VegasMomOf3 Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Hi there, I'm becoming very worried about my Dad and his stress level which shoots his blood pressure through the roof. He called me yesterday HIGHLY upset that he received a call informing him that Mom's PET scan wouldn't be "in-network" if the scheduled radiology provider performed it - he wanted to know why they call at the last minute with this as Mom's PET was scheduled for Monday. I work in an insurance brokerage so this was a fairly easy fix for me to handle......I looked at their provider network, called one of the hospitals on it, called and spoke to their nuclear medicine department and got the information I needed. I then called my Mom's doctors office with the info, then they in turn scheduled her at this hospital to do her PET scan this coming Tuesday. Again, this was fairly simple for me........but when my Dad got this call he went through the roof. My Mom told me that she could see my Dad's face just get redder and redder by the second. THIS WORRIES ME!! He would probably poo-poo any suggestions of him visiting his doctor as he is so focused on my Mom right now. Any suggestions?? Be Blessed, Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Maybe you could talk him into going on lexapro or something similar. it might help. You know, I am a little surprised that they would bother to call to let your dad know that the provider was out of network. I would be grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tjrasMOM Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Donna, We're going through the same thing with my mom. She pays her own insurance with Blue Cross PPO. She is an art teacher who is contracted with various districts & programs. She has had to quit working because of how winded she's been. She just received a letter (AFTER the PET scan) that said this MIGHT NOT BE COVERED because it's a "preventative" procedure. We've heard that these PET scans are very expensive. She can't afford thousands of dollars of medical bills. Right now she's at her house packing up her valuables. She wants to sell her house in order to live without stress and have some money in the bank. Is there any way to get assistance (we're in California) for these tests? I'm so sorry about your dad. Is there anyone else that can handle the medical / legal stuff for him? It doesn't help your mom probably to watch him stress out either. Maybe you can hire someone to handle the correspondence and organization of the billing?? Are there any places here on this board that have suggestions for all the billing crap our loved ones are going through?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Gosh, I feel so badly for you both! The cancer should be enough to go through, without having to hassle with all of the red tape. I pray you can find some answers soon. Donna, what a blessing that you were able to help your parents out in this. I don't know how to help your dad not stress. I never was very good at that. You might explain to him that too much stress could cause him to 'crash' either physically or emotionally, and then he wouldn't be any good for your mom. As a former crasher, I can assure you this is true. He must take care of himself, if he hopes to take care of Mom. Good luck with it! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Tell your Dad that from now on, he is to forward all insurance issues to you, and you will handle it for him. No need for him to worry about it at all; just let him pass it on to you. This is one of the ways you can help. These annoyances are the things that throw caregivers over the edge! You will truly be taking a load off him by doing this. If he's reluctant to "lay it on you" (parents are like that, you know), just make sure he knows that this is how you want and need to help. Best wishes, ~Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Thank goodness you were able to take care of it for them. Like Suzie Q mentioned, maybe from now on, you can tell your dad to contact you. If you've heard the saying "The straw that broke the camel's back", that's probably what is happening to your dad, and I can relate to that. You get to the point where you're just worn out, and one tiny thing "makes the dam burst"! It's overwhelming at times. Take care, Nova Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 There is just a lot of anger that is part of having a loved one diagnosed. I was so angry-- I remember just wanting to yell at someone. It will go away and become acceptance, but for now it doesn't matter if it's the insurance company or the paper boy... someone is gonna get it. You can help by being there and letting him vent it out. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeye Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 I know how your Dad feels too. Often I take it out on the wrong people--cuz how can I take it out on this awful disease??? Poor pharmacy techs, grocery clerks, internet tech support. Your parents are fortunate to have your help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Donna, I think when we land here each member of the family needs to know their role. Looks like yours may be to just deal with the financial/insurance end of things and Dad's is to just support mom and what she needs. Strike a deal with him, then you both are doing your part and blood pressure becomes something you don't need to worry about. Good luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VegasMomOf3 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 Thank you all for your input - it means the world!! One point was introduced.....is there anywhere to go for assistance with insurance/provider nightmares?? Be Blessed, Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 There is always the state insurance commissioners. However, every insurance company should have a patient advocate who is a nurse...they work with the patient and my mother had GREAT success with hers when she had breast cancer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Donna, I think one of the hardest things as a daughter was to get my mom to realize that dad's diagnosis was hard on her too. She would always say, "He is the one with the cancer," yet she had the primary caregiving, money issues, stresses that she didn't want him to have. It was very hard. I tried to get her to get on an anti-anxiety med, but she never did. If you can lighten the load on your dad, that will help, but it is also good to get your dad some one on one time too, because it is hard to be in that role, yet they so rarely admit it. Blessings, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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