I spoke to Soon

[lc46]

I guess when I said in another post that I haven't cried since my Moms funeral I spoke to soon. I guess it's the type of personality I have-get things done-move on to the next thing and keep busy. The past week it's gotten worse as I'm sure it might continue to.

I was @ my Moms house a lot going through her things in the past week and cried like

a baby-it sure feels good to let it out....

Anyhow I am selling my Moms house through the auction house we have been attending for the past 9 years - contents, house etc... so I have been clearing out all personal belongings and leaving just the furniture that my brothers didn't want and the house will be sold too. We can't afford to carry her mortgage and the way real estate is in NJ we have no other choice. Anyhow everytime I go into her house this week I feel sick to my stomach-I can't stay longer than an hour at a time.

The Serenity Prayer certainly helps in times like this

God Grant me The Serenity to Accept the Things I cannot Change

Change the Things I Can

and The Wisdom to Know the Difference.

Dar

[RandyW]

((((((((((((((((((DAR))))))))))))))))))))

I wish i had the words, But I can always listen. THis is the new normal that we live with i think!

[blueeye]

Oh Dar, Hugs to you. I so understand. Luckily I don't really have a time limit on clearing out my parents house. I work a little here and there. At first I mostly walked around in there gathering what I thought was valuable and couldn't be left without any one there. But I was also wrapped in her throw and sobbing. I still cry and wonder from room to room whenever I go over there and I really need to get it cleaned out and sold.

That is so odd that you posted the Serenity prayer. It keeps cropping up in my life and it is so true!

May we all find peace,

Leslie

[Nick C]

You can't know how it'll be until you are in the middle of it. It's tough for sure. I remember being at mom's house in the early days, very tough indeed.

[dchurchi]

(((Dar))),

I went through the same thing. After Alan died I didn't really cry, then this past Saturday the 1 week "anniversary" of Alan's passing, I think I cried for 24 straight hours, body rocking sobs. The past few days have been better, but I am sure the waves of pure dispair of missing Alan will come and go for a very long time. My heart goes out to you Dar.

[teriw]

(((Dar)))

I understand. Sometimes you have to get through a "busy" time before you even allow the feelings to come to the surface. Just try to let it out when it comes. That's a lot you're having to deal with so quickly (the house and all).

Hugs,

[Maryanne]

So sorry Dar... I went throught the same with my mom. I know what you are going through.

My heart to yours.

Maryanne

[shineladysue]

(((Dar))),

Everyone experiences grief in a different way and at a different pace. I know for me, it has been a very long , drawn out and complicated process. Just when I think I'm getting better I have a day where I just cry all day... that's after 2 years. It just goes deep and tends to surface in degrees. At least, that's how it is for me. Be gentle with yourself, you're going through so much.

Hugs,

sue

[MomsGirl]

Dar,

There is nothing harder than going through her things/going to the house, at least that's what I found. Let the tears flow, don't hold them back, you need to grieve when the waves hit you.

I'm so sorry...