catlady91 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 I thought that I'd give you an update about my mum. She had the appointment today and the consultant was extremely rude!! He was extremely dismissive and negative. He didn't seem to know much either. He said that the cancer is incurable and my mum burst into tears. We know that she'll most likely have to live with cancer but he was so rude and not consoling. He didn't offer any positive points. Even though the cancer hasn't spread, he said it's not relevant, the cancer has returned. My mum asked about the size and he said it's irrelevant. My mum asked about the chemo but he didn't know much about it. Luckily my mum will be under a different doctor who has signed her up for a clinical trial and if she's not eligible, she will receive chemo. This doctor today was so uninformative and my mum had to squeeze answers out of him. My mum asked him about the clinical trial but he said that he didn't know anything. I'm shocked by his attitude. My mum's friend who went with her confirmed how rude he was. I'm glad that my mum will be under a different doctor who is really lovely and seems passionate about helping her patients. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catlady91 Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 Did I say something to offend people as people aren't commenting on my posts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scruboak Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Not at all, cat lady. I don’t get on this forum too often. That doctor was horrible! Shouldn’t be in the medical field at all and I’m sorry your mama had to go through that humiliation. Love to you and your mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Galli Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Catlady, You’ve been posting for a while and folks realize you and your mom live in the UK. Most of us live in the US and would quickly get another doctor if we had the problems you describe. But we understand that is hard to do in the UK. So we don’t know what suggestions to offer. Rude seems to be a vast understatement. A string of cus words would be a far better way of characterizing your mom’s doctor’s behavior. Stay the course. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUNGevityKristin Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I'm so sorry your mom is having a bad experience with her doctor. Since you are in a different country, I'm not exactly sure how things work. Have you looked into any UK Lung Cancer organizations? https://www.blf.org.uk/support-for-you/lung-cancer https://www.roycastle.org/help-and-support/ You are ALWAYS welcome here but maybe local organizations may have more practical advice for you and your mom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catlady91 Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 I prefer this forum as in the UK people don't speak much about cancer and the support network isn't very good. Even though I'm not from the US, this group brings me a lot of solace and I love the positivity on here. My mum is also part of an immunotherapy group on Facebook where the majority people are American. She loves the group. She joined a British group but it wasnt very supportive and people didn't say very much or reply to her. British people can be very reserved and don't like making "a fuss" or discussing difficult topics. My mum and I aren't typically British. My mum is from Poland and I feel very European. Even though things work differently in the US, the support is great and I learn a lot about different therapies. In the UK, healthcare is free but we don't have much selection of treatment unless you go private. Luckily, my mum won't be seeing that nasty doctor again. My mum will be under the care of another doctor who is really lovely and cares about her patients. She wants to book my mum for a clinical trial (which I think is treatment used in the US) and if she's not eligible she'll have chemo. My mum will also be going to a different hospital which is one of the best in the UK and only specialises in cancer. So there is a silver lining. Some doctors are just horrible and don't care about their patients or seem to know much! This horrible doctor didn't know anything about the clinical trials or latest treatment! He was so negative and uninformative. I wanted to write a strong letter of complaint but my mum begged me not to as she doesn't want any trouble. Have you had experiences with doctors like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUNGevityKristin Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I'm so sorry. I only meant in terms of their prodcedures, how they move to the next treatment, the protocols, etc. We are definitely here for the emotional support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJM Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Glad to hear things are progressing. There are good and bad doctors across the globe. I try to cut them slack because it must be a very difficult job (oncologist). I'm guessing at some point they build up a shell. No excuse tho. Best of luck and keep us informed on what treatments they suggest. And keep the faith and be strong for your mom. Peace Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiMama Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 That doc sounds insensitive and not a good fit for her. Hopefully you can get another opinion and switch to someone else. 💜 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouT Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 Catlady, Maybe it's the "New Yorker" In me, but frankly I'd get in touch with this buffoon of a doctor and read him the riot act. Any doctor's charge is to "first do no harm" and surely treating your mother they way he did resulted in a level of harm. He needs to understand your position, the effect his behavior has on his patients and his responsibility. Perhaps he's overworked, underpaid or just a curmudgeon, but regardless he needs to treat others with respect and especially your Mom. He's a human and not a God so please don't be intimidated. You are the advocate for your Mother and you can re-establish a relationship with him that can be better for her in the future (assuming you can't just go to another doctor). During my wife's care I've had to advocate a few times and always had positive results. Good luck to you. Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesse L. Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 Sorry to hear you had a bad time with your oncologist... After I had my lobectomy surgery I was reclassified from a stage 1a to a stage 3a and the doctor that told me that did it quite poorly indeed. Oh he was quite personable and all, but I felt as if he was telling me that I only had short time to live. As well as looking at me as if I was dead man walking, he seemed to be waiting for me to break down or something... It was so very uncomfortable all around. Some personell sure could use some training in doctor patient relations. 😕 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.