daddyslittlegirl

Okay, my dad has completed his WBR and working now on getting some of his strength back. He says that this it! I've asked him to go for another opinion and he said no. I'm not at all happy with his decission but unfortunately I know it's not mine to make. However, he still says "he's fine" and "he's not giving up". I know it's hard to understand, but that's what continues to give me hope. You see, I know when my he says that "he's done", he means with treatment, not with life. He IS a fighter! He keeps telling us that he's not going to let this get him down. So mentally he is fighting and I feel that is very important. I'm praying that after he takes a break from these back to back treatments that he may be willing to reconsider. Until then, I have told my mom and siblings that I don't want to hear about anything. It makes me feel so bad because I do want to be there for everyone. I love him so much and this is tearing me up, but if there isn't anything I can change, I don't want it to interfere with whatever time I have left with him. Is that wrong of me? In the beginning my dad told my mom not to tell me anything. Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world because my dad just doesn't seem like he's doing that badly (especially for someone that has a total of 51 radiation treatments). So it's hard sometimes to accept it. I've made it clear to everyone though that I won't stop sharing information and stories of hope. I'll just keep praying that it will help to keep him going.

Don, Thank you so much for all your words of hope. In the short time I've been part of this forum you have been a great joy. You will be missed. May God Bless you!

Hi. I really don't have any info to add, but after reading Rich's post I was wondering if I could add a question to that. Can Tarceva be taken by someone that has or had smoked? And if so, does that effect the outcome? Thanks for the info.

I'd have to agree with Ernie. I know it's hard to be strong, but your strength will help to keep your parents positive and hopefully give your dad more fight. I'm praying for that anyway. In the meantime, don't neglect yourself. Make sure you have the time to let your emotions out as well. We are hear to listen anytime. Hang in there!

Missy, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are a strong person and wonderful daughter. I pray that your family is able to find strength through you. God bless you!

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I can see how you would be concerned. "Hats off to you" for finding humor in it.

Hi Sunny, Welcome. I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I would not push a prognosis. It may turn out to be something you (or her) doesn't want to hear. The most important thing to do is find out what treatments can be done and leave the rest to the big man upstairs since he's the only one who really knows. Hang in there.

I'm in the same boat. 29, 29, 29, 29, 29, 29. Hope you have a wonderful 29th birthday again, and again, and so on!!!!

Your mom sounds like an amazing women. That is wonderful that they could enjoy such a beautiful trip together. I'm sendind prayers for more good news.

Hi Richard, Just wanted to say welcome and that I'm sending prayers. Please know that we are here for you. So you can take being alone of your things to be scared of. Hang in there.

Hi Bucky, That's good news about your lungs being in remission. Now you just have to get over this next hurdle. My dad has his last of 13 rounds of WBR on Monday. He'd been real tired but pushed himself to chug along. He's been a little off balance and has some hair coming out. I'm praying that you both have great success!

I know what you mean, my dad keeps saying that he can't understand why he's so tired. He fights it to keep going. Our secret weapon is my kids. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Even though I live about 40 minutes from my parents, I try to make it up there 3-4 times a week. He really enjoys the time witht he kids and they sure help to keep him going. Of course we still encourage him to take his naps. I'm pretty impressed with your dad. I mean working through all this and now jogging! WOW! If your mom can get him to do that he must be pretty amazing.

That sounds like positive news. Not losing weight is good, but gaining it back is really good. My dad has a muscle disease that he is prescribed prednisone for. He went off (on his own) about a year before he was diagnosed. He lost about 70 lbs. in that time frame. The doctor said that was normal for someone coming off the medication. Now, we wonder how much of it was from the cancer. He since has gone back on it and each week has gained more weight. It seems he's hungry all the time. His pulmonologist did suggest additional dairy. He said to do the ensure / boost milkshake. He said if he eats eggs, put cheese in them. If he eats apple pie, put a big scoop of ice cream on it. He also said for him not to have coffee until after he ate his breakfast because that would tend to make him feel full. Anyway, I just wanted to share that. I also want you to know that I'm praying, after you get pass this stressful wait, that you have great results. Hang in there.

Many prayers that you soon have 2 healthy babies.

I don't feel my dad is ready to give up. He is a STRONG man. I think he's tired of going daily for the radiation and needs a break from that, but he's always been a fighter. He has so much pride and dignity which keeps him going. So I don't want my mom "overcarring" for him by telling him he can't do things or doing them before he has a chance to. My brother and I feel the same way. But when we say anything to her she gets defensive and makes comments that we don't think she can take care of him. I don't know how to make her realize that, even though she has good intentions, she may be doing too much. If he's treated like an invilid he will lose his pride and dignit and fight, then we there won't be any hope. Anyway, I'm sorry if this sounds redundant, but it's bothering me on a daily basis. Thanks for listening.

tiredmom959, Thank you so much for your kind words. It sounds like you know exactly what I'm speaking of. Hopefully, my mom will realize soon what my dad is trying to tell her too. I'm glad to have your company as well. God Bless.

I'm so sorry your MIl is not doing well and that you are left to support everyone. You must be strong and caring women. My dad went through 38 rounds of radiation on his chest. He did seem more tired than normal. He did have some difficulty swallowing, but that seems to have gotten better. Now that he has started WBR almost immediatly after completing the radiation on his chest he is extremely tired!. My dad however didnt' have chemo prior so that may make a difference too. I hope that along with many prayers helps. Hang in there.

I'm sorry you are depressed right now. I hope through that you are finding a way to stay positive. I'm sure what she was referring to is that you don't want to go in to a nursing home when your 90, right???

kaneohegirl, I agree with Adrian you are WAY ahead of where we are. You are missing my complete point. First of all, not to be too personal, but my parents don't even sleep together at night. I understand that married couples have their private time and discussions that are between them. But than perhaps it should have stayed between them. Second of all, my dad nor I, am at the point to think about "having a good death." I am supporting my dad and his decsision to do what he wants including cutting the grass, clearing his own dishes, helping with the laundry, etc. and still being treating like a normal person!!!! Because that is what he keeps telling ME he wants!! (that he doesn't want to be waited on). What I am asking for (and venting about) is advice on how to get my mom to let him do the things he wants. My dad looks to me for words of encouragement and hope, so obviously that is what he wants. I have not pushed my dad to do ANYTHING nor have I "begged" him. I'm sorry that you have the burdon of doing everything for you dad, but perhaps there are other differences in our situations than just that.

John, thank you so much for the info. It sounds like I should not push my dad to og with us for my little guys haircut??? My dad is the same way. I'm 34 and only remember him with his silver hair. They did tell him that it may grow back (assuming he loses it) darker or curier or maybe not at all. Did you have any vision loss or blured vision? If so, was it temporary? Did they ever tell you that you couldn't drive? And if so, was that temporary? These are alot of questions I should probably just pm you (sorry). We keep telling him once this is over he will start to get some of his strength back and I keep praying for that. Thanks again.[/b]

Is it okay if I ask some questions about this too? My dad has now had 9 of 13 treatments. He is starting to get very tired. That is to be expected though since he didn't really have much of a break after his 38 rounds to the chest. How long will it take before he starts to get his strenght back? He has also started complaining that his vision is blury. Do you think this is from the tumors or the WBR? Lastly, (and this is the least important) many of you wrote about hair loss. How long does that take for it to happen? My dad has started to lose a strand here and there. I'm asking because he wants to get a haircut, but my mom has been telling him to just leave it alone (because she's anticipating it falling out soon). He has always taken my 2 year old son with him for his haircuts and I didn't want to bring it up to him if it's not a good idea. Anyway, thank you so much for the info!

I'm so sorry for what you are feeling. Maybe an anti-depressant is a good idea, but definetly a second opion is a great idea. I pray this all gets cleared up for you with good news FAST!

I'm so sorry you and your mom had this difficult time. It's nice that you were able to talk about it and come to an understanding. I can't say that I can completly relate to what you are going through. I don't live wiht my dad (although I wish I did) and am not his primary care giver. So I know that in addition to your emotional stress your are also experiencing some physical stress. I commend you for all you are doing. I also know there is know way that I can begin to understand what your mom and my dad are feeling. My dad is very strong around me so I try to do the same for him. Even though I have my many breakdowns I try my best not to do it around him. I don't want him to worry about me in addition to what he's already dealing with. After all if we don't demonstrate hope and a positive attitude how can we expect them to have any? So I look to my husband and the people here for my support. Please know that we are hear to listen to you at any time. Hang in there.

Bucky, I'm so sorry for all the fears you are having right now. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I know how I felt after I learned of my dad's brain mets. However, I have found so much hope from the posts here. So, yes I do beleive there is still hope. I'll be saying a prayer for you.