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There is always light at the end of our dark tunnels

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Hi everyone, I haven't been on this forum much lately, things had settled down at our house but now Dave will be back in active treatment.

I want to say that I was devastated beyond belief when we found out on Tuesday his cancer was back. But then this morning I was getting ready and I could almost see, visualize, the tumor tissue growing in the porous holes of his sinus bones and I thought, aww, no problem, is THAT all it is? Now I feel a little at peace and less pancky about it.

It's kind of like the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly appeared - I see no more darkness, only light - not even figuratively, I mean literally. And I swear I can feel the presence of Christ standing by me coaching me on these thoughts.

So I am here to help you other caregivers find strength. We can do it. Our strength is there waiting for us whenever we need it.

God Bless us all,


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Karen, my dear, you are AMAZING!! (and you are right!) Christ is walking every step of this journey with you, Dave and Faith. He will NOT leave you. Sometimes we think that God has forgotten us, but if we really take a close look, we are the one's who distance ourselves from God.......not the other way around. (at least that is the case with me) You have your heart and soul in the right place to get through this...........and get through this you will..........and Dave IS going to beat this again. Hey, with you AND God on his side, how could he not???

Love, hugs and prayers for you and your wonderful family!!!


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Ok, ya'll - it's getting a little hard but I'm hanging in there.

Dave is a little anxious I think and also has been on percoset for over a week now (his brow bone really hurts where the ENT doc took out a little piece of bone for the biopsy) and he snaps really easy - short tempered - yelling at both Faith and I, snipping at me for every little thing, then when I tell him he's making me nervous or anxious and to please calm down then he harps on how I can't handle this and I need to see our doc and get some valium or something.

geesh, anyone would need valium if they're getting yelled at all day long, no kidding.

Then I realized I needed to just ignore him, I asked him for permission to ignore him and he granted it - so there's my valium, ignoring him.

This is getting hard and I'm not sure how I'm going to hold up though this on my own, my mom is laid up with the colon cancer so my parents can't really help, but I have to continue working full time with my two hour daily commute, taking Faith to daycare, then take care of her and Dave every evening.

Gosh, I completely FORGOt to give her a bath this week after we got the bad news. I gave her a bath Monday and then meant to on Wednesday but then the bomb got dropped and I forgot, then Thursday we went to see my folks and I forgot, then it was Friday and I said heck with it, she'll just get dirty over the weekend, guess I'll give her one tomorrow before we take her to her little teacher's house to spend the night (so I can get Dave to the hospital by 6 am on Monday).

Ok, thanks for allowing me to vent and ramble. I needed that.

Karen C.

p.s. did you know that if someone is yelling at you, if you close your eyes and pray you can't hear them?

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Awwwwwww Karen, I'm sorry that you are having a rough time. (but who wouldn't be given the situation??) My Dad is kind of cranky these days too. I think it's a combination of meds and the fear of the unknown. I have learned to just listen to what he is saying, nod my head, say a prayer and go on. I can't imagine the things that are going through his head, so I allow him to be a little cranky. :wink:

Just keep praying Karen. God will get you through this!! We are all here for you.

Love, hugs and prayers~~~~~


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I am so sorry for all you and Dave are going through. I am also experiencing the "short temper" thing. As you know, it is just the disease talking and not meant personally at all. A friend of mine says that when this happens with her husband she just calmly says, "I love you too Darling!"

You have a great deal on your plate at the moment Karen, it sounds as if you need more help. Now wonder things are so tense.

I will be saying a special prayer for you all,



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