stand4hope

Nine, I'm so sorry that ruined your day. I think it's best to answer a question (or statement) like that with a question. I would simply say, "Hmmm. Why would you say that?" or "Hmm. Why would you ask?" Be kind, but look them right in the eye when you ask and wait for an answer. They will either apologize, fumble around or come right out say that they knowthat smoking causes lung cancer. Then you come back with another question. Did you know that 15-50% of people with lung cancer are nonsmokers or never smoked? Just take it from there. You get the picture. I would then leave the conversation without giving him/her an answer, and I'm sure they won't ask you again. Everyone, please remember that 90% of the people that say ask this or think it aren't even thinking about how rude the question is. It just doesn't occur to them. Most people really aren't rude and wouldn't hurt your feelings for anything in the world, and would feel really bad if they knew. They just simply need to be educated. We can do that without making them feel bad. If you would use this type of technique, I don't think he/she would ever ask another lung cancer patient that question again. Of course, a small percentage are going to be buttheads no matter what - just forget them and move on. Big hugs to you, Nina! You have nothing to be ashamed of. Love, Peggy

This is so sad to read your words. I think if I were in your shoes at this time, though, that I would be having some of the same thoughts you are. I think that all you can do is take it one day at a time, actually one moment at a time. Your emotions are just going to be up and down, on and off, and I doubt there is anything you can do to stop them. If you are a spiritual person, stay close to God. As far as your younger children are concerned, you know them better than anybody else. You know what they can handle and what they can't. Follow your natural instincts, and you'll do ok. Love and prayers, Peggy

Not too much to report from the onc visit today for my husband. The good news is that the nodule under his arm is a cyst and not a lymph node, the rest is get more scans and wait some more. Scans have been scheduled to check the hip/leg pain and the pericardial effusion, as well as to see if the cancer is on the move to decide if he should stop Tarceva and try Alimta. He is getting a PET Scan for the bones, CT for chest, abdomen & pelvis, and Echocardiogram for the effusion. The onc wanted to get the PET right away, so it's next week, the CT and echo are the following week, and follow up with the doctor on the 27th. I'm hoping he will call us before the 27th if the PET shows anything. And if he doesn't, I know I can't wait that long, so I will give him a couple of days and then I'll call him. The major thing going on is that hubby has decided to take a medical leave. It's just getting way too hard for him to work. He's so wiped out by the end of the day, that it's all he can do just to drag himself to bed. His quality of life will be so much better if he can let go of the pressure of feeling like he has to go to work and pace himself doing things he enjoys doing. When I get home from work every night, he is already asleep, and on the weekends lately, he still cuts the grass and does his usual stuff, albeit at a slower pace, but then he doesn't have enough energy or desire to even go out to eat. He just wants to go to bed and sleep because he's so worn out. He just doesn't have the endurance he used to. My husband has always been a hard worker every waking moment of his life - if not on the job, here at home. He just never stops. I call him the Energizer Bunny because he keeps going and going and going, and he will do the same thing with this disease until he can't go anymore. So, this was a very hard decision for him to make. We had to talk and get past his thoughts that it meant he was giving up. In an email to him at work I said, "Heck, maybe we can even take a trip." His response was "Can we take the dogs as checked baggage?" LOL! I got him to thinking about some of things he/we could do, so he didn't see it as giving up, and that more rest would help him continue to fight back this disease. Our son is still in the hospital, but showing some signs of improvement. It's been 26 days now. The doctor added enzyme tablets and started letting him have clear liquids yesterday and trying full liquids tonight. I think her plan is to see if she can get him eating successfully with the help of the enzymes and maybe release him, even if he still has an elevated lipase level. The longer he is in there, the greater the risk of pneumonia, blood clots, etc. I know the doctor also really wants to pull the PICC line and stop the TPN since the longer he's getting that, the greater risk of infection. As you know, an infection in your blood is not a good thing. Sooooo, we'll see how he does the next couple of days. So, my men are keeping me hopping - that's for sure. I sure do love them, though, and I wouldn't choose to be doing anything else. You all take care. I'm checking in every day and trying to keep up with at least a few posts every day or so. Love to all, Peggy

Here one that will give the women some points for May: Bottle of Wine For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine. Sally was driving home from one of her business trips when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."

My husband had carbo/taxotere. It was very hard on him, and in fact, he had an allergic reaction on the third infusion. They tried again the next week with benadyrl in advance, more steroids, etc., but the same thing happened. Peggy

Dear Cathy, This would be me, too: I know that if I were in your shoes, I would be scrambling to be sure that everything was in order and everybody could find everything and as much that could be done in advance would be done. I'm a proactive person to a fault. LOL! I'm sorry to hear that this week has been a little tougher. Trying to do too many things and not getting enough rest could be contributing. Again, if you're like me, it won't do any good to tell you to slow down, but it's the right thing to say, so SLOW DOWN! Love, hugs and prayers, Cathy! Peggy

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a ... 7769606669 May 11, 2005 Lilly, Roche developing tests to match patients, cancer drugs Indianapolis (Bloomberg) -- Roche Holding AG, the biggest maker of cancer drugs and diagnostic tests, will work with Indianapolis-based drugmaker Eli Lilly and Co. to develop tests to measure which patients will benefit from two cancer drugs. The tests may help identify which patients are most likely to respond to Lilly's Alimta and Gemzar cancer drugs, said Switzerland-based Roche. The two companies will work with privately held Response Genetics Inc. on the "biomarker" tests. "This agreement is excellent news for both physicians and patients as the world of truly personalized medicine becomes an ever-growing reality," said Heino von Prondzynski, head of Roche's diagnostic division, in an e-mailed statement.

Dear Pat and Brian, I understand that Cisplatin is one of the tougher chemos to get through, and if it isn't helping, did the onc suggest switching to something else? Don't you worry - this board is here for both of you. I love to read your sweet, tender and loving posts to others, and I also love the way you express your appreciation. I'm sure God loves you both very much! Love, Peggy

Good one, Fay! Joanie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love, Peggy

Dear Andrea, I'm so hoping that all went well. I hope we hear from you soon. Love, Peggy

Dear Nancy, First of all, your bio says this: I'm not sure what that means. If he has bone pain, has he had a PET scan or a bone scan? Those two scans can determine if the cancer has metastasized to the bones. His bone pain could also be caused only by the cancer.My husband also got bad after his third treatment with chemo in Aug/Sept 2003. He did not have some of the things you describe that Mike has, i.e., swelling, vomiting, etc., but he had lots of other side effects and it literally knocked him out of commission for 2 months. He slept almost 24/7. Now, he was also getting radiation to the tumor in his lung which was 7 cm. at the same time as the chemo, so that gives a double whammy, especially with fatigue. He was so weak and tired that I honestly thought the treatments were going to kill him instead of the chemo. He was also very advanced at diagnosis (8 brain mets and the lung tumor, plus we're sure he had bone mets, but a PET scan wasn't done until he had a problem with his shoulder the following spring). Here's the good part: HE DID GET BETTER! He got a LOT better, but it took time. He never got back to his original strength level, but he got well enough to return to work full time, take care of everything around our house that he did before treatment, and even rides a big Kawasaki Voyager and took a trip to the Smokies on it last fall. He's having some problems now, but he's 19 mos. post-diagnosis, and all the time previous to now, he has done really, really well. Now, I am not saying this is the case with Mike. He's having some different reactions to the chemo. Do you feel comfortable and confident that his oncologist is on top of all these side effects? If not, go to another oncologist. The side effects you describe (if that's what they are) sound more severe than most have. Justakid (Beth) had some really profound side effects from different treatments, so it can happen that certain chemos can really be TOO MUCH for certain people. Even if you are comfortable with his oncologist, and since his side effects are so bad, I would still recommend getting a second opinion. I hope this helps give you some encouragement, and I appreciate you keeing up posted. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. If one of the kids can cover for you for a while, go do some shopping or have lunch with a friend and try to do something that's not cancer related. It will help to refresh YOU and help you to stay focused and more calm. Love and hugs, Peggy

Rachel, This post kept popping up in my list of "View latest posts" and I thought I had already responded to you. I know darn well that I read it. Anyway, here's my response: YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Peggy

YAHOO!! Hi sweetie! So glad to see your handsome picture up there and so glad to hear you're ok. Don't you scare us like that again. Get some rest, kick back and smell the roses for a while. Love, Peggy

Hi David, Glad to see you back and giving us an update. You've had a rough time of it big guy! I hope you get a break real soon with the ups and downs. I always did hate roller coasters. Stay in touch now - YOU HEAR!! Love and hugs, Peggy

Congratulations, Addie! You are one special lady in my book - such an inspiration to all of us. KICK THAT CANCER'S BUTT!! Love, Peggy

Dear Nancy, Mike has been through a really tough time and you have been such a wonderful wife and caregiver. I just know he is going to make it down that aisle and receive the love and admiration that he deserves. You are good people!! Love, Peggy

Hi Bill, Try not to worry about this. The way I have read all the literature and reports is that while there was "some evidence" that the worse the rash the better the Traceva is working, the reports also said it was inconclusive. Even though there is a chance that Tarceva may have stopped working for my husband (we don't know yet), Iressa had ALSO stopped working and they are almost the exact same drug. Iressa worked for him for about 10 months and his rash was bad at first and also went away. I'll just quote my dad: "Think positive, baby, think postive!" Love and hugs, Peggy

Andrea, I know you probably won't sleep a wink tonight. Tell you what. While you are tossing and turning and driving Brian crazy, think about me praying for your mom. Peace to your sweet heart! Love and hugs, Peggy

Oh, shoot, Tina! No! No! No! I don't have any answers for you, my friend, but you already know from our PMs how I feel. May God lift you both up and get you through yet another setback. He will! All my love, Peggy

Well, Jen, I hate to say that anemia is "great", but THAT'S GREAT!!! Love and hugs, Peggy

Thanks again to everyone who answered my question about the lymph node, both on the board and in PMs. The onc wants to wait and check the lump himself before doing more scans. Scans were just done in March (and they weren't great then), so I don't know about getting new ones. I told the onc if he needs them and the ins. company won't pay so soon, we'll pay for them ourselves. He has a great insurance company, so hopefully they will pick up the tab. We already had an appointment for late Friday afternoon, so he will also decide what to do about the left hip pain at the same time, which is still pretty mild. It bothers him more when sitting, sleeping and when he first gets up. It seems to let up a little when he moves around some. I will post an update and the new plan Friday night or Saturday. Our son is still in the hospital, blood test results up and down like a yo-yo. We are still hoping he shows big improvement this week, they can start introducing food, and he will get to come home soon. It's just another wait and see. The nurses are getting to know me so well that I get hugs now when I go on the floor. That's ok, I always say that if it moves, I'll hug it, so I just hug right back. Wait - wait - wait - wait. It seems that all we do is WAIT! Love and hugs to everyone, Peggy

Hi Betty, I hope you are able to read these posts or that someone is reading them to you. If someone is reading and can post and give us an update, we would love to know how you're doing. Praying - praying - praying! Love, Peggy

Hi Oliver and WELCOME! I have to ditto Lisa O's post for how I found this site. I had been on the internet day and night for months looking for hope - anything that didn't say my husband was going to die in 6 months. I actually was searching a medical term or something and saw the link and that's how I found it. I was also a lurker for a while. I had never done anything like this before, but I was so impressed that people actually had their pictures online. The pictures really got my attention, and the more I read, I just felt like I could join this group. I joined anonymously and even used fake names to start out. LOL! I still can't use my husband's name online - I promised I wouldn't. My nickname is Peggy, but my real name is Margaret. I always tell everyone that the only ones that call me that are bill collectors. I'm so glad you found us and decided to join. If you have been an internet searcher, you will find your need to do that will lessen each day because you can probably get 99.9% of your answers right here, along with a whole lot of HOPE! Love, Peggy

Thank you Connie & Tina, I have spent hours and hours this weekend on the internet and couldn't find anyplace where it said that lung cancer could spread to these lymph nodes. All I could find was tons of stuff on lymphoma, Hodgkins and non-Hodgkins. Hubby said I can call the onc for him in the morning about this, so I'm glad for that. Thanks again, Love, Peggy

Hi everybody, I asked this question on Ask the Experts, but have not gotten an answer yet, so I thought I'd ask all of you. On Saturday, my husband discovered a lump in his armpit. It's exactly where a lymph node is located and is under the skin, solid, hard, and about the size of a dime. If this is indeed a lymph node and it is malignant, this will be the first lymph node that has been involved since he was diagnosed. His cancer has been systemic - brain, bones, liver, pericardial sac, etc., but no lymph nodes. Do any of you know if lung cancer spreads there, or could this possibly be something else? Thanks for the info. Love to all, Peggy