shelliemacs

Thinking of you on your special day. Wishing I could do something to help you hang on.

an unfortunate welcom Pat and Brian first thing first. Yes this is hell. BUT you have all of us here with you and the support, caring, compassion and knowledge you will find here will become your life line. these people got me through Lung Cancer with both my mom and dad. Also now my sister has cancer, only hers is breast. I lost mom and dad 9 months apart last year and I just feel like these people are my family and although LC is not my current battle, I am battling with everyone else here against it still. couple of tips bring a notebook to every appointment. get yourself educated about his chemo, possible side effects. changes in eating paterns, new aches or pains, remember to get TONS of water in him to help counter the effects of chemo. cut back on sugar and increase veggies and proteins. the fear is the inknown which everyone faces, but once you understand a little more the whats' and what fors, you can fight this b*stard with a calmer head. many prayers for recovery and hope you get to meet NED. (no evidence of disease) shelly

Angie, why would it be game over if the spinal fluid contains cancer. there is a chemo for that and its called Methotrexate and its for cancer of the spinal fluid. Its mostly used in lukemia patients but it can be either in pill or injection form. what does your dad want to do. if he wants to fight on, he should. Of course your not ready to loose him, who would think you would be. You never want to loose your parent, especially one as close to your dad as you are. I am here if you want to vent. if you don't have my number anymore pm me for it.

Dean, SOOO glad you posted. I think of you everyday and pray for you and Gay. I hope that you continue to stay "No change" and that we will have you here with us for a long long time to be the calming force that you are to me. I am so happy to see you post.

1) 44 minutes till day os over. 2) xanax 3) starting anti-depressants again tonight so the vision I see at night in moms house will go away. 4) smirnoff 5) new windows came in today for house.

1) that my scale didn't go up after too many jelly beans for the WW coach to detect. 2) hot tea on a 7 degree day 3) heated socks 4) a new pen someone gave me today with a tiny snow globe on top with Mickey mouse in it (absolute pen freak here) 5) good odor eaters after 14 hours in stockings at work. **any ladies out there have this stinky feet at work problem here. we have a club at work, no one wants it to be known that they are a member but we all are. if we can put a man on the moon, why can't we make ladies stocking/shoes that don't make our feet sweat/stink??

I am sorry too that your here. getting it at any age is a nightmare but I can't imagine at 27 what that is like. Your attitude seems great for the fight. The more cancer knows it won't win, and that your willing to fight the b*stard..to me anyway...the better your outcome will be. He is young and strong and has great chances of living a long life.

well its as much a shock to him as it is to you and he has a right to be angry. NO ONE deserves to be dealt this hand. I hope that he does decide to give treatment a try but its his decision. many prayers.

angie, i lost your number during my move and no matter what I do I can't find where else I put it. I am sending every prayer to mom and dad to help right now.

Ok Lori, here is when your going to be tested the most. You have to reach down way deep, deep inside and just tie a knot and hang on the the thread of a rope your at the end of. Your mind should protect you in some chemical way now and it will sort of go into auto-pilot and get you through the next few weeks. whether or not your dad is making sense to you. he is making sense to who ever he is talking to. This should be a sign to you that a loved one or someone who he feels comfortable with is amoungst him. where he is mentally, they are with him and are helping him also come to grips with what he now has to do which is leave his family behind so he can go onto the next chapter of his life. I swear I don't mean anything to upset you, but when mom and dad were passing, a hospice nurse told me these things and when I watched mom mumble, I knew (or wanted to believe) that her twin sister who died 1 year before was there with her and there to take her across. That brought me mush needed comfort. I will pray for your dad

in my opinion, anything that doesn't get bigger, is doing something correct. this is good news.

JELLYBEANS ARE FAT FREE MY COMFY COUCH NOT HAVING TO SHOVEL CAUSE HUSBAND WILL BEET ME HOME TONIGHT MY POWER BILL IS LESS THAN THE GIRL WHO SITS BEHIND ME BY 200 DOLLARS A BAG OF ROMANCE NOVELS I FOUND WHILE UNPACKING FROM THE MOVE I FORGOT I HAVE (AND THEY ALL REVOLVE AROUND COWBOYS WOO HOO)

Hey, Maybe its working and you will be able to beat this monster away. I am hoping thats the case

wow, I am sorry. Maybe hers was caught early. i will keep everything crossed for that. I understand the two family members getting it. I will keep the whole family in my prayers.

um without sounding offensive i have heard that doing what you did to make that baby will bring the baby outta there.

wow does this bring back awful times I went through as well. We kept dad in a morphine coma because of the pain (which we are still dealing with guilt there) and mom was like your dad, always restless, up, down, mumbling things we didn't hear or understand. unfortunately we could do nothing but sit hold their hands and talk to them. we were terrified, YES, did we ache for them. YES. The only way through this is just hold on tight and wait for it to be over. Maybe you will feel the peace I fealt knowing it was over. Maybe not. I am sorry your living this nightmare and I pray for your dad.

1) that I can lie about my weight and spouse hasn't got a clue that I am doing it. 2) that spouse doesn't know what I really weigh 3) XANAX 4) that sisters lump was cought at stage 1 5) that there is still 3 1/2 months to loose weight before short season rolls around.

Cindy, could it possible be anxiety driven?? are you on anti-anxiety meds. Could it be a reaction to some other meds your on for something else. many prayers for a negative outcome on anything but gas.

JEALOUS!! wow that describes me right now. I wish I could have what you experianced. What I wouldn't give. This is so comforting to know.

i appreciate so much all of the help, support and care I receive here on this site from everyone of you. Today isn't any better emotionially yet. I am thinking of my mom constantly (no particular moment) and my dads last few days today. I wanted so hard to save them. I cried in the shower a little while ago because I can't comprehend how scared they were on the days they found out they had cancer and when they realized they would die. I just can't come to grips with not being able to help them. I know its because I am trying to come off my anti-depressants though. I got like this before when I went off them for a week. Now I want to try to not take that extra pill every day so I am hoping all these emotions will pass soon. I want to remember and smile instead of cry behind closed doors so my sister doesn't see me cry anymore. I know she is scared enough with her own cancer. I am not ready to come off the anxiety meds yet. That may be a while. hopefully after I can get the lexapro out of my system all these sad feelings will go away, if not I will go back on them. I just wanted to thank you all again, you will never know how much I adore every one of you.

I do appreciate all the replies and I know Don is right. I am not allowing myself to move on yet. I know it. I fight moving on. I bought my parents house. I live amoung their neighbors and best friends. I am living their lives still. I guess that is why I have not left this board as some do after there loved one passes. I can't get away from the family that LC brought me too. Odd how a 6 letter word changed who I am, what I am about and how I live and think forever. I am a different person since cancer came into it. We all are different people. we have seen the ugly side of existance and for just one moment to be ignorant to its ugliness or oblivious to what it does to families ... boy what I would not give for that. I will find my way back to me, it just won't be the old me I'm afriad. How can any of us go back to who we were before cancer. It not only destroys our loved ones, it kills a part of us as well. **side note. I have stopped anti-depressants to try to be amoung the un-medicated again. me thinks it is not the time to go off them just yet.

ok, today happens to be a bad day for me (fight with spouse, money worry, still under winters cold grip) but I wonder on these days. Will simple joy ever come back to me? I base this on the fact that losing mom to LC in August of 03 then losing dad to LC in June 04m then sister getting cancer in June 04. I seem to have lost simple joy, ease of smiling, carefree laughter. I am always stressed, and always making lists of things I have to either stress over or take care of. I can't relax. Nothing comes simply. I don't laugh easily with people. I don't just sit back and watch the clouds pass. It is always in the back of my mind that I am 36 and even though I know people have always had it worse than me and always will. Both of my parents are gone. I will never get to ask mom her opinion again, I will never turn to my dad for car repairs again. I won't be able to take my parents to sunday dinner in their twiligth years like my parents did with their parents. I wan't life to be simple again, I want to wake up without this feeling. its not all sadness, or grief or depression, its like a "something is ultimately and forever going to be different and I can't do anything about it" feeling. is this how it will always be. won't simple happiness without trying ever come back. will I always feel "lost" in a world of other people who still have there parents? I know I have to get over this. Most days I am fine. but today, today its hitting me again that my parents are laying under dirt on top of a hill with a stone marking who they were and here is where their bodies are laying. When I go to the cemetary I just want to dig so I can physicially see them. I want to shake them awake, I want them to butt into my life again and share unwanted advice or opinions. I want my mom to critisize my hair style or my clothes again. I want my dad to tell me I am a neurotic freak again and to stop taking life to seriously. I know everyone here, patient and caregiver have lost in their lives. so everyone can chime in on this, WHEN OR DOES LIFE EVER FEEL LIKE LIFE AGAIN?

metastis to other sites in the body.

This is GREAT news. Finially some good news.

he WILL pull out of this.