mother is suffering from SCLC and it is very hard to see her going through this. I will pray for you and your family. Susan M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I'm so sorry. I know how much you hurt right now. Fay A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyan Posted September 25, 2003 Author Share Posted September 25, 2003 Thanks everyone--Dyan is the one that joined the boards and Dawn is my sister. We were very close to our mom. I live one block from my mom and Dawn lives one block the other way from my mom. I have been lurking around since she was diagnosed and have learned so much from you all. Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayers. Unfortunately an infection caught her in the middle of the night and then she died a few hours later. This is a shock especially since she went out to dinner that night with my dad and grandparents. Dawn and I both talked to her that night and she felt great and the tumor on her lung was almost gone. We feel very cheated and miss her so much!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hersheydaley Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 Dyan, I am sorry for your loss and I know how you feel about being cheated. I have to say though if your mom would have lasted a month, a year, or even more, it still would have not been enough time and you would still feel cheated cause that is how I and my sister and brother feel. We cherished every day we had with my dad until the end and it still was just not enough time. And to see the pain he was in all the time was just to much. There were days when I just prayed for God to take the pain away and then God did, but he also took my dad. I just wish I could have one more day to sit with my dad and rub his arms or hold his hand just to look into his deep blue eyes would be great. And then I think one more day would just not be enough. Dad died on June 18 2003 WE ALL MISS HIM!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debaroo Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 Dyan and Dawn, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult that it must be, expecially since your mothers passing was so quick and unexpected. I hope that you will both stay on here, there is so much support for you-and when you are up to it, maybe you could share a bit more about your mom. I am sorry that I havent gotten to know you all, and hope to see more posts in the future. Take care, deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Dyan and Dawn, I just wanted to say that you're both in my prayers. I know it is so hard to lose someone because of this monstrous disease. I can understand how you feel cheated...like your mom hardly got her chance to fight. I don't know if this will help, but if you can find anything to help you understand this maybe it was good that you didn't have to witness her suffering as much as some cancer victims do at the very end. The reason I say this is that my husband just can't get the last 3-4 days of his father's life out of his head. He is just kind of stuck there, helping his macho dad sit, helping him eat [/i]just one bite please[/i], helping him to the bathroom... His dad became a shell of the man he was in less than 2 weeks and it just blew us all away. He looked very little like this picture of him I have posted, but I love this photo because he is genuinely happy in it and free from any stress or pain! My husband had been praying for a sign that his dad was okay and happy now, and he had a dream that I think was supposed to answer that question for him. Our family was together in the family room at his mom's house laughing and just hanging out, when we heard something in the hall and stairway. My husband went to look and there sat his dad at the top of the stairs, chuckling and looking like he had been listening in on our conversations. I really believe he was trying to communicate that he was okay now and still watching over us. I think our loved ones are there for us even more during this time of grief. It sounds like you were both very close to your mom and I am praying she will have someone to show you she is still close to you, just in a new way. I am praying you find your way through each day in this new surreal world without your dear mom. To quote a dear friend of mine who lost her first husband tragically when they were 22 yrs. old and then became a grief counselor for others for some time, I would add: 1) There is no such thing as ever "getting over" someone. That doesn't exist. People who say to "give it time" may be partially correct, but out of context. While it "does take time", time is all one has, where processing death is concerned. In fact, I have found that having loved ones die actually makes their presence stronger. How? You think of them often, you dream of them often, you sometimes feel that they are also thinking of you. They may become important angels in your life, helping to lead you. They truly are always with you. 2) There is no such thing as "grieving the wrong way". The only way through it, IS through it. 3) Continually check in with yourself and ask: What do I need right now? What do I want right now? Honor the answers that come up as truth for you, that others may not understand. If you have to get up and walk out of a room full of people, that's ok. Whatever you need to do, give yourself permission to do it. Also remember, she is still a part of each one of you and you still have each other. Try to find those happy and grateful moments in between the anger and grief. My heart goes out to you. Keeping you in my prayers, Karen M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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