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Moving on


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Its almost a month since the passing of my beloved wife Pat. A lot of things have happened in this time. I have now moved to the cty of Ladysmith which is near the construction site. i share the house with one of my fellow co-workers and we get along quite well.

The jackal made the move with me and has adapted well. At least I have her for companionship at night when we go to bed.

I have found it hard to adapt to the new circumstances as the highlight of my week was going home to my wife. I now spend the weekend here at home. I go to church on Sunday.

The lonliness is what has the biggest negative effect on me at present. There is no-one to discuss all the little personal and intimate things with.

These were always saved for the times we were together. I miss the social life with her, even if it was just going out to a restuarant for supper or a drive to the beach to watch the sea. She loved going to the beach and walking amongst the rocks.

There is no one to share the day to day happenings and stories with. I used to phone her every night.

These are all th things that still bring a deep sense of sadness to me.

All the telephone calls I recieved are also starting to get less and les as people have other more pressig things to do and I am no longer the focal point.

I am not depressed only I think very lonely as co-workers are all pretty much tired at the end of the day and dont do much socialising.

One thing that keeps me going is the memories of the good times we had and looking at the many photos that I have taken of our travels and work.

I would lie to thank all for the advice and all the kind thoughts.

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Hi Ronnie,

The experience that you are going through,such an abrupt and violent change in your circumstances,I can only imagine what you are going through.I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and praying that your pain will ease with each passing day.I hope by posting and sharing with your friends here you can take some comfort.

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Little things can mean a lot when your grief is so large. I'm happy to hear the jackal made the transition with you and that you have a compatible co-worker housemate. Post here whenever we can be of comfort and support.

Judy in KW

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hope Ya saw my other post in one of your other postings Ronnie! We still have to get up and lace up our boots and soldier on every day so we move forward. Some days with more hesitation than others. It shard but we gotta do it in memory and also for ourselves!

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Good morning Ron,

Sometimes the grief can be so overwhelming, but we have to find a place for that grief in our lives. I pray for some relief from this, and for you to find peace in the memories of your beloved wife.

Glad you are posting, and hoping our responses somehow help you.

Judy in MI

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I really feel what you've written here. My experience isn't like yours, but I really can see the things that have been hard for you.

I know the phone calls become less, and the world keeps turning and sometimes that is hard because you are the only one in the place you were in...but when you feel that alone in your emotion know it is because of the uniqueness of what you had and how special your relationship was.

Hang in there, and know that we're here.

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Hi Ron, I really believe you have to have experienced the loss of your significant other to understand the grief that is felt by those of us left behind.

I lost my husband 11 months ago and the grief and loss is as real and raw as it was the day I lost him.

I have been to grief counseling once and am on my second round of grief support group.

I really don't think anyone can help with the feelings you are having. It's such an individual experience for all of us.

Unfortunately, I have no advice to give you because I am still struggling with it as well.

The only thing I keep reminded myself of is that we had NO CHOICE in this deal.

I also keep reminding myself what the most intelligent man I ever knew told me for 30 years "we HAVE to play the hand we are dealt". That man was my husband, Thom.

Good luck to you.


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Ron, so sorry for all you are going through. Your wife sounds like she was a wonderful woman. Just take one day at a time. I am really glad you are not alone.

My heart to yours...


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