Debi

Don't feel bad Mary, Bruce doesn't know her either but is hoping he can introduce Dolly to HIS personal friend one day!!

Dear Frank, Notice how Bruce uses any excuse to stalk Dolly? The man has no limits.. Anyway Frank, I know you will do everything you can to keep that fat lady away. Like Ry said, if you think it will require chickens, I'm sure that can be arranged, the cult has a website with some real nice live chickens. If I ever gave you a compliment, it would be that you were plain amazing, but you know I would never be that nice... Kick *ss Frank....

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one "poppin" over here. Actually, mine has stopped for a bit..it seems to go in cycles. So whatever the heck it is, it is quiet right now...but Rich, I know what you mean by Yuk! Bill, I'm sure the pain will subside bit by bit. My surgeon wouldn't give me pain pills after about 3 weeks out of surgery because he said I would keep needing them. He said that my brain was going to have to learn to 'ignore' the pain, hence the numbness and the only way to do that was to let it hurt for a little while. He explained it like the nerves keep sending signals to the brain of Help me, do something and the brain eventually doesn't respond to the signals, and the pain fades. He told me if I kept taking pain pills, the brain would never 'learn' to ignore the nerve impulses. I have no idea whether this is true or not.. I had told my surgeon about my past addiction problems and this may have helped his refusal to give me sleeping pills or more pain pills. (Chalk this up as one of those times I was sorry that I checked certain boxes about my history on the medical forms). But the pain actually did dissipate after awhile, although I still do get discomfort now and then. Nothing I can't live with though ( I just grumble about it! ). Anyway, hang in there, better days are coming Bill.....

I feel like I have been under a rock..I just saw this post. Hope things take a turn for the better soon Andrea and they figure out what is going on with your mom. Try to get some sleep (easier said than done I know). My thoughts are with you and yours...

Nina, I am so sorry that this happened to you, I felt your disappointment and hurt through your post. I don't have any answers either and have been put in the same situation. It reminds me of when I stopped drinking and learned how ignorant people could be. I would tell people that I was an alcoholic and they just wouldn't understand, they would look at me like I was "weak" (people even said that), and ask me stupid questions like, "Why don't you just slow down?" Duh! I always felt like even my close friends thought there wasn't such a thing as alcoholism and that I just didn't have any willpower (I must have heard this HUNDREDS of times). Like the shambles my life was in was something I asked for. I could go on forever... My point here is I knew that I was an alcoholic and I never stopped telling people that I was a recovering alcoholic when the need arose and sometimes when it didn't. By putting it out there, among other things, it took the "shame" that others wanted me to have, away. When someone asks me if I smoked, I look them straight in the eye and say "yes, I did". Sometimes I want to follow it up with something combative like, Your point? or another cutting remark but I really don't think that the person is intending to be small-minded or vicious. They just have their preset ideas and notions about certain things just like we all do and have never been in these shoes. They have no idea of the hurt their comments bring and I think we need to stop giving these people the power to make us feel bad. Rather than thinking of something to say, we need to look at changing our emotional reaction because we all know there is no shortage of ignorant people out there. This is all easy to say of course, and I'll try to remember it myself next time when someone asks me if I smoked because I know how you felt too well Nina. I hope your feeling better about it today..

I am coming up to the 2 year mark of my surgery and still have pain at times, or a better word would probably be soreness. For me, it is more on my side, and under my breastbone although my back does get "weak" after standing for a long time. I went back to the doctor probably about 3/4 months ago complaining of rib pain and he gave me an anti-inflammatory shot which sort of helped. For me, my pain/discomfort seems to go in cycles and I have convinced myself that as my nerves regenerate, and the numbness goes away, I experience stronger pain for awhile. My surgeon had explained the surgery by saying that alot of your nerves are severed. The nerve damage causes pain and even more so when those nerves start "sparking" and trying to reconnect. The nerves send messages to the brain that there is something wrong and to help, and of course the only "SOS" messages they send is pain. I have gotten progressively better, and my numbness is being replaced slowly with feeling. I think the key word is patience, this is huge surgery we had and the complete healing takes a long time. From being on the board, it seems most of us have had residual pain. I also suggest that if you haven't, just to be on the safe side, have your doctor check that area out. I'm sure that it is just our normal aches and pains, but its best to rule anything else out first.

David, I am glad to see you posting, its about time you stopped using that old cancer/chemo/pneumonia excuse and finally got on and typed something. Sounds like you had a hectic weekend, starting with your Friday night out on the town . Now you need to try to take a few days and actually rest so that you can kick that pneumonia. Anyway good to hear that things are doing better, and my wishes that you feel 2000% better by the time the week is over...

Andrea, You know I am there with ya girlfriend!! I know exactly how you feel. When something good happens or I do something major in my life, at first I am either all stressed out or just have this vague sense of unease. But as each day passes and nothing happens, I feel better and better until I finally end up accepting that good things can happen and they don't always have a price. Since we are so alike that way, I know that you know this all in your heart. I'm glad you post how you feel becasue you are right, someone can always identify. I remember when my daughter was born, 27 years ago, I stood over her crib on a particular trying day and found myself wishing that I never had her. It was a fleeting thought, but for years I was horrified about that one moment, I felt that I was the worst mother in the world, because I wished that about my daughter. It was only years later that I realized that other mothers have had those thoughts and it didn't make me a bad person. If I had been able to speak about my thoughts at the time, I would have realized I wasn't that unique! So, even though I am older and hopefully a bit wiser, I still like to show my insecurities sometimes, to make sure I'm not the only crazy person. And as long as you are on the board, I will rest assured that I am in good company.. P.S. Congrats on the new house. It WILL all be okay!!!

Lenda, Welcome, from one Oklahoman (well, 5 year native) to another, although I am sorry you had to have a reason to post here. My sympathies for the loss of your husband. I hope that you will keep coming here and somehow find the peace that you are looking for.

Yeah Bruce, that's no joke! And with the miles per gallon this thing gets, I'll most likely be sitting with Frank on the side of the road, run out of gas!!

Same here with the lymph nodes, I think they took somewhere between 12 and 17 and in my case, luckily, they all tested clean. Bill- Good to see you posting and am so glad to hear your news!!

Cindi, Just another post urging you to get it looked at, but don't panic Batman, it could be something simple! I get the optical migraines like Addie, and every time I get one, it freaks me totally out. They are always different, the latest batch created a sort of double vision, and I could read like every other letter on a billboard for instance. I don't get the headache at all, just the eye stuff, and then dizziness because I'm having a damn anxiety attack by the time my eyesight returns to normal! The optical migraines are caused by stress I am told >! Anyway, good luck, hang in there, and let us know when you get your answer...

Well Frank, if you have the Moped and suspenders, I can probably get the Explorer up to a bit over a 100 if you want to give it a whirl... If your not feeling up to par we can always put the suspenders on Bruce

Jen, Ditto the above also. I don't take the contrast for the CT scans either as I had an allergic reaction in the past. However, when I have had my brain MRIs, I have been told that contrast wouldn't affect me and it hasn't.

Sandy, Best of luck on your surgery, I am sure everything will go fine and am glad that it can be operated on (even though it still sucks!). Thoughts are with you....

Jen, I have nothing to add, nor any words of wisdom. I just wanted to join the chorus of your support....

Good luck with your surgery Cindy!

Frank, You know how I feel and how I am wishing the best for you and Connie on Thursday....

Okay ladies, between telling David to come out of the closet, and accusing him of living a secret life as a drag queen in Vegas, no wonder he doesn't want to come out. We are one sad fan club David, but you'll have to settle . Hope your feeling more like yourself soon...

Betty, You have always been such a steady presence here on the board, with your quiet humour and your dignity. It makes me terribly sad that you are going through this now but I hope you realize that you are not alone. You have the thoughts of all the people who's heart you have touched there with you, including my own. I will be thinking of you every day Bet, I wish you comfort and peace.

Congrats on your 3 years Joanie!!! It CAN be done.....

Gail, Your post couldn't have come at a better time for me. I have been going through what can best be described as my worst time yet dealing with my fears. I have been reluctant to post regarding it, I feel like a broken record and at the very least, ungrateful. It always helps to see that we are not alone, that we all have our little "guys" locked away in our heads that break out on occasion (and sometimes bring their friends !). I'm glad that you took the time to post about yours, so that I am reminded once again, that I'm not so unique. Here's to an almost 4 years Gail, and as Cindi said, thanks for sticking around to show that it can be done....

Rich, I don't have migraines per say but I have what's called Opthomology Migraines (sp?). I have posted before about them, I get this liquid light sort of flashing thing in one of my eyes. This started about 4 or 5 months post Op (also not too long after my first brain MRI come to think of it). I have recently had a new series of them where it is slightly different and my eyesight goes out of focus, things get really blurry and my field of vision narrows, causing me to get dizzy. These "spells" last about 20/30 minutes. Had a brain CT this time and they are saying it is still most likely "migraine" related. Apparently 10% of migraine sufferers get these symptoms but no headache; they just plain scare me. I go with the stress theories though bringing the migraines on.... Hope your migraines lessen for you Rich...