Ben,
Greetings to a NYer from a former NYer. I was born and raised there, my parents just moved out west 3 years ago. I feel for you b/c my mom was in a similar situation to your mom--stopped smoking over 20 years ago and seemed so healthy.
I am not sure what to tell you about bone mets and symptoms, just wanted to say I am sorry you have to go through this!
Since you are in Manhattan, have you gotten a second opinion at Sloans? Or maybe that is where she is beign treated. It always helps b/c different doctors view things differently.