Dean,
an occasional pity party isn't such a terrible thing, and for pete's sake, you've earned it! But I am a big proponent of antidepressants. been on celexa for about five years now, off and on but mostly on. I had clinical depression BAD right after three miscarriages and infertility. tried going off 'em but one cousin died of breast cancer and then 1.5 years later her bro' (my closest cuz') committed suicide. Decided to go back on 'em and glad I did, helped me deal with Dave's diagnoses better I think.
By the way, just want to make my own personal recommendation for celexa. It seems "milder" or something than most of them, at least, for me, no side effects. Dave tried Paxil and it made him anxious I think. So our family doc put him on celexa recently. he hasn't been on it long enough to know how it's doing - those things take like six weeks to kick in. but it's been very good to me.
Dean, I think you have a great attitude, overall, and just remember that getting down is allowed, staying down is not allowed. as long as you know you're in the slide you can put your feet out and stop yourself.
You take care of yourself, we need your wise words on this board every day!
God Bless you my friend,
Karen C.