Kathleen1

Very cool for anyone to do. THanks!!!

My sister is having a biopsy in a few weeks. I have so many questions and so little information. In October they did a chest xray as part of her annual physical. They saw spots in both lungs and thought they might just be scar tissue from past bronchitas or pneumonia. They did the wait three months and watch. In January they did scans again and saw that two of the nodules in one lung had changed...so they are doing surgery to biopsy the nodules and will remove the lobes they are in if need be. She has given very little information and kind of acts like this is nothing. She and her husband were moving into their new house and her husband was going out of the country for work so she postponed her surgery (don't get me started) for a month. The pulmonary specialist wanted her to have surgery immediately. The surgeon said she could wait a month. My question, if we don't know what it is, ie if it IS lung cancer - and we don't know what kind, slow growing, fast growing, why on earth would you wait a month for the biopsy/surgery? I mean this was first detected in October - that is six months ago? If it were me, I'd want the sob out of there if it is by chance lung cancer. I am very worried about her. We lost my Mom to lc 7 months ago today. I say you find out what it is right now and remove it for best outcome. My sister smoked for about 20 years or so, she is age 60 and quit smoking 15-20 years ago. Does anyone have any thing to share? I'm sorry I do not have more info but she is not sharing. She insists if it is LC that they will just take care of it....almost like its not serious. It sounds a bit like denial to me and I am very concerned about waiting for surgery. Thanks for anything you can share. Kate

Laurey, I am so sorry you are hurting. I have not lost a spouse so I can't imagine the pain you are enduring. I did lose my Mom/best friend 7 months ago today and it is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I will tell you that in my case month 4 was the worst. I hit my all time low and didn't know how I would ever pull out of it. I am praying for easier days for you and your girls and for strength and faith to get through it. kate

The news of Dana Reeve and Peter Jennings hit me as well, just at the time my Mother was diagnosed. I couldn't understand how this could happen to Dana with all she and Chris had endured. I feel so sad for their family. I think I recall reading that both Peter Jennings and Dana Reeve had SCLC, which was very advanced. I hate this disease!

I was for Senator Clinton before, and now the deal is sealed. Yes I am admitting this. Even though my hubby is a Republican! Go Hillary!

I am 41 and feel I've lost my Mother too young. Being a late bloomer, I married just one month before she passed. It was wonderful having both my parents present at my wedding,yet knowing her time was limited. I miss sharing my new marriage with her. She only visited our home one time and that was before I lived there. Although I feel so lucky she saw my house at all and that she was able to be at my wedding, I grieve that she doesn't know me as a wife and Step Mom. Everyday I wish I could share what is happening in my life these days and knowing I will never be able to hurts greatly. I have two wonderful step daughters, whom she met but she was very ill and there was much more for them and her to know about each other. I haven't found any good books either for dealing with this. It leaves a huge whole - just when my life was really starting to get somewhere - poof Mom is not there.

Sophie, I agree - Mom made you POA for a reason. They should all be ashamed of themselves! Is there anyway you can bring Mom home to live with you? Would that actually be easier for you and your daughter to be at your home rather than you at Mom and Dad's? Be strong. I had to be strong with my family, although not quite as bad of a situation. But still felt I had to protect my Mother at times from my sibling. Be strong and do as you and your Mother wish. You will have no feelings of regret. Someone needs to stand up and honor your Mother's wishes. She is so very lucky to have you! I am so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of your Mother's illness. It is not fair. But I have faith you will do your best and your Mom will know every step of the way. Prayers of peace, strength and comfort being sent your way. Kate

Grace, I am so sorry for your pain and grief. I am sending prayers of strength and peace to you and your girls. Be kind to yourself. kate

Heather, I am so very sorry. Prayers for you and yours. Kate

That is great! Thank you for being the kind of person who takes action and makes a difference. Your mom raised a winner!

Missy, I am so sad to hear your news. Your Mom is such a strong lady. I am sending prayers your way. Kate

You are both amazing women. I am sending prayers your way. k

Don, wishing Lucie a belated birthday. I think you have such a wonderful attitude. Sharing that day with family was such a good thing to do. I'm sure it made the day much easier for all of you and I know she was right there with you. kate

I'm sorry for your pain. Your post touched me so deeply. There is no loss like the loss of a Mother. I am praying for comfort for you and for your pain to ease with everyday. We are here for you. Hang on......one day at a time. Don't look any further than that. And if that is too much take it one hour at a time. You will get through this. Sending hugs and prayers your way, Kate

Shauna, many prayers and hugs for you. kate

Kim, I am sorry you are hurting. I'm glad you vented. You put into words so much of how I feel. It doesn't matter, 48, 58 or 98. I remember as a child (my parents were in their mid 40's when they had me) I remember worrying that my parents would die when I was young and it would be HARDER. I remember praying "please don't let them die before I turn 40, I will be old enough then and able to handle it". Well, I am just about to turn 42 and all I can think is, boy I was a stupid kid! It hurts like crazy no matter what age! It is not normal to lose your parents - its not like it happens to us several times - we have one Mom and one Dad. People can be so insensitive. And they do move on. I haven't moved on in 7 months and I don't think it will ever happen. Some days are better. But in an instant I can cry like a 3 year old. Keep venting - we all get it and when something happens like this to those insensitive people they just might too. Hugs to you and I pray for peace for you and that you feel your Mom with you. I too feel empty most of the time, looking for signs and not seeing them. BUT I did have an awesome sign recently - one I asked for. I'll put it under another post. I am rambling now. Just know we get it and we understand your pain, and how frustrated you feel with those trite responses to your loss. many hugs and well wishes, kate

Ann - sending you hugs. Even though Dennis isn't "here" to share the day with you - he is with you always in your heart. I will be thinking of you my friend. Love, Kate

Prayers for your Mom!

I am sobbing. That was beautiful.

Thank you all for responding to my post. You really validated my feelings when I sure needed it. No one has the right to tell someone when their grief should end or how they should feel. I believe that what my sister did was mean spirited and insensitive and I needed that validation from those who get it. Thank you. k

I am so sorry for your loss, Mindy. There is nothing like losing your Mom. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you Ann. This poem is so appropriate for those last few days. Made me cry too.......

Is it "Always too soon"?

Randy, thinking of you today. A warm fuzzy blanket from the dryer sounds like a good thing for today. May Deb be near you all day and always.

Lisa, thank you for sharing your story. You are a wonderful daughter and gave your Mom the most precious of gifts - to care for her so generously. I know she is so proud of you. My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry that you are hurting and I am so sorry for your loss. May God grant you some peace and comfort and may you hold your memories tight forever. Please take good care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.