missyk

Val... Now it's my turn to be hormonal! LOL (Which, honestly, this isn't about hormones at all) I think that my family has found, over the years, a nice balance to "steps" and what titles they take. When Mom and Ralph married, I was (the youngest) 10 years old. Our father was never really in the picture, so it's not like he was being replaced...we just finally had someone present! Ralph's parents we just called Elva and John...but we also called Mom's parents Pat and Art! When I talked of them, though,or introduced them, they were "my grandparents". Now that we've started to have children, Ralph, who's never gone by any other name to us, is grandpa or papa, depending on the child, and his dad is Great-Grandpa John. Mom is grandma or grandma Sue. My daughter calls Mark's parents grandma Shirley and grandpa Larry...or grandma and grandpa hammy (that's just what she calls them as a couple LOL) I guess, what it all boils down to, is that I think that allowing the "title" is acceptable, as long as the name follows it, so that there isn't just ONE grandma and it leaves it wide open for her to learn much about Grandma Carol along the way! Heck...Sabrina, for the longest time, thought every older woman she met was "Grandma Somebody"!! LOL Ok, now I'm taking my long-winded, hormonal self outta here to write Ralph a big long thank you for being our "dad". Much love darlin...

Awwww CRAP! I'm so sorry your family's being touched by this again.

Leslie... First, let me say how sorry I am that you didn't get better news. That just stinks! As far as the brain goes...there are many, many, many people who have/are controlling mets to the brain with radiation therapy!! Mom had a tumor in her brain when she was diagnosed and she used SRS (stereotactic radiosurgery or Cyberknife), when more showed up, SRS again, then we switched to whole brain radiation (WBR), and back to SRS again for the last time she had treatment. She suffered no side effects other than some fatigue for a while that went away and hairloss from the WBR that regrew. There are different types of radiation treatments that can be used and I pray that whichever is used on your dad is effective and "zaps" those buggers GONE! Much love and many prayers...

Thinking of you and sending prayers for you and Mom!

"Good Morning Beautiful"

Snoopy... Welcome to the board and so sorry for what your husband and family are going through right now. As far as weightloss goes...it's not always a determining factor, though I know it's crazy-scary to see such weightloss. My mom, throughout her treatments (over two years) has lost almost 120 lbs and now is at 125 lbs on a 5'10" frame. She has eaten approximately half a banana a day for the past three months or so...and she's still here. Her treatments never quite went as expected, either, either missing them or delaying them were common things. But, she's well past what "they" told her she'd see and determined to continue as long as she can. Do you think your husband might be helped by an antidepressant? That helped Mom the most when she was having the hardest time dealing with all of this...and has helped us out with all of it, too. I really wish I could be of more help, so please, let me (us) know how we can support you! Much love and many prayers...

Welcome Kg...but sorry you've found yourself here. It's a great place for information, support, friendship, and hope...among all the other things that are offered. The amount of testing goes toward knowing the exact kind of cancer your dad (might) have and the extent of it...all of which they use in determining treatment course. I know it feels like a TON of "stuff" just for them to say "Yes, it's cancer" or "No, it's not"...but if it IS, the information is vital in getting proper treatment to kick cancer butt! Many prayers coming for you and your dad...and thank the good Lord for sleeping pills!!! LOL Hey Ned? Or Kg... Is there a syllable that's stressed or is it said just like that? ( I love these little lessons from Ned on the Hawaiian language!)

LOL...I'd almost forgotten about that! We watched Bridge in the theater when it came out (yup, cried like a baby at that one, too!) then rented Winn Dixie and the first thing out of my mouth was "I think that's the same girl!" I'm starting to think I just cry at movies.

Because Of Winn Dixie...watched it with my daughter and *I* was the one crying! (Yup, and before that it was Flicka...it's gotta be those animals!)

Hi... My mom was extremely anxious about WBR, especially the possibility of vision problems as her main tumor was right behind her right eye. As far as side effect went for her...she had fatigue (common with most radiation therapies, it seems) and hairloss. She wasn't allowed to drive because of the chance of seizures (she never had one, though)...for the most part sailed through treatment. I believe she had 15 rounds, though I'm not completely positive on that. I'm sure someone will come along with more indepth information for you. Hopes and prayers that his treatment works wonders!!

The Red Skelton questions were the only ones I didn't get. That freightens me just a touch considering I'm only 32! LOL LOL @ Don thinking of buring bras before burning draft cards! LOLLLLL

HA!!

I *AM* the long-winded talker It's harder for me to carry on a conversation if the other person (or people) are the "quiet types"...I start wondering what they're thinking and when they don't tell me...I get a little nervous!

I'm not sure of any sites (I know people will come along who do, though) but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am that your friend is having to deal with that. Prayers going out that they have a wonderful outcome!

That every child dreads from their parent when we've been battling a disease such as this. The "I know it's not long..." talk. Mom called this evening to wish Sabrina (my daughter) a happy birthday and to gloat that she made it to her birthday afterall. LOL When they were done talking Mom and I talked for a little bit. She and Ralph talked with the hospice social worker to see about some of the "paranoid" things she's been saying and see if they could come up with an idea of what was going on. Mom told me that she thinks she has her head on straight now. That she understands that she doesn't have much time left and that the sensations and feelings she's been having are all tied to that...not to any of us actually being "out to get her". I'm glad she seems more at peace now, it lightens my heart. But I'm sad, too, because knowing that she's starting to accept what's happening means she's not so p*ssed off anymore and I KNOW that's what's kept her around this long! LOL It's such a long, rough, journey. I'm humbled by the grace and dignity of those (including Mom) who've traveled this road.

...And my purse to match the outfit! LOL Ok, I had to actually think about this one! It depends on the situation and the opinion. If it's something like a political opinion, then I'm pretty hard-headed about it. I feel how I feel and no one's going to make me change my mind. If it's about other things, I'm able to look at both sides of a situation (or opinion) and find the place that best fits me...and sometimes that does change with new information.

Jane... As someone going through something very similar (but not exactly) to what you're going through, I sympathize with your situation. My mom has become irrational and paranoid as the disease progression picks up (we're near the end) and we've all become irritable and crabby. I had it out with my sister's boyfriend, my brother and sister got involved, and all of it on Mom's front porch where she could see that we were fighting. Now, as far as irrational...that's not exactly a new thing for Mom! LOL I joked that day that everyone was crabbing that "irrational behavior runs in this family!" and I really meant it. I remember growing up and not knowing WHAT was going to set her off on a rampage. That has not changed a bit now. We still walk on eggshells around her...but now we do it around eachother, too. I'm glad you came here to vent off the pressure. I've used this board the same way many times to a lesser degree...my rages are generally internalized more and that's not the best thing in the world, for sure! I'm sending lots of prayers your way since I can't do anything else for you. But know that there are times, even in my particular situation, when I find myself almost hoping that this is the last irrational behavior we'll have to deal with and she (and we) can be at peace. Much love...

Oh Randy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Daisydawg!

Mom called me again this morning telling me that there was weird stuff going on at home now, too. She told me she thought Ralph was trying to kill her. When I asked her how he was trying to kill her she told me, "I don't know, but now the water's shut off." I didn't believe they were up there with no water and I KNOW Ralph's not trying to kill her, so I told her that I'd come up and take care of things. We spent most of the day up there with her. More "being around" than anything else. She'd refused her anti-nausea medication all last night so she was sick today. We finally got her convinced to at least use that and when we left she'd finally stopped hanging over the pot. She did ask Ralph at one point to take her to the hospital because she thought she was losing her mind. I feel SO bad for her...understanding that things just aren't right...but not being able to completely grasp reality, either. Every so often I'd glance her way when she didn't know I was looking and you could see her in almost complete concentration...like she was trying to puzzle it all out. It makes me so sad. Ralph said he wanted to wait until the hospice nurse had come today to see what she thought about what to do with Mom's confusion. Ralph's afaid of her becoming violent and what he would do then. I told him I just didn't know how to deal with this part of it and that talking to the nurse to get her opinion would be the best idea. Hopefully we'll come up with a plan soon. xoxo

I know it's not only my family...I KNOW it's not, but right now it feels like we must be the only ones that have ever gone through this. First..Mom "flipped out" last night and DEMANDED to be taken home. It was 11 o'clock at night...and when Ralph told her she'd have to wait until morning before they decided anything (over the phone) she called the police in the city where the hospice is and told them she was being held against her will. THEN she called ME!! The policeman who responded was nice enough, stayed with her there until Ralph got there and they worked it out and all that. Ralph was terribly embarassed and I told him not to be...I'm sure it's not the first call of the type they've gotten from there. I know when I worked at the nursing home we had residents use their room phones the same way. *Sighs* She woke this morning at 6am still demanding to go home...so Ralph brought her home. She's still, however, terribly upset with him for giving her "the run around". If that's not bad enough, we had a heck of a blow-up at the "family gathering" that followed my sister's graduation ceremony with her master's degree that was at 10am this morning. She called me yesterday, the day before, and told me that it was today. Then all of that happened with Mom and I was up most of the night. Top it all off with still trying to recover from the intestinal stuff that was going on with me and I was BEAT. I overslept. I missed the ceremony. My sister's boyfriend and I haven't seen eye-to-eye for...well...forever. Today when they got up to Mom's house (I was up there already helping to get mom settled in) I attempted to appologize to my sister for missing the ceremony and her boyfriend interrupted me to call me "pathetic". My brother (that big dude in the picture with Mom down there ) was standing there when he said it to me and held me back 'cause I was going to stuff my Pepsi bottle down his throat. Big bro sent me to cool off with a, "I'M gonna take care of this NOW." and called her boyfriend out to have a little discussion. Turns out that my sister's boyfriend thinks that my sister is the only of we three kids that's attempting to "better herself" and that my brother and I are losers. (Jim hasn't worked as long as I've known him...Becky works full time and has gotten her degree at the same time). Apparently my missing her graduation because of all that's going on in life OTHER than that was enough for her to decide to wash her hands of me. And my brother missing her daughter's birthday in December was enough for her to decide that he's worthless, too. The LAST thing we needed today was for him to open his mouth and start s**t...and he did it anyway. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...I'm SO frustrated at all of this!!! Sorry this is so long and drawn out...I just had to blow it off and this is as good a place to do it as any. Thanks You all are great!

The ring on my right hand that Mom gave me and the necklace around my neck that my inlaws gave me. (Family...but again...I'm not sure we "own" those!)

Welcome, Jen! Many prayers for your Mom's continued wonderful results and for your whole family!

So the level of appreciation = the length of the y'all? LOL I'm so glad to hear you're back "up" and enjoying being smoke-free! It makes me swell with pride (as opposed to swelling from too much soda!) to see you doing so well! xoxo ~Missy~

{{Steph}} What a beautiful little girl!! Congratulations to you and "grandma"! It sounds like your mom has the same habit of stumping the doctors that my mom's had and I know the worries that go along with it. I have no great advice for you and no idea what the white spots may be...but I have lots of prayers on the way for you and your mom during this time of waiting. Please let us know what you find out.

Ooh how fun to get to talk about!! Mark and I were set up as a blind date. His cousin was friends with my best friend. We met, dated for a while, fought over things that dating people don't normally fight over...and became engaged not long after. We were married a year and a half after meeting. We'll be married 11 years on July 27th. Neither of us will say it was love at first sight because we were both VERY different than the people we "normally" dated...but our differences are what keep it interesting! **Forgot to add...I was 19 when we met and it was HIS mother who said "It'll never last!" LOL**