You have so much in your life that is difficult. It is that much more important that you and your boyfriend release ALL GUILT and make sure you enjoy the little things you can every day. The guilt is not yours, it is your families.... so you must try hard to let it go. Do every thing you can to make things pleasant for YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND. If others choose to join you for happy and joyous times.... great. Otherwise, they are making their own choices.