DanaBrooke Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 It has been 13 days since I lost my mom. The pain is getting worse. Each day is A new day I realize i can't pick up the phone to call my mom. I can't hug her. I have so many things I just need to tell her already. I need her advice. Life is just so unfair. My mom always told me mom's never really leave there daughter's! I am waiting for a sign from her. I just miss her so much. My dad walks around talking to her. He lost his love of his life! Last night my husband and I took my dad out for dinner, the first time in 31 years my dad was out on a saturday night without my mom. I am 28 years old- think I have a pretty good life- great husband- live in nyc in a great apartment- have an amazing puppy but I am missing one of the most important things in my life. MY MOM!!! As amazing as I always thought my life has been- it just will never be the same. How can it? As sick as my mom was she always had the energy to blow me a kiss. I just miss that! People say it takes time. People say she is in a better place. I know my mom wanted to be with us- that's the place she loved! She always said she will not leave this earth without kicking and screaming. Trust me she put up a fight-I know she was kicking and screaming all the way- what a strong amazing person. I just can't seem to think I will ever get over this. yes, I will move forward with my life- just like my mom would of wanted but I will never forget my mom and she will always be with me. It just hurts so bad! I love you mom and miss you so much !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 (((Dana))), Your mother was an amazing woman.......and you are her amazing daughter. Someone here said something like this.....it doesn't get better ~ just different and a bit easier to deal with. That's not helping you right now, I know. From the first time I spoke to your mom, I knew she was so very special. Why life is so unfair sometimes is a question I hope to find the answer to when I move 'on'. I just hope that knowing so many grieve with you helps you carry the pain of this loss just a little bit. I feel her absence from cybespace. I just can't wrap my head around what is must be like for you and your dad. I'll always have Joan AND you and dad in my heart, Dana. Your mom always spoke so highly of you, and after meeting you, I can certainly see why. Come here any time to weep and you have my number and email as well. XOXO, Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 Dana, My heart goes out to you in your sadness. Today is the six month anniversary of my sister's death, and I still feel that deep sadness each day. I know everyone will tell you that time will help heal. And yes, it does help. But for those of us who recently lost a loved one, it's difficult to believe. Keep remembering those funny moments you shared and hold those thoughts. Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 The pain gets duller but will always be there. I know how hward these days are right now. You just want to curl up in bed and scream at the world to go away probably. I know i did when my wife died. I am ayear and a half out and in a little different situation. It was my wife not my Mom. tis still a death basically. Your mom is always watching over you. She is not in pain anymore. God has a plan for everyone, and he alone choses to reveal it to us when he wants. One of the things that always helped me out when I went through all this was to do this, Go out ibn the backyard or wherever you find a little peace and quiet and tranquility. Look up into the stars and Talk to mom. Tell her everything tht happened today. tell her how you feel. Yell, scream, at god for doing this and ask him why he did this to you. Whhen you feel calmer apologize forgettting mad, tell mom you love her and go back inside to whatever you were doing. Mom cvan hear you. You may not get an answer, but she can hear you. God will not get mad at you for being this way right now. He will be ther tomorrow nite to listen again to a rant or a rave, whichever you have. Here is to many raves, not rants. Lots of time under the stars with Mom. Sending Pryers for peace and comfort right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 Yes it really does get better Dana, but you have a long ways to go my dear. Your so in the very early stages. (((((DANA)))))) Let your emotions run there course, there going to anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 Dana I cannot add to what the other wonderful people here have already told you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and this WILL get easier eventually. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 I am very saddenced at the loss of your mother to this awful disease. I pray that you will find comfort in your love and memories of your mother. She was really a great person to know. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 Dana, I lost my mom in September and my grief comes in spurts really. I can be "setoff" by seeing something like mothers/daughters in a car together OR any milestone dates, holidays, when my kids do something that I wish she was there for. You DO have a good life and I know your mom was proud of you. Keep on keepin on Dana, one day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 It never will be the same... but after the gut-wrenching grief stops throwing you down without expecting it, it will be good again. You will live well because you know she wants you to live well. But... be patient with yourself... It didn't 'feel easier' for me for a long, long time. I am only starting to get to a point where it 'feels' a little less debilitating. (((((hugs))))) to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 The answer to your question is yes and no. It will get better for a while and suddenly you will find yourself back to day one. That may have a dozen times or more then one day you realize it has been 3 or maybe 4 years and the pain is not always there weighing you down. It never really goes away but instead of a deep unbearable pain it becomes an ache that you grow so used to that you forget it sometimes. You are still raw and have a long way to go. I pray for you to find peace soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Dana, I don't know if better is the right word. You are 28...your mom left way too early...and that fact doesn't get better. But in the weeks following mom passing away, I realized I had been driving with my radio off. I think I had from the day mom was diagnosed. And then I reached out and turned the radio back on. Is that better? I don't know, but it was a step back to living in many of the ways I had lived before. But I'll never be the same. I don't like better, you get a cold, you get better. It seems to trivial an adjective. But I promise you'll live again. You love all the things about life that your mom loved. You see she lives in so many of the things you do and say. Those will be your signs, Dana. And they'll be plentiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlegirl Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 Well said Nick! Dana - I am so sorry. Hugs to you. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 ((((((((Dana))))))) I think Randy's advice is very good for you right now. I'm sure Joanie is with you, every step of the way. Take some quiet time and look up at those stars. I'm sure that our dear friend, Joanie, will be the brightest star in the night sky. Talk to her and she will hear. And....I'm sure if you're really still, you'll feel the soft wind across your cheek as she blows you a kiss. Your sweet Mom now lives...in your heart. The pain will always be there for you but your spirit will manage to become a bit lighter as time goes by. We all loved your Mom so very much and in her honor, I would love to be here for you anytime you need to talk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanaBrooke Posted May 30, 2007 Author Share Posted May 30, 2007 Thank you all so much for helping me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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