kamataca

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened! I would have dissolved into a puddle myself. Mom had an inexpensive (Avon, I think) ring that my daughter loved. She wore it every day since my Mom died. She took it off to play volleyball, and one of the 'pearls' fell out when someone knocked it over. She was crushed. Now I will take the little thing to a jeweler to have it fixed, if they can. It might by just a necklace, or a ring to some, but it is also a physical connection to our lost loved one. I pray you can get your necklace back. If not, I pray for peace in yur heart about it. Kelly

Very, very cool. Thank for this glimpse into the life of such a fascinating man. Kelly

You give me hope. Thank you for that! Kelly

I did it! I made it through my niece's birth without any tears! As I had said, Mom knew this baby was coming, and she really wanted to be here for this. I cried (teared up and got sad--seems the best I can still do) all week thinking about it, but the day itself was so full of joy and hope. I had a weak moment as I watched my older brother intensely look through the glass at her, and I knew what he was thinking. We both moved on, though. I was really suprised by how positive the day was. I've had some sad moments since. I know Mom can see this precious little girl (Rebecca Marie--Marie was Mom's middle name), and I know life goes on. I feel bad for my younger brother, that he doesn't get to hear Mom carry on about his little girl, like she did for me (and my little boy as well). I feel bad for Rebecca that she will never have grandparents from our side of the family, never know them. My daughter and I have decided that this means we will get to SPOIL this little gal in the way that Mom would have. She'll be raised hearing the stories of Mom and my dad. It isn't the same, but it is the best we can do...so we will do it. Thanks for all of your support, and especially prayers! Kelly

I am really so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Kelly

No worries, Christine--I didn't take it that way at all. You guys lift me up. Kelly

I'm so sorry this snuck up on you. Seems like things like that happen to me all the time. I don't have any great ideas of what to do, just a caution of what NOT to do. Mom's birthday was just a month after she died. I tried to bury my head in the sand, didn't talk to my brothers, or mention it to anyone. It messed me up. Now I wish I had gone out to dinner with my brothers, or something, and celebrated her life. I was just too muuh of a coward this year. Blessings to you as you go through this week. Kelly

My younger brother and his wife are expecting their first child--it will actually be born this Friday (C-section...some minor complications). Thankfully, Mom knew the baby was coming. Right after she found out, she went to her onc. appointment. My daughter Taylor was with her at the time, and Mom told her dr. that he needed to keep her around until November--she had another grandchild coming. So fast forward, and of course Mom won't be with us (physically, at least). I am so excited to meet this little guy or girl. I am also so sad that this little one won't have any grandparents, from our side at least. I remember how sad I was when Tay was born, that my dad wasn't there...and I had years to get used to his death. The kids and I are taking the day off to be there, so this baby can be surrounded by as much family as possible. I'm just so terrified that I will break down. The pain of missing Mom has been so acute this week. First the baby, and then our first Thanksgiving without Mom. I don't want to ruin such a beautiful day with grief and sorrow. Please pray for me this week--for the strength to enjoy this amazing gift of life, without thinking about who we will all be missing.

Wow. This is just perfect...it should be required reading for al those around us. Sometimes I feel so bad for my husband...he just doesn't know what to do, and I don't know how to tell him. Thanks. Kelly

Although I feel so sad reading so many names of friends, it's like watching a beautiful parade in my mind. All these people who helped me early in my journey...people with Addie-tude, Justakid making wise cracks about life on steroids, so, so many others. Now Mom stands with them. I hate the loss, but I would have hated even more never knowing them. To paraphrase Jimmy Buffett, in his song about the loss of his grandfather, "And though I cried I was so proud / To have loved someone so rare" God speed...eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord... Kelly

I'm so glad you checked it. I think of you often. It was so good to hear updates. It's amazing how life continues. Take care and don't be a stranger! Kelly

Days like that stink! We care. Please take good care of yourself, and let the ridiculous people be. Kelly

I've been gone so long--I didn't know. You've always amazed me. I will be praying for you guys. I just don't know what to say, other than to babble. So many people love you, and loved John. Please take care of yourself. Kelly

Wow...a year?!? Remember how happy (and beautiful!) she was that day. Smile, if you can. Kelly

I'm with you. I start to think I am doing 'so well' (whatever that means), and then I'm hit with emotions so atrong, I feel like I'm on Day 1 again. I'm really sorry that it has been a rough week. Prayers for a smoother ending to the week. Kelly

Reading that was like opening yet another window into his life...catching another glimpse. He was such a special man! Kelly

Writing is such a great tool for dealing with what is inside ourselves. It is funny--you describe an intensely personal, private moment, and yet it is universal for those of us what have walked that path. Well done. Kelly

It's just so sad...I can hardly believe it. I am praying for you! Kelly

I just got back into town and was so sad to read this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I mean that. Kelly

You guys must have really shared a special love to feel it so acutely four years later. I'm really sorry that you are feeling so much pain. Kelly

You aren't crazy. You are grieving, in your own way--the way that is best for you. It's kind of like parenting--grief doesn't really come with a training manual, and the ones they do write don't alwyas seem to apply. I'm still pretty numb myself. In an analytical way, that bothers me. I wish I had more life and verve, but I just don't. I hope I will again someday, but this is where I am now. I think you are remarkable, quite honestly. Take care. Kelly

I know how hard this must be, the wait and see game. I pray that you get some answers soon, and some direction in how you plan to battle the beast. Plesae remember to take care of YOURSELF during this process as well. Sob when you need to--don't hold it all inside. Don't try to do and be everything. Prayers for you guys. Kelly

It sounds so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I know I will think of you guys each time I see a butterfly. Kelly

I'm always struck by how young your mom was. This is a very cool way to honor her. I hid my head in the sand on Mom's b-day (one month after her death). Your way is so much better! Kelly

Oh, my. I am so sorry to read this. You have been so strong and tried to stay so positive. We're here with you--please take good care of yourself. Kelly